Posted on 09/22/2017 4:50:05 AM PDT by sodpoodle
I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?" I looked at her, and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator.” She didn't quite know how to respond.
Am I getting to be that age?
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So I'm wearing my garage door opener.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it 'Pumping Rust.'
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it's for company!”
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write,‘An ambulance.'
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ' The' and ' IRS ' together it spells 'Theirs...'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
May you always have Love to Share, Cash to Spare, And Friends who Care.
Is Missionary Sex just praying for it, then?
Not to steal your thunder but record players or should I say “turn tables”, as record players are often big and bulky & sometimes a piece of furniture(in the day) along with vinyl, are making a resurgence.
Ran into a millennial with a brain the other day while filling out Gym info.
Where it said tel number of e-merge contact I said I didn’t have one and he said,”No problem we just call 911”
I liked the response
Oh I walked into a salon and the lady asked me if I would like a haircut. I looked at a replied “no, just the grey ones.” Stunned her for a minute.
They say your the first sign of getting old is forgetting things. I can’t remember what the second sign was...
They say the first sign of getting old is forgetting things. I can’t remember what the second sign was...
It’d easier being a funny old man than a funny young man.
And Doggy Style when you dress up your chihuahua for a morning walk?
And the punch line should have been..."Here's your sign."
True. But I'd like to think that I paved some of those roads for others to follow.
"Here's your sign."
The second sign is when you double post on Free Republic.
The second sign is when you double post on Free Republic.
Works every time.
Last weekend, I lost/misplaced my Red Sox baseball cap. A 2004 World Series edition. I looked everywhere I had been and could not find it. Oh well.
So, while we were out doing errands and such, I stopped in to a Salvation Army Thrift store and found a pristine KC Royals blue ball cap for 2 bucks. It served its purpose.
Less than 1 hour after we returned home, my wife had found the Sox cap. Thus proving the theorem.
Yup. One day you are young and full of energy, the next day you're bald, you're paunchy, all kinds of sounds are emanating from your body twenty-four hours a day.
LOL
I had a typo in the first post, so I posted again without the typo the second time.
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