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Should I Tell My Husband Our Last Child Isn’t His?
The Root ^ | June 27 2014 | DEMETRIA L. LUCAS

Posted on 06/27/2014 2:36:24 PM PDT by nickcarraway

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To: nickcarraway; 185JHP; 230FMJ; AKA Elena; APatientMan; Albion Wilde; Aleighanne; Alexander Rubin; ...
To tell or not to tell.

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21 posted on 06/27/2014 2:53:31 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Drew68

I agree - the family would never be the same if SHE told so SHE felt less guilty.


22 posted on 06/27/2014 2:53:58 PM PDT by bboop (does not suffer fools gladly)
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To: nickcarraway
His best friend and I had a one-night stand two years ago

Sadly, I've never married........But if I had, I would have never cheated on my wife......no matter what.

If I had found out she screwed my best friend, I would have simply packed my bags and moved out.........no argument, no yelling and screaming, no nothing.

There also would have been no reconcilliation, and no marital counseling...........

As for my ex-best friend, win or lose, at least I would have gotten in the first punch and left him something to remember for the rest of his life...........

23 posted on 06/27/2014 2:54:54 PM PDT by Hot Tabasco (By now, everyone should know that you shoot a zombie in the head. Don't try to reason with them...)
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To: nickcarraway

Why isn’t she asking her if the best friend knows he has a child?


24 posted on 06/27/2014 2:55:17 PM PDT by DainBramage
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To: GeronL

I agree - her confession would be a selfish act, to relieve HER guilt at the expense of her innocent husband.


25 posted on 06/27/2014 2:55:45 PM PDT by bboop (does not suffer fools gladly)
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To: bboop
I would recommend a dna test before coming clean.
26 posted on 06/27/2014 2:55:59 PM PDT by VaRepublican (I would propagate taglines but I don't know how. But bloggers do.)
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To: The_Republic_Of_Maine
true, especially w/ any hidden medical conditions..heart/genetics

27 posted on 06/27/2014 2:56:10 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a weapon...0'Jihadist/"Rustler" Reid? d8-)
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To: nickcarraway

My advice to the stupid self destructive drama queen is to keep her stupid mouth shut and have a dna test done first. Maybe she’s right, but she could also be wrong because she’s wracked with guilt, fear and paranoia.

She could easily destroy her child’s relationship with her father over a phantasm created by guilt.

And then, if the test shows she’s right, she should still keep her stupid mouth shut and be the best wife and mother she can be in repentance.


28 posted on 06/27/2014 2:56:24 PM PDT by Valpal1 (If the police can t solve a problem with violence, they ll find a way to fix it with brute force)
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To: Drew68
As a husband and father, I wouldn't want to know. I would prefer to be blissfully ignorant.

I totally agree as long as your wife has remained faithful...

I just don't think our family could ever recover from the hurt, anger and resentment that would ensue.

Some things are simply not worth it...

Coming clean would destroy a marriage, a father daughter relationship and an intact family...

Let her live with her guilt...

29 posted on 06/27/2014 2:56:26 PM PDT by Popman ("Resistance to Tyrants is Obedience to God" - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: bboop

For most people who are unfaithful... everything is always about them. It makes sense. She wouldn’t be telling him to make things better for her family in anyway. She thinks it would just clear her conscience. And really, it won’t. She’ll always know what happened... and if it breaks up her family when she tells him and hurts her kids... then she’ll have to live with that too. And she can spend the next few years telling her sad tale of woe to people she meets on Match.com.


30 posted on 06/27/2014 2:58:21 PM PDT by kjam22 (my music video "If My People" at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74b20RjILy4)
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To: trisham

My view is that the husband has the right to know and decide if he wants to spend his life with this unfaithful woman, or not.


31 posted on 06/27/2014 2:59:09 PM PDT by chesley
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To: Popman

I guess the question is genetics...are there diseases that could erupt or things like diabetes that are considered inherited...so if she dies ....who would be able to explain it if the husband does not know. Doesn’t the child need to know eventually who their real father is?


32 posted on 06/27/2014 3:00:02 PM PDT by Kackikat
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To: The_Republic_Of_Maine

I once dated a teacher who told me that two of her students who were “dating” found out they both had the same sperm donor father.


33 posted on 06/27/2014 3:01:25 PM PDT by Tea Party Terrorist (Why work for a living when you can vote for a living?)
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To: MNDude

LOL, an old one but a cold one!


34 posted on 06/27/2014 3:02:16 PM PDT by bigbob (The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly. Abraham Lincoln)
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To: TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig
Let the secret be your penance....you suffer and everyone else lives in peace...

Because secrets aren't forever, sooner or later the truth will be discovered........and then what?

Will the discovery of your partner's infidelity be lessened simply because you found out 10, 15 years later? And if so, what assurance do you have that your partner wasn't also screwing around for the past 10 or 15 years with other people?

Marriage is based on total trust, and if that trust is broken just once, where is the guarantee that it won't or hasn't been broken again?

35 posted on 06/27/2014 3:02:29 PM PDT by Hot Tabasco (By now, everyone should know that you shoot a zombie in the head. Don't try to reason with them...)
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To: nickcarraway

What really matters is who is being the father to the child, not who donated the sperm.


36 posted on 06/27/2014 3:03:02 PM PDT by cornfedcowboy
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To: Jacquerie
You beat me to it! But I'm going to post it anyway.

I remember a series where the husband had no clue that the neighbor was involved with the wife. . . .

37 posted on 06/27/2014 3:04:01 PM PDT by WilliamofCarmichael (If modern America's Man on Horseback is out there, Get on the damn horse already!)
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To: Drew68

You’re right about your family probably not surviving such a revelation, but you’re wrong to think it would survive with you not knowing. The truth is always best.


38 posted on 06/27/2014 3:04:13 PM PDT by freedomfiter2 (Brutal acts of commission and yawning acts of omission both strengthen the hand of the devil.)
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To: Dallas59

Sure...Tell him. Put all that guilt on his shoulders. Ghandi once said, when he was told people near him were betraying him, “I don’t want to know, then I must carry this on my mind and shoulders.”

I love this, when people want to tell you that they’ve been unfaithful....

Hey...grow up. You made the mistake you live with it, and keep inside. IF I were you husband, and you told me this, I would have a difficult time accepting it.

On the other hand... “for richer, for poorer, for better for worse...” Maybe you should read my book...

http://www.amazon.com/Bed-fails-laugh-laughter-love-ebook/dp/B00KZ2DI84/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1402960960&sr=8-1&keywords=the+bed+by+nikos


39 posted on 06/27/2014 3:04:31 PM PDT by nikos1121
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To: Kackikat

Telling the husband now is cruel. It has nothing to do with him. She and the ‘friend’ can carry that guilt. That is their penance.


40 posted on 06/27/2014 3:08:02 PM PDT by firebasecody (Orthodoxy, proclaiming the Truth since AD 33)
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