In honor of Constitution week...
Posted on 09/19/2014 5:48:30 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
In honor of Constitution week...
"It's time to take back America!" ~ Joe Biden (D) Delaware, 9/1/14
Just two points...
a) you've had the White House for 6 years now, take it back from "what"?
b) Eric Holder says that phrase is racist.
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President Obama and First Lady Michelle released a statement thanking Muslim Americans for their many “achievements and contributions… to building the very fabric of our nation and strengthening the core of our democracy.”
Well that sounds great... except for two very minor issues:
1) None of the founders were Muslim
2) We live in a republic, not a democracy
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“There’s too much money in politics. There’s special interests that have too much influence. There is something you can do right now today to make a difference, and that is to write a big, fat check. I kid you not, I’m going to be honest with you. That’s what we need you to do right now. We need you to write the biggest, fattest check that you can possibly write.” ~ Michelle Obama (D) Illinois
One side of her face: "Money is bad!"
Other side of her face: "Give me yo money!"
Hypocrite.
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This has to be heard/watched... text wouldn't do it justice.
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“I think that there have been a number of situations in which you’ve seen this administration intervene in a meaningful way, that has substantially furthered American interests and substantially improved the, uh, you know, the – the tranquility of the global community.” ~ Josh Earnest (D) Obama Press Secretary
TRANQUILITY: a state of calm or quietude
At the time of his statement, around the globe:
* Russia is invading Ukraine
* ISIS is invading Iraq
* Syria is in a civil war
* Libya is in a civil war
* Gaza and Israel firing missiles at each other
* A flood of illegal immigrants sneaking into the USA
* Iran developing nukes to threaten Israel
* Our soldiers getting pink slips while fighting in Afghanistan
Tranquility? "You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means."
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Yesterday, I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world’s largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the “Walmartians” is always good for some comic release. Besides I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent this establishment.
But, I digress... enough of my psychological fixations.
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, “Are you a Vietnam Vet?”
“No,” I replied.
“Then why are you wearing that cap?”
“Because I couldn’t find the one from the War of 1812.”
I thought this was a snappy retort.
“The War of 1812, huh?” the “Walmartian” queried, “When was that?”
God forgive me, but I couldn’t pass up such an opportunity. “1936,”
I answered, as straight-faced as possible.
He pondered my response for a moment and then asked, “Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?”
“It was a Black Operation. No one is supposed to know about it.”
This was beginning to be way too much fun!
“Dude! Really?” he exclaimed.
“How did you get to do something that COOOOL?”
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy, and in a low voice said. “I’m not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission.”
“Dude,” he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, “that is seriously awesome! But, didn’t you kind of stand out?”
“Not really. The other guys were all wearing white camouflage.”
The moron nodded knowingly.
“Listen man,” I said in a very serious tone, “You can’t tell anyone about this. It’s still ‘top secret’ and I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Oh yeah?” he gave me that, ‘don’t threaten me look.’ “Like, what’s gonna happen if I do?”
With a really hard look I said, “You have a family don’t you? We wouldn’t want anything to happen to them, would we?”
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack, she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw the Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.
Giving him another ‘deadly’ serious look, I made the ‘I see you’ gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped into the car and sped out of the parking lot in a flurry of dust.
What a great time I had!
Tomorrow I’m going back with my Homeland Security cap.
Then the next day I will go to the DMV so I can wear a Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty out the place.
Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!
Top Ten?
Missed it by *that* much!
Top 5,......awesome
Top 6?
That story about WalMart was hysterical!
Just what i needed to brighten my day. :-)
^10?
Top Ten?
Top 11
I try my best! :-)
Well.....ITS FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
LMAO!
I just read the walmart story over the phone to my 88 year old Mom, and she enjoyed it thoroughly!
The Friday Silliness Thread is far reaching!
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