When husband and wife come closer to God, they come closer to each other as well.
Posted on 11/10/2014 8:44:34 AM PST by SeekAndFind
Science says lasting relationships come down to—you guessed it -- KINDNESS and GENEROSITY.
Every day in June, the most popular wedding month of the year, about 13,000 American couples will say “I do,” committing to a lifelong relationship that will be full of friendship, joy, and love that will carry them forward to their final days on this earth.
Except, of course, it doesn’t work out that way for most people.
The majority of marriages fail, either ending in divorce and separation or devolving into bitterness and dysfunction.
Of all the people who get married, only three in ten remain in healthy, happy marriages, as psychologist Ty Tashiro points out in his book "The Science of Happily Ever After," which was published earlier this year.
Social scientists first started studying marriages by observing them in action in the 1970s in response to a crisis: Married couples were divorcing at unprecedented rates. Worried about the impact these divorces would have on the children of the broken marriages, psychologists decided to cast their scientific net on couples, bringing them into the lab to observe them and determine what the ingredients of a healthy, lasting relationship were.
Was each unhappy family unhappy in its own way, as Tolstoy claimed, or did the miserable marriages all share something toxic in common?
Psychologist John Gottman was one of those researchers. For the past four decades, he has studied thousands of couples in a quest to figure out what makes relationships work. I recently had the chance to interview Gottman and his wife Julie, also a psychologist, in New York City. Together, the renowned experts on marital stability run The Gottman Institute, which is devoted to helping couples build and maintain loving, healthy relationships based on scientific studies.
(Excerpt) Read more at businessinsider.com ...
Don’t forget patience and tolerance...
“The MAJORITY of marriages fail. . .”
Okay. . .but in the nest paragraph:
“Of all the people who get married, only three in ten remain in healthy, happy marriages. . .”
Three out of ten is now a majority?
Must be common core math. . .
It’s actually ONE basic trait—Putting your spouse’s needs before your own.
2) Don't write these types of articles for publication in a scholarly journal. No one reads them. Especially not girls.
May be apocryphal, but I remember reading that a long time ago.
My wife is a hoarder.
Basically, I’ve been hoarded.
IMHO - successful marriage is recognizing you are part of something greater than yourself, and greater than the sum of its parts. You are part of a marriage, and a family - both immediate (children) but also in-laws, cousins, etc....
It helps greatly also to believe that your marriage, as man and wife, are ordained and blessed by God - again, something greater than the sum of the parts.
KINDNESS and GENEROSITY
Has worked in our marriage for years. The wife is flush with both, which drove her to take me on as a reclamation project.
That is key.
Seven out of ten marriages failing is a majority. Three in ten remain in healthy, happy marriages....
When husband and wife come closer to God, they come closer to each other as well.
Money and sex?
Husband, love your wife.
Wife, respect your husband.
Simple, biblical wisdom.
Of course, some people become involved in three or ten separate failed marriages. So how useful is a statistic that doesn’t norm that out?
I have done lots of work on myself, sometimes acting contrary to what you would think would make a successful relationship. The payoff is I like being is a relationship with her and that creates a positive feedback loop. What is funny the thing she said the more successful and good looking the men she dated, the more f'ed up they were, the less secure with themselves they were, the more they were unauthentic. Why did she go out with me??? Hmmm we met waiting in line for a table at a restaurant. I talked to her and her friend, thought she was drop dead and ...as I was leaving I placed my phone on her table as I went to the rest room, whispered in her ear that I wanted her to add her phone number to my phone. I came back, saw the phone on the edge of her table. I picked it up and her name and number were entered... She confessed that was the cutest, most assertive and sexually exciting thing ANY man had done with her. Lightbulb went off moment for me. Women love assertive, confident men. And...that leads to a good marriage.
Read again what you wrote.
3 in ten don’t fail.
would mean 7 in ten fail.
7 in ten = majority. I think.
“My wife is a hoarder.
Basically, I’ve been hoarded.”
Lol!
So I take it the Berlin wall is not going anywhere;)
A man never knows what true happiness is until he is married. Unfortunately, by then it’s already too late!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.