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INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH HUMOR |
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Posted on 01/13/2014 4:42:09 PM PST by My hearts in London - Everett
Oh, gummy bears! They’re so tasty and delicious you can never eat just one. In fact most of us eat them by the handful. And with diet season in full swing, some of us may be looking at the sugar-free alternative to help ease the gummy bear cravings.
But before you hop on Amazon to make a bulk purchase of the sugar-free variety, you just might want to read the safety warnings. Or better yet, take a look at the user submitted reviews. We’ve compiled the best of the best for you here at Slightly Viral…
“And that, to my great chagrin, is why I didn’t immediately notice the difference between Haribo Normal Gummi Bears (which are designed for human enjoyment) and Haribo Sugarless Gummi Bears (which are designed for use in maximum security prisons as a way to punish uncooperative inmates).”
Great find. As one who had his gallbladder yanked a year ago (therefore more than subject so sudden 'explosiveness') I found myself feeling not-so-alone in the world....
Industrial strength humor here.
Japanese revenge for losing WW2?
Hilarious! Do not read this to a husband who is eating! Hubby sprayed his food all over the table and into my glass of tea. ROFLOL.
LOL My job here is done for the night! hehe
theres one sugar subsitute that affects me somewhat the same way...
It found in some brands of cough drops.
I think this tops the “Ryan’s Steakhouse” story. I laughed until I had to quit reading so I could breathe.
Importantly, this is a fairly common effect of some of the sugar alcohols. But a warning. One of the sugar alcohols, called Xylitol, is deadly to dogs. It is usually found in treats designed for diabetics, and it is harmless to humans, possibly causing diarrhea like other sugar alcohols if you eat too much of it.
Lollipops, syrups, cookie mixes, brownie mixes and jellies all may contain Xylitol. But because of its extreme toxicity to dogs, manufacturers do not list it as just another “sugar alcohol”, of which there are many, so the label will specifically say Xylitol.
“Once thought to cause only hypoglycemia in dogs, this sugar substitute has recently been discovered to also produce acute, possibly life-threatening liver disease, acute hepatic necrosis, hypokalemia, hypophosphatemia, and coagulopathy.”
“Toxic level are from as little as .1g/kg of the dog’s weight. After xylitol ingestion, vomiting is usually the initial sign. Hypoglycemia may develop within 30 to 60 minutes. However, in some cases of xylitol gum ingestion, hypoglycemia may be delayed for up to 12 hours. The clinical signs may progress rapidly from lethargy to ataxia, collapse, and seizure. Acute liver failure from 12 to 24 hours.”
“The lowest estimated dose associated with liver failure to date has been 0.5 g/kg.”
Oops! He made it to the bottom of his glass of tea before he noticed the rice precipitate awaiting reentry to his mouth.
Mentat!
Sugarless candies are composed of so-called non-nutritive sugars that taste sweet but which cannot be digested by enzymes in the gut. They are supposedly to pass harmlessly through one’s system, but are problematic when eaten to excess, and some people cannot tolerate even small amounts. Notably, if even a relatively small amount causes trouble, it can be a sign that one has a digestive disorder. Medical help should be sought to identify and treat the specific problem.
Thanks for that warning!
Oh my God! I am in tears from laughter and my sides hurt.
My wife and daughter came into my office to see why I was laughing so hard. That first review is priceless!
Thank you for the comedic diversion. It is greatly appreciated.
Sending a box to my Congressman now.
“Bless the Maker and His water.
Bless the coming and going of Him.
May His passage cleanse the world, starting with my lower intestinal tract.”
Freegards
It’s hard to ascertain the ingredients, but the offending one is Lycasin, aka ‘Malitol’.
Anyone with a diabetic in the family is familiar with this ingredient and its effects.
Fyi, it ‘is’ possible to ‘acclimate’ to the sugar alcohol by gradually introducing it to your system, not ‘shocking’ the system with a Gummy Bear overdose.
(still wiping tears from my eyes from laughing so damned hard...)
Suggestion: Stock up on these and hand-deliver ‘candy-baskets’ to all the Liberal ‘get out the vote’ campaigns this fall (without the package, of course).
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INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH HUMOR |
| No amateurs, please. Send FReepmail if you want on/off ISHP list |
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| The List of Ping Lists | |
I am on page 7 of the reviews. Tears are running down my cheeks
What a riot.
Too much!
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