[Andyman]

How many gears does a French tank have?
Five. Four reverse, and one forward (in case the enemy attacks from behind).

[scooby321]

Fred Barnes said on Fox the other Night

Why do we need the French against Iraq

So they can teach them how to surrender

[prairiebreeze]

Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and an onion?

A: Nobody cries when you cut up a Frenchman

[T Minus Four]

REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH



* When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.

* Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.

* You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.

* If there's a war you can surrender really early.

* You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.

* You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.

* You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.

* Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.

* You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.

* People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

[CollegeRepublican]

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?



The Army.

[stlrocket]

Here are a whole list of them:

MANY FRENCH JOKES

But one of my favorites is:

Why did they make the folks at EuroDisney outside of Paris stop shooting off the nightly fireworks display?

Because every night, hundreds of French would come up to the gates and surrender!

[Keith in Iowa]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/832867/posts

[martin_fierro]

The French fight with their feet and f*** with their faces.

[Dan from Michigan]

French rifles...never fired, dropped once.

[T Minus Four]

Pardon My French

The finest culture
Comes from Frontz
And hoe-knee-swat-key
Molly-ponce!

Sally learned
To speak in French
She's now a dame
And not a wench

Dick acquired
That language fair
And now he's swayve
And deb-an-err

Speaking French
Will prove you're better
Show you've got a
Rays-on-debtor

Read in French
And sack-ray-blue!
You're sure to find
Your tom-pair-doo

Write in French
And you'll be famous
Just like muss-your
Albert Camus

You can bet
Your dairy-air
Your French will prove
Your salve-war-fare

He who is
A true believer
Shows his Gallic
Joyed-a-fever

French cuisine
Is all the rage
So drink Bored-O
With soft from-age

Wear a little
Black beret
And eat cross-ants
With French calf-A

Then there's all
That art you know
So speak bow-czar
And art-new-foe

And what a joy
To smoke Get-tans
While watching films
That come from Cans

I guess it's not
An easy job
To be a phony
Stuck-up snob...

Such games in Frontz
They also play
But there "c'est snob"
To speak anglais!

[Georgia_JimD]

THERE ARE LIMITS TO MY INSENSITIVITY (From Neil Boortz)

Yes, believe it or not, I do actually have some limits.  After writing that little bit about the insipid French I decided to go on the web to see if I could find that article P.J. O’Rourke wrote for National Lampoon Magazine about 20 or so years ago.  It was called “Foreigners Around the World.”  It is, buy far, the more racist, bigoted, insensitive, offensive and hilariously funny bit I have ever read in any magazine any where at any time. I can remember about 20 years ago sitting around and reading this article to some friends.  We would start laughing so hard that our eyes would water and our sides would ache.  I think I even broke a rib once.

No … I won’t post a link to that article here.  I don’t have the guts.  My insensitivity is limited here by a strong sense of self-preservation.  I will, however, share with you some edited versions of what P.J. O’Rourke had to say about the French and the Germans.

 

The French  Racial Characteristics: Sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. They take filthy pictures of each other with cheap cameras, wash nothing but their _____, fight with their feet, and perform sex acts with their faces. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language. Good Points: Invented the ____job

The Germans Racial Characteristics: Piggish-looking, sadomasochistic automatons whose only known forms of relaxation are swilling watery beer from vast tubs and singing the idiotically repetitive verses of their porcine folk tune-both of which amusements probably hark back to a prehuman state. Germans have never been successfully Christianized. Their language lacks any semblance of civilized speech. Their usual diet consists almost wholly of old cabbage and sections of animal intestines filled with blood and gore. Once every two or three decades, they set forth, lemming-like, on pointless military adventures during which great numbers of them are slaughtered-much to the improvement Of the world in general. Their lardy women have long, tangled masses of sticky hair under their arms, and the men shave the sides of their heads. Good Points: Kill a lot of French

.

No … absolutely not.  I am NOT going to post the link.  You're on your own. 

[Michael.SF.]

I thought this was a forum to have intelligent conversations regarding the world of politics and those issues that are important to us all.

I did not think that it would deteriorate to the point that it has.

Frankly the French have many wonderful and unique qualities. Rather than list them here for all of you, just go here and see for yourself:

A True Frenchmen

[KC_Conspirator]

bump

[Gatún(CraigIsaMangoTreeLawyer)]

How many French troops does it take to defend Paris?

No one knows. It's never been tried.

[VRWCmember]

Check out this Google search:

[Moosefart]

An Englishman and a Frenchman were out walking in the country. The Englishman spots a calf with its head caught in a fence. The English chap runs over and starts to bugger the helpless animal. The Frenchman is watching this and the Englishman says...You look excited mate care to try it out? The Frenchman says "OH OUI !!!!!"
The Frenchman then runs over and sticks his head in the fence. Bwah ha hah ha!

[petuniasevan]

[Savage Beast]

This is one of my favorites, even though everybody's already heard it. It appears in a number of versions and is attributied to a number of people. I like it because it manages to zap the Canadians, the French, the Brits, and the Americans all in one joke:

Canada has had access to British political knowledge, French culture, and American know-how. It wound up with British know-how, French political knowledge, and American culture."

[GATOR NAVY]