Posted on 05/05/2017 5:56:55 AM PDT by sodpoodle
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, eventually, I remember the important things.
Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit
by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into
deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve
even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but
while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).
Definition
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London
and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted
over 5 minutes.
The final question was: How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand? Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.
Here is his astute answer:
When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong
woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong
one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!!!
He won a trip around the world and a case of 25 year old Scotch.
Getting really old sucks.
Prescient words...
After Christmas vacation, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.
One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Stayyoung Bay in Florida where everyone lives in nice little houses, and so they don’t have to mow the grass anymore!
They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags because they don’t know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts!
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night - early birds.
Some of the people can’t get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.
PRICELESS!
Remember to send this to all your “retarded grandparent” friends and give them a laugh too!
ENJOY LIFE NOW...IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!
That is still not allowed.
You should write
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.
The barber replied, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.
Unless you are Trump, in his own restaurant. The steak police were horrified by his addition of ketchup to his steak.
The worst part about getting old is the number of funerals you have to attend for the loved one going before you. I’ve buried my parents, my mother in law, then my wife and most recently my brother with good friends and acquaintances scattered in between. It’s tough.
Not when you consider the alternative...
...depending on which way you're going, of course!
I am so sorry
That’s great!
I had a cousin who lived with us for a couple of years and ate his steak with ketchup. My father absolutely forbid it. John refused to eat his steak without it so whenever we had steak John had a hamburger.
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