Ayn Rand Reviews Children’s Movies

The New Yorker | December 18, 2014 | Mallory Ortberg

[iowamark]

Link only per The New Yorker copyright complaint:

Ayn Rand Reviews Children's Movies

[iowamark]

LOL

[iowamark]

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/ayn-rand-reviews-childrens-movies

[verga]

Darn Funny.

Why her obsession with cats?

[SamAdams76]

Nice find.

The funny thing is, the bow-tied bumkissers at the NYT probably think they are lampooning Ayn. However, most conservatives are nodding our heads in agreement on just about every review!

[Slings and Arrows]

Why her obsession with cats?

Because Miss Rand was a very intelligent woman. ;^)

[stormer]

Perhaps next she can do Christian themed movies...

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

“Up”
A man refuses to sell his home to serve the convenience of others, which is his right as an American citizen. He meets a dog, which neither finds food for him nor protects him from danger. He would have been better off with a cat. There are no cats in this movie. —Two stars.

Very good review.

[Kirkwood]

She would give no stars for any of them. She had no tolerance for religion.

[golux]

There are no trains in this movie.

[golux]

Neither Christmas nor Christmas movies have much at all to do with religion. However, Polar Express features a train.

[Slings and Arrows]

She missed her calling. ;^)

[Morpheus2009]

If there was ever someone who succeeded in bipartisan humor, it was the New Yorker. Ayn Rand is too far out there for most people.

[Publius]

It’s a satire on Rand, not real Rand, but it’s still hilarious. Write your own Randian movie reviews!

[sauropod]

.

[Billthedrill]

Goldilocks and the Three Bears

A miserable thief burglarizes the home of three industrious citizens and helps herself to the fruits of their labors, leaving no means of exchange behind. She chooses only those possessions that most suit her and discards the rest as unmarketable and therefore worthless. The citizens return home and chase the thief off. A dark tragedy, probably not for young children. No cats or trains. There is porridge. Two stars.

(By the way, that was how the original story went.)

[dfwgator]

” I believe more movies should be made about enterprising young boys who are given factories. “

BWAHAHAHAHA!

[MV=PY]

Good stuff! Thanks for posting.

(Note for those of us who are satire-impaired: Ayn didn’t really write these.)

[Explorer89]

Rand ping!

[dynachrome]

“Old Yeller”

A farm animal ceases to be useful and is disposed of humanely. A valuable lesson for children. —Four stars.

LOL