Megyn Kelly Today, Today: 'Have You Ever Been Attacked By a Wild Cougar?'

Jezebel ^ | 10/16/2017 | Bobby Finger

[nikos1121]

Welcome to Megyn Kelly Today, Today, a new daily column in which we will share the most memorable things that happened on Megyn Kelly Today every morning until we are no longer able to watch Megyn Kelly Today without feeling like there will be no tomorrow. ·Megyn Kelly walked onstage in a tan suede dress.

·Megyn Kelly began by discussing Mayim Bialik’s terrible op-ed, which she hated.

·Megyn Kelly said some things that made the audience applaud.

·Megyn Kelly discussed the outrage against Woody Allen.

·Megyn Kelly said, “There was a very scary moment for passengers on an Air Asia flight yesterday. Raise your hand if you’re afraid of flying!”

·Megyn Kelly said she’s afraid of flying.

·Megyn Kelly told a horrifying story about an Air Asia flight suddenly dropping 20,000 feet while holding back laughter.

·Megyn Kelly said she wanted to discuss this airplane incident a little more, and said, “Who better to ask than Matt Lauer?”

·Matt Lauer shared that he, too, thought that introduction was bizarre.

·Megyn Kelly said, “You want cheery? I’ve got cheery. There’s a new study about emojis...”

·Matt Lauer said Savannah Guthrie loves emojis and that he hates them.

·Megyn Kelly said her favorite emoji is 😳. [See above.]

·Megyn Kelly said that if you get a text from her containing a lot of emojis that she’s probably been drinking.

·Megyn Kelly began a story by saying, “So there was this cougar on the loose in Mississippi...”

·Megyn Kelly rolled this video:

·Megyn Kelly asked Matt Lauer, “Have you ever been attacked by a wild cougar...?”

·Matt Lauer responded, “Have I ever been attacked by a wild cougar? No! I probably wouldn’t be sitting here if I’d been attacked by a wild cougar...”

·Matt Lauer revealed that he’d been kicked in the butt by a llama.

·Megyn Kelly said, “I knew there’d be gold in them thar hills.”

·Matt Lauer proceeded to tell a story about how the first time he met Megyn Kelly “six, seven years ago” that she had a “chocolate scone” in her teeth the whole time. “And I didn’t say a word to her the entire time.”

·Matt Lauer revealed that he eventually told her at the end of their hour of chatting, which both Megyn Kelly and Bobby Finger found rude.

·Megyn Kelly said, “That is messed up!”

·Megyn Kelly and Matt Lauer laughed and laughed!

·Megyn Kelly said, “That was a harbinger of our relationship to come. Radical honesty, too late. Good to see you Matt. Lots of love.”

·Bobby Finger asked aloud, “Are they flirting?”

·Megyn Kelly welcomed astronaut Scott Kelly to the stage and revealed that, gasp, he wrote a book!

·Megyn Kelly said, “I still see our...astronauts as heroes.”

·Bobby Finger said, “Still?”

·Bobby Finger said, “Scott Kelly reminds me of Ed Harris.”

·Scott Kelly said astronauts listen to nature sounds while in space.

·Scott Kelly spoke about his sister-in-law Gabby Giffords’s shooting, and that he was initially told she had died.

·Scott Kelly talked about his “near death experience” in space.

·Megyn Kelly introduced Scott’s girlfriend Amiko Kauderer, who also works at NASA.

·Megyn Kelly asked if there are any “lasting effects” from spending a year in space.

·Scott Kelly said his vision was affected, and that he briefly “stretched” to a new height, but that he eventually “squished” back down.

·Megyn Kelly said, “Coming up, from Growing Pains, Joanna Kerns is here!”

·Megyn Kelly welcomed Joann Kerns, but not before rolling some tape!

·Joanna Kerns is now a successful TV director on shows like Pretty Little Liars, Grey’s Anatomy, The Goldbergs, and This Is Us.

·Joanna Kerns came to the stage to discuss her diagnosis with breast cancer, as well as her recent double mastectomy.

·Joanna Kerns introducers her doctor, Dr. Kristi Funk, who recommends 3D mammograms.

·Megyn Kelly asked, “How are you now?”

·Joanna Kerns said, “I’m great.”

·The audience applauded.

·Megyn Kelly said, “Good for you. Lots of love.”

·Bobby Finger said, “Lots of love is her new thing, I guess.”

·Megyn Kelly introduced today’s TRY THIS TODAY segment with a clip from Seinfeld—the one where George wears nothing but velvet.

·Megyn Kelly explained that we can wear velvet, too!

·Megyn Kelly’s fashion expert guest whose name escapes me said, “Velvet is sort of the fabric of the season.”

·Megyn Kelly’s fashion expert recommended velvet shoes.

