Posted on 11/15/2016 10:08:30 AM PST by Strac6
This just in!!!!
The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week.
The victory of Republican presidential candidate D. Trump over his establishment foe H. Clinton is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they'll soon be required to obtain gainful employment, pay taxes and live according to the Constitution if they remain.
Canadian border residents say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, liberal arts majors, global-warming activists, and "green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their fingers in their ears and kept coming. Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," a Mountie in Alberta said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers.
Rumors are circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Canadian and U.S. Constitution, and find jobs that contribute to the economy.
In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the 50s.
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, and are overloading the internet while downloading jazzercise apps to their cell phones.
"I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "After all, how many art-history majors does one country need?"
Not to mention the methane emissions.
Canada has an immigration policy which is much tougher than ours.
They already kick illegals out instantly and if they have Canadian citizen anchor babies the parents are still kicked out but are allowed the option of leaving the citizen with other family citizens.
Mexico is even tougher.
Did you write this?
You didn’t have to tell us that this is satire. As soon as I read that a liberal scaled a fence, I knew it.
Bravo, well done.
Canada’s immigration policies are tough on paper.
In reality they are a bunch of wusses and don’t ever enforce them (sound familiar?)
Canadians start building border wall to keep out American liberals.
Very funny eh. Libtards seems sadly, like a very appropiate moniker. (not Miss lewinsky!)
Well done.
These racist want to “escape” to a predominantly white country.
Lol - well they’d best be quick about the escape. We’re not going to be predominantly white for much longer.
A+ FOR YOU, AND GO TO THE HEAD OF THE CLASS!
I like it too!
Canada - be warned. Institute a shoot-on-sight policy. You simply can’t trust these American leftists.
can I redistribute with out fear of prosecution?
Yet another no-link fluff piece posted as news.
You’re on a roll.
Wrong grumpy.
A satirical piece post as that and quite funny to boot.
Lol
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