Post your Jokes about France Here!!

Vanity Press & My Fertile Mind | 1/30/2003 | moi

[Keith in Iowa]

Post your jokes about France and their support or lack thereof in the Iraq situation - if it's from the media, include where you heard it or saw it.

[Keith in Iowa]

Here goes:

FoxNews Channel - Big Show viewer letter used as a bump to commercial(not an exact quote): Magazine ad - For Sale, French Military Rifle. Never fired, dropped once.

On the raido - forgot who: After the fireworks at EuroDisney, a whole company of French Army soldiers tried to surrender.

FoxNews Channel, Fred Barnes on Brit Hume's show: The only reason we'd need France to help in Iraq is to show them how to surrender.

Post away...

[DKNY]

What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered during WWII? "Table for One Hundred Thousand?".

[DKNY]

Okay, so it's not exactly what you are looking for, but I find it amusing...:)

[Keith in Iowa]

That works too...any & all jokes are welcome...

[smith288]

How can one conceive of a one party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheeses?

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.

France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can't tear the toilet paper.

I got a cab in Paris. The driver smelled like a guy eating cheese while getting a perm inside the septic tank of a slaughterhouse.

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

Paris is like a whore, from a distance she seems ravishing, you can't wait until you have her in your arms. Five minutes later you feel empty, disgusted with yourself. You feel tricked.

A fighting Frenchman runs away from she-goats.

[Between the Lines]

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? A. The French Army.

Q. What do you do if you see 90,000,000 dead french-men? A. Stop laughing and re-load!!

Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."

[sheik yerbouty]

I've heard that French politicians kiss babies before they're born......D'ya know how the French hold their liquor; by their ears! ....I know, I am a sikh man...

[Commander8]

Q. What's the biggest health hazrd related to French kissing?
A. Warts on the toungue.

[petuniasevan]

[Old one]

Why did the French plant sycamore trees along the Champs Elysees?

Because Germans prefer to march in the shade.

[rightwingreligiousfanatic]

[balrog666]

How do you perform the Official Military Salute of France?

[Raise both hands to the sky]

[bayoublazer]

Looking at Frances' position on Iraq, I now know why frog legs taste like chicken.