·Megyn Kelly said, “My toes are more like fingers.”

·Megyn Kelly asked, “Should we be wearing belts?”

·Megyn Kelly’s fashion expert said, “I love belts.”

·Megyn Kelly put on the velvet gloves and asked some audience members to feel the fabric, which she seemed to love.

·Megyn Kelly said, “Up next, should you tell someone if their fly is open? Or if something’s in their teeth, Matt Lauer?!”

·Bobby Finger said, “She will not let this go!”

·Megyn Kelly welcomed a lifestyle and etiquette expert named Elaine Swann to discuss lifestyle and etiquette.

·Elaine Swann presented a series of etiquette tests.

·Elaine Swann asked if we should tell bosses their fly is open and said you should only tell them if they’re “the same sex.” If they’re the “opposite sex” you should tell a coworker of the boss’s sex and ask them to tell the boss, otherwise you could get sent to HR?????

·Bobby Finger screamed, “WHAT??????”

·Elaine Swann asked if we should take our cell phones to the dinner table.

·Elaine Swann said yes, we can take our cell phones to the dinner table, but not to put them on the table.

·Elaine Swann said we should only to use the phone at dinner if it’s part of the conversation.

·Elaine Swann asked if it’s OK to touch a pregnant friend’s stomach.

·Most of Megyn Kelly’s audience said it was fine.

·Elaine Swann said to “ask first” before touching anyone.

·Megyn Kelly said not to touch anyone’s belly, regardless of whether or not you ask.

·Bobby Finger agreed.

·Megyn Kelly spoke with Hoda and Kathie Lee who bragged that Rita Wilson, Octavia Spencer, and Kelly Clarkson would be on their show.

·Bobby Finger thought it was funny that not one of those people could be spared for Megyn Kelly Today.

·Megyn Kelly Today ended.

[nikos1121]

I am starting to feel sorry for this little lady. The show wouldn't make it on any local TV station, not even Spokane, WA. They should let do her thing, instead this is like white enriched bread.

[rktman]

👹🍿🍻🚬. Thought it was in reference to a Harvey whine-stain meeting. 🐆

[Noumenon]

“Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?”

[gov_bean_ counter]

“Have you ever been attacked by a wild cougar?”

Dunno, Megyn, have you ever attacked anybody???

[Yaelle]

Ask Brit Hume.

[Safetgiver]

Have you ever seen a naked man?....Oh...Wait....dumb question.

[sauropod]

Couldn’t read through it all.

Kinda like watching a car crash.

In slo-mo.

[Lurkinanloomin]

She deserves every minute of humiliation.

(can’t believe I spent the time to read that)

[wmileo]

She was not the best talent by far on FOX NEWS. Now we can see her fail on her own.

[Tenacious 1]

Is this a sequence puzzle? I like puzzles.

[blueunicorn6]

Oh, come on!

She’d have been great on the Dialing For Dollars Afternoon Movie.

“The count is Up 6 and the amount is twenty five dollars.”

“And now back to our movie, The Rutabaga That Ate Yakima starring Bud Johnson.”

[nikos1121]

YOu must admit reading the transcript of the show is like speaking in front of an audience for an hour with nothing to talk about....

[Psalm 73]

“Have you ever been attacked by a wild cougar?”

Sounded like sexual harassment to me (but in a good way....)

[WKUHilltopper]

“Megyn Kelly Today, Today: ‘Have You Ever Been Attacked By a Wild Cougar?’”

Was Mega Smelly just testing the waters to see who was willing?

[4yearlurker]

Matt...do you like Gladiators!

[Tenacious 1]

I started to read it and had to start over a couple times. I figured I missed something. Then I thought I had had a stroke because it happened again. Then I realized it must be my severe ADD.

I quit reading and called my therapist.

[ObozoMustGo2012]

[·Megyn Kelly began by discussing Mayim Bialik’s terrible op-ed, which she hated.]

I bet more people read that op-ed that watched this sh**ty show....

[xrmusn]

Good case of ‘you made your bed now sleep in it’.
(Most)Anything bad on her she brought upon herself.

I keep getting ‘promos’ for MILFs & Cougars and I do realize that a ‘MILF’ could be in any age range, depending on ‘taste’ etc.

BUT a Cougar is supposedly an older, experienced women etc.

MY QUESTION IS

At 78, just how old (and experienced) does a woman have to be for me to be able to consider her a cougar.

BTW - I will just say no thanks .... kind of like the joke about the ‘Union Led’ House of Ill Repute which assigned the ‘ladies’ by Age and Union standing...

[Col Frank Slade]

Hey Megan, ask the lady who survived breast cancer what her favorite color is !!

[punknpuss]

“Have you ever been stung by a dead bee?”