Posted on 05/25/2020 12:12:56 PM PDT by xp38
The Bible tells us to work smarter, not harder. Or, better yet, don't work at all if you can help it. You can look it up. It's in the Proverbs somewhere.
That's why we're announcing today that we will simply be republishing everything Joe Biden says word for word rather than spending a lot of time and effort writing satire.
We at The Babylon Bee realized we were spending all this time trying to satirize Joe Biden when, frankly, he just can't be satirized. He's doing all the hard work for us with statements like "You ain't black!" and, of gun violence, that "150 million people have been killed since 2007.
"Every day is a real grind when we arrive at the sprawling Babylon Bee headquarters, settle in on our throne of Chick-fil-A sandwiches, and boot up the ol' PC to check what Biden said over the past 24 hours. We're tired of trying to out-parody things like "I got hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun and the kids used to reach in the pool and rub my leg down and watch the hair come back up again" and "Corn Pop was a bad dude."
Like, what do you do with that? Seriously. Go ahead. Try to satirize it. Anything you do just doesn't have that perfect mix of absurdity and reality that makes satire work so effective at communicating truth. So we're throwing in the towel.
We'd also like to take this opportunity to thank Joe Biden for being such a great satirical performance artist. You're the real hero, Joe. The people really need comedy in a time like this, and you're doing a great job. Keep it up!
Finally, laugh at these hilarious Babylon Bee headlines from our new best satirist, Joe Biden:
Biden: 'Poor Kids Are Just As Bright As White Kids'
Joe Biden Says All Men And Women Are Created By You Know The Thing
Presidential Candidate Nibbles On His Wife's Fingers
Joe Biden: 'I'm Going To Beat Joe Biden
'Go To Joe 30330' Says Joe
Biden Tells Campaign Rally 'We Choose Truth Over Facts'
Joe Biden Calls Iowa Man 'Fat' And A '[FLOWERBED] Liar'
You can look forward to lots more content coming from your new favorite Babylon Bee writer any moment now.
Babylon Bee is no longer satire. :D
Boom
ROFLAMO
Headline got a chuckle out of me.
That’s a one punch KO right there.
The Bee is outstanding!
It’s kind of like the progs.
What PDJT says, they say the opposite.
Whatever he is for they are against.
It suits their position on the Bell Curve.
.
Bad idea!
Insanity that is humorous is fine...
Insanity for insanity’s sake is insane...
How could they forget the ‘lying, dog-faced pony soldier’ remark?
LOL!
Now that is funny!
Babylon Bee is no longer satire. :D
No ! It is, as described by both Ace and Glenn Reynolds, the new paper of record.
That should be quite hilarious considering Biden cannot formulate a coherent sentence
The Babylon Bee is funny. And better at writing than the journalist at the NYTimes..
The Bee should offer Biden a position as a staff writer.
lol
In the Navy I asked for aviator suns. They come in sizes down to two mm distance. I failed.
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