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Single, childless and nearing 40, I saw one real option
CNN ^ | 04/25/2017 | Sarah Lenti

Posted on 04/26/2017 6:18:53 AM PDT by BJ1

Fast forward to my 38th birthday. I was still single, and the world of dating had changed significantly in the last eight years. Tinder and Bumble, the dominant dating apps, offered countless options for single men and women, but made the experience of dating entirely impersonal.

Dating amounted to small talk with a stranger, who you had briefly interfaced with online because you each thought the other attractive. The small talk was a prelude to hooking up, and there were no expectations even of a text the next day.

It was brutal. And after trying my hand at it, I was no closer to finding the love of my life or starting a family. If I needed statistics to back me up, I had them. In 2014, marriage was on the decline, as was the fertility rate in the United States.

I had one real option left -- and that was to attempt to get pregnant alone.

(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: ivf; lenti; sarah; singlemom
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This is a story of a woman who failed to find satisfaction in her career (without marriage and a kid, she was not happy), did serial monogamy until she nearly ran out of time to have a baby and decided to have a baby by herself.

I clicked on the story to see if the lady had any regrets and about her life choices. Didn't see it. The end of the article sheds light that she had dated many men in her past who had rejected her. She pretty much came to conclusion that she's unlovable by a man and was going to go the single mom route so she would at least have a child.

I would have liked to see her give some advice to younger women out there to avoid ending up in her situation. It wasn't there. Do you guys think her choice was okay?

1 posted on 04/26/2017 6:18:53 AM PDT by BJ1
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To: BJ1

Her choice was strictly for her. Selfish. If you haven’t met someone you want to marry and raise children with, then it’s not to be. Find something else to be passionate about which helps society and don’t bring another child into the world to be raised without two married parents.


2 posted on 04/26/2017 6:23:04 AM PDT by JudyinCanada
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To: BJ1

A pet child can be enjoyable at times.


3 posted on 04/26/2017 6:23:59 AM PDT by headstamp 2 (Ignorance is reparable, stupid is forever)
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To: BJ1

Its funny how leftists and feminists always want to circumvent or ignore biology and nature. The same human arrogance you see in “Frankenstein”.

People think they are God and play God and then are surprised at the results.

Nature didn’t intend for women to have babies at age 38.


4 posted on 04/26/2017 6:24:22 AM PDT by baltimorepoet
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To: BJ1

So sad. I didn’t know that you knew my sister! NO sarc tag)


5 posted on 04/26/2017 6:25:42 AM PDT by faucetman (Just the facts, ma'am, Just the facts)
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To: BJ1

I have a friend who has trouble with dating so she went the “married guy” route.


6 posted on 04/26/2017 6:25:55 AM PDT by AppyPappy (Don't mistake your dorm political discussions with the desires of the nation)
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To: BJ1

No it’s not okay, but her situation does deserve sympathy. I blame the men more — too many are taking sex without responsibility and take the easier option rather than marrying and supporting a family. The women need to wait until marriage as they lose out if they don’t (so they are at fault too), but I blame the men more.

Please get married people, and don’t wait until you are established. Marry when young, and as a committed team you’ll do much better spiritually, financially, emotionally, and the sex will be much better as well. Trust me I know.


7 posted on 04/26/2017 6:26:43 AM PDT by SarahPalin2012
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To: baltimorepoet

Nature intended women to have children up until menopause or they wouldn’t be able to.


8 posted on 04/26/2017 6:27:11 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (Je Suis Pepe)
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To: SarahPalin2012

Not always. My father and his first wife got married when they were young and it was an utter fiasco.


9 posted on 04/26/2017 6:29:06 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (Je Suis Pepe)
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To: BJ1

As a kid who grew up without a father, in the 50’s and 60’s, I will tell you 1st hand that this kid will hate her for being so selfish when she/he grows up................................


10 posted on 04/26/2017 6:29:48 AM PDT by Red Badger (Profanity is the sound of an ignorant mind trying to express itself.............)
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To: BJ1

Find the right person at 38? It’s happened but GOOD LUCK (you’ll need it). If at 18 to 25 with a truly massive pool and regular exposure to it you put off finding your “gem” till 30 something. ..well...sheese!


11 posted on 04/26/2017 6:31:10 AM PDT by TalBlack (Evil doesn't have a day job....)
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To: BJ1

See box wine and cats in her future


12 posted on 04/26/2017 6:31:37 AM PDT by 2banana (My common ground with terrorists - they want to die for islam and we want to kill them)
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To: BJ1

Tinder and Bumble were the exact WRONG approach. Several of my friends founds wives in their 30s and 40s through catholicsingles.com (all three in stable marriages with children 10 to 16 years later).

The authoress gives no indication of what she was interested in putting into a marriage. Our great-grandparents had it closer to right. Traditional roles with the husband being the head of the household (and more than a ceremonial head) works best. Financial sacrifices have to be made by all, especially when children come into play, and children are expected to come in due time for most couples if you don’t try to impede it. Stories like hers and worse are the fruits of ubiquitous contraception and the sexual revolution.


13 posted on 04/26/2017 6:32:10 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics.)
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To: BJ1

Dating is very tough - especially if you’re a woman with religious values and custom. A lot of guys think that buying you a drink entitles them to free, unattached sex. Brutal. Glad I finally found the right guy. But what I went through!


14 posted on 04/26/2017 6:33:01 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: BJ1

She gave up family for career and then when her clock had just about run down, desperately grasped for family.

A woman really needs to be married by about 22. Family first, plenty of time for career later. Career can wait, but in most cases family cannot.


15 posted on 04/26/2017 6:33:16 AM PDT by John O (God Save America (Please))
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To: BJ1

Get a kitten, honey...


16 posted on 04/26/2017 6:34:07 AM PDT by who knows what evil? (Yehovah saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.com)
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To: SarahPalin2012

Please get married people, and don’t wait until you are established. Marry when young, and as a committed team you’ll do much better spiritually, financially, emotionally, and the sex will be much better as well. Trust me I know.

*****************************************************

The Surprising Benefits of Marrying Young
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2015/07/06/the-surprising-benefits-of-marrying-young/


17 posted on 04/26/2017 6:34:23 AM PDT by Qiviut (Obama's Legacy in two words: DONALD TRUMP)
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To: fieldmarshaldj

I would say it is still better to marry young like the “greatest generation” did. Having kids late in life brings a lot of trouble when you’re just slowing down. It’s not for everyone, of course.


18 posted on 04/26/2017 6:35:12 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: JudyinCanada

Here’s a choice: save virginity for your husband on your wedding night.Accept Christ as your Saviour and ask Him to show you His will for your life.


19 posted on 04/26/2017 6:35:13 AM PDT by jimbug
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To: BJ1
But why didn't I adopt? After all, even if I were fortunate enough to have a child, the child would be fatherless. And many, myself included, believe this places the child in a precarious situation. That said, at least with IVF my potential child would be biologically related to me, his or her grandparents and cousins. The child might not have a father, but he or she would have a strong bloodline. I hoped this would help ease any future struggle for my child.

WTF? Is she a eugenicist???? Why didn't she adopt? I actually have some sympathy for her. She didn't find love at an early age and pursued a career. A lot of women do that. But then wanted a baby and was confronted with a dating world that was alien to her and scary. So I get that she wants a child and probably has a lot to offer to a child, but the solution seems to be to adopt.

20 posted on 04/26/2017 6:36:57 AM PDT by Opinionated Blowhard ("When the people find they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.")
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