Posted on 02/06/2023 10:19:24 PM PST by Jim Robinson
I'm still flat on my back. The pressure sores that sent me to the hospital are almost healed, but still too painful for me to spend much time in my power chair, so I spend all my time in bed. The nurse says the wounds are now just superficial, and should be healed very soon. I do have a new spot on my bottom and on my back, but they haven't become sores yet. Hoping to spend more time in my chair each day until completely healed and to prevent more sores on my back.
My hands and arms are already very weak from muscular dystrophy and they're even weaker now after lying in bed for six months. A physical therapist is working with me on range of motion exercises to get my arms stronger again. And that's very painful, but has to be done.
I can't type on the computer while lying in bed, so I'm using speech recognition software to control the computer. The software allows me to navigate by clicking on any link on a page using voice commands. I can do almost any function using voice commands, like opening/closing files, tabs, etc. I can also click on a reply button and enter short replies, however it's almost impossible to enter anything more than just a few words, because the software makes many errors and it takes a long time to clean that up. Consequently, if I have a long post to enter, I have to call Chris in to type it in for me, as he's doing right now.
But I can do most functions in maintaining the website, and the abuse system. So I spend a lot of time now reading and bumping threads to breaking or frontpage news, and handling the abuse reporting system. One thing I cannot do is cut and paste. For example, when I receive an abuse report and a true title needs to be copied from a source, I need to call in Chris to do it for me. Chris has been a real trooper. Not only is he my primary care provider, but he's been doing all my banking/bill-paying/bookkeeping as well as my entire job while I was in the hospital, and a thousand other chores since I went to the hospital.
For about a week before going into the hospital, I was in a lot of pain. I couldn't focus on my work, couldn't eat, sleep, sit/lay in my chair for very long without excruciating pain. I was also constipated for an entire week, and I knew I was in trouble.
The evening before going into the hospital, I asked Chris and John to lift me into bed because I was in so much pain. But even in bed, there was no relief. I kept calling the boys in every five minutes or so to adjust my position, but I still couldn't get relief. They became concerned, so they decided to take me to the VA emergency room.
In the VA, they suspected that I had blocked bowels and were considering surgery. They put tubes in me to feed me and take out the waste. They also found that one of the pressure sores had gone all the way through to the bone, and that I had a sepsis infection. I don't remember very much about that period, because I was literally out of my mind. These things were told to me later.
Chris says that for the first couple weeks, the VA wouldn't allow visitors or anybody to even talk/see me. This hospital had very strict rules because of Covid. John, Chris, and Amy even considered getting a lawyer so that they could talk to me. The VA finally relented, and allowed them to visit me so they could find out what was going on - they literally had absolutely no idea what was happening to me.
I was pretty much out of it that first week and couldn't remember much, but I remember talking to the surgeon and some doctors. They were actually considering surgery for my blocked bowels, but then they decided let's try an enema. Sure enough, cleared that shit up! No surgery was required.
I also remember I couldn't sleep in that first week, and they were begging me to go to sleep, but every time I drifted off I had a repeat of some recurring nightmares. While I was having these nightmare, I knew they were nightmares, but couldn't wake myself up. I knew how they began and how they ended. And once one began, I couldn't wake myself up until it went all the way to the end.
One of the nightmares concerned a pit bull that was released in the hospital, and I could hear him running from room to room, attacking people and chomping on their bones. I knew when he got to my room (which he never did), he'd start chomping on my feet first and work his way up.
Another recurring nightmare was about being in a hospital run by terrorists, and it had a public side and back side. On the public side, they were nice as can be and took real good care of you. But on the back side, they were mean as hell and liked to torture people.
I also became very paranoid, and while slipping in and out of delirium. I had suspicions about being in a government hospital with government employees. I described some of this to John, and he said, "I don't know what they have you on man, but you are loopy!"
They started feeding me broth, and couple days later soft foods like Jello and ice cream. The best part about being in the hospital is ice cream.
There's a lot more to add, but I'll cut this short. The good news is I'm healing. The bad news is it's going to take a bit more time, but we'll get there.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and continuing support.
God bless.
Very sorry about the pain and misery you have been in for so long. Best wishes for your recovery/healing.
Jesus said "I am The Way"
He turns our worries into calm
I'm offering this heartfelt prayer to Him
"Lord, please supply the healing balm" !
Leni/MinuteGal
Jim: Thank you for all you’ve done for America. You’ve given a voice to so many who want to save our country from the destructive forces of liberalism. God bless you. May He heal you and give you many more years to fight the good fight.
Now that! That right there! That deserves repeating! {;^)
You certainly have a solid hold on the Anti-MAGA's Public Enemy #2 slot.
Prayers for you Jim.
I have started praying for you in earnest again daily my dear friend Jim.
I pray that God will give you that peace that passes all understanding and that Jesus will continue healing you in a mighty way.
He is the Great Physician and the healer if our bodies and the Saviour of our souls.
Thank you Chris and John (and Amy) for watching over your precious father with such loving care.
We pray to our Father God in Jesus Name.
Amen
Matthew 11: “28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Praying through the thread for you, Jim. Much love!
Prayers going up for you, Jim....sending you our love.
Prayers for you!
Yea for ice cream! A healing food.
If your ears are ringing JimRob— it is just our prayers for you. XO
JR; so glad you are getting better and stronger. The memory foam might be a useful tool. Smoothing Vitamin E oil on the bed soar scars and possible new ones can help healing and reduction of scar tissue. Vitamin C taken 3 or 4 times a day can also help. The body uses Vitamins C and E to form new tissue.
I suspect the dream about the dog eating feet and legs is your unconscious coming to grips with your own loss of legs, It takes a long time to recover mentally frum such a severe loss. But you have the mental strength needed.
I gave some further thought to my comment #356. You are obviously a strong brave man, but perhaps you need to grieve for your lost legs, as for the death of a loved one.
I was in a therapy training group where we met weekly and did therapy paired with another member for several hours. One psychologist commented he was feeling quite a lot better, but he still felt he had a little gloom cloud (I can’t remember the cartoon character who had this) that was above him and followed him around all the time. We paired up that evening and I suggested he needed to have a funeral and say goodby to his little gloom cloud. He agreed so we found a dark jacket and laid it under a blanket. He then told the gloom cloud how it had comforted him during the worst parts of his childhood, but did not need it any more. He then said Goodby to it over and over, burst into tears and cried for a long, long time, almost 2 hours. The next week he came in and said the cloud was gone and he had bought the piano he had wanted to get for years.
Perhaps you and a friend, family member, or therapist could do something similar. Cover something sympolizing your lost legs with a blanket and have a funeral. Tell your legs how much they had meant to you, and how much you miss them, how much the loss hurt, but it is time to say goodby. Allow yourself to grieve as much and as long as you need. It might also be necessary to repeat this process a few times until you feel freer and no longer have this nightmare. My very best wishes for continued healing.
God Bless Jim. Prayers for a quick healing and speedy recovery.
Joe Btfsplk.
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