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Top 10 Ways To Get The Office Babe
askmen.com ^
| 12/04
| shawn croft
Posted on 03/07/2005 11:49:09 AM PST by pissant
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They forgot that stalking always works wonders....
1
posted on
03/07/2005 11:49:10 AM PST
by
pissant
To: pissant
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her.
2
posted on
03/07/2005 11:52:26 AM PST
by
b4its2late
(This is like deja vu all over again.)
To: b4its2late
I saw that on a bumper sticker...
3
posted on
03/07/2005 11:53:22 AM PST
by
pissant
To: pissant
Try to coordinate it so you finish at the same time.ahem!
4
posted on
03/07/2005 11:54:59 AM PST
by
The_Victor
(Calvin: "Do tigers wear pajamas?", Hobbes: "Truth is we never take them off.")
To: b4its2late
A friend of mine says it this way: "Show me a hot chick and I'll show you a guy who's tired of f*****g her."
To: pissant
6
posted on
03/07/2005 11:56:05 AM PST
by
Fierce Allegiance
(“Every time a system is made foolproof - a new class of fool emerges.”)
To: The_Victor
7
posted on
03/07/2005 11:56:20 AM PST
by
pissant
To: b4its2late
As told to me years back:
My buddy married the hottest girl from school. She had remained very attractive. Buddy 2 said "I'll bet you bang her EVERY night." Buddy 1 said that he probably yanks thecrank just as much as any other married guy.
Moral of the story - I don't know, I'm just relating a story I heard.
8
posted on
03/07/2005 11:58:34 AM PST
by
Fierce Allegiance
(“Every time a system is made foolproof - a new class of fool emerges.”)
To: pissant
Must be true then.... LOL.
9
posted on
03/07/2005 11:59:16 AM PST
by
b4its2late
(This is like deja vu all over again.)
To: pissant
8. Bump into one another as you leave Try to coordinate it so you finish at the same time. Be subtle though. If you can time it so you both leave the office simultaneously, then you can walk from work, a perfect opportunity to get to know the women better and determine whether or not she even knows you exist.Just to be clear here, this doesn't mean deliberately physically bump into her. That creeps women out.
10
posted on
03/07/2005 11:59:19 AM PST
by
xm177e2
(Stalinists, Maoists, Ba'athists, Pacifists: Why are they always on the same side?)
To: Fierce Allegiance
11
posted on
03/07/2005 12:01:23 PM PST
by
b4its2late
(This is like deja vu all over again.)
To: pissant
as long as you do not show her your aces. lemme understand this. if you're not the best looking guy in the office, exactly what are your "aces?" If you're independently wealthy, you wouldn't be working there. If you were the boss, you wouldn't have to do anything special to "win" her...
12
posted on
03/07/2005 12:02:00 PM PST
by
the invisib1e hand
("remember, from ashes you came, to ashes you will return.")
To: pissant
You forgot to note that you excerpted this from Bill Clinton's book....
/sarc OFF
13
posted on
03/07/2005 12:03:01 PM PST
by
The Spirit Of Allegiance
(ATTN. MARXIST RED MSM: I RESENT your "RED STATE" switcheroo using our ELECTORAL MAP as PROPAGANDA!)
To: pissant
that's a toughie.... But always worth the effort. Practice, practice, practice.
14
posted on
03/07/2005 12:08:57 PM PST
by
The_Victor
(Calvin: "Do tigers wear pajamas?", Hobbes: "Truth is we never take them off.")
To: the invisib1e hand
If you ain't the office hunk, I guess you're SOL.....
15
posted on
03/07/2005 1:00:23 PM PST
by
pissant
To: pissant
One of our luminaries shared his most effective pickup line:
"Does this rag smell like chloroform?"
Stalking is probably a lot slower.
Me find that sharing part of a dead squirrel works well in the canine world, as does smelling like rabbit poop...well...it worked the last time I was allowed out of the Official Muttly Compound unescorted...a long, long time ago.
Hope this helps.
16
posted on
03/07/2005 1:08:21 PM PST
by
PoorMuttly
("I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom")
To: pissant
I've had good luck just sitting quietly and licking my eyebrows.
17
posted on
03/07/2005 1:08:23 PM PST
by
bayourod
(Unless we get over 40% of the Hispanic vote in 2008, President Hillary will take all your guns away.)
To: bayourod
ROFLMAO... you crack me up.
18
posted on
03/07/2005 1:58:44 PM PST
by
RedBeaconNY
(The greatest mystery to man, is man himself.)
To: pissant
I suppose I should weigh in on this soberly. Getting the office "babe" is a really, really bad idea as long as you work there.
19
posted on
03/07/2005 2:33:33 PM PST
by
the invisib1e hand
("remember, from ashes you came, to ashes you will return.")
To: pissant
Of course, following any of this advice has probably a 50/50 chance of leading you into a sexual harassment lawsuit (which you will lose).
20
posted on
03/07/2005 2:35:44 PM PST
by
kevkrom
(If people are free to do as they wish, they are almost certain not to do as Utopian planners wish)
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