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DUmmie FUnnies 12-28-04 PM Edition ("Forget Kerry... He's forgotten us- RANT")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 28, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 12/28/2004 6:00:56 PM PST by PJ-Comix

A few of the DUmmie Lemmings, following the tunes played by Pied Piper Pitt on his flute, have suddenly discovered that it is playing a sour note. Despite the promises that SOMETHING WONDERFUL would happen this week with Kerry’s signature placed on an obscure legal paper filed in Ohio by the Greens and Libertarians, NOTHING has happened. What little coverage this has gotten on the media was on Keith Olbermann’s show and he only mentioned it to discredit its importance. So now some DUmmies are realizing that, much to their surprise, Kerry WON’T be inaugurated this January. You can read the DUmmie anger directed at Kerry in this THREAD titled, “Forget Kerry... He's forgotten us- RANT.” We lead off this thread with a RANT against Kerry by DUmmie HeyManThatsCool. As usual the DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Forget Kerry... He's forgotten us- RANT. In my mind, John Kerry is the ultimate two faced schmuck. I worked my ass off for the Kerry Edwards campaign, contributed tons of $, and contributed to the GELAC fund. I feel like my contributions (and millions of others) were all for naught... because Kerry has no FIGHT in him…

[I disagree with your description of Kerry as a two faced shmuck. I would describe him as a horse faced shmuck.]

I'm angry about it! During the election when people were calling him a flip flopper I always defended him. But you know what? HE IS A DARN FLIP FLOPPER!!! He cant even get in on the election fraud problems right. He's all over the friggin place. What's with that? I dont think he's fighting at all FOR US.. I think he is covering his own ass so that he can run again in 2008. Fat chance that I'll support that. Fool me once.....

[Can I assume that you won’t be attending the vigil in front of Kerry’s townhouse?]

And yes- I DO feel like a dam fool for being so supportive. I was out there on the front lines every single day. I've been telling everyone I know about the voter fraud issue. And wheres Kerry? No clue. Seems like only the Greens & Indys are standing up…

[Where’s Kerry? Have you checked the snow boarding slopes of Aspen?]

I hope someone with genuine integrity, conviction, spunk, maturity and common sense runs in 2008. Someone who isn't soley interested in being big man on campus. Someone who doesn't view everything through a PR view finder. Someone who doesn't walk away from a fight- and a necessary one at that- because they dont want to f up their chances of future presidential runs…

[Hillary?]

If no Dem comes up in 08 that rings true I guess I have a few choices... Green, Independent--- or just not bothering to vote at all. Obviously all votes AREN'T created equal.. and aren't counted that way. And so far no dem (Aside from Maxine Waters) is fighting for us IN A REAL AND VISIBLE WAY.

[Maxine Waters---Rumored to have cracked a smile in 1974.]

If he had any "fight" in him... where is he? Why is he ignoring all of this?

[Because he is busy snuggling up with Teresa, his Love Bunny.]

I give him until Jan. 6th to show his mettle. If he stands for democracy then I will coninue my support. If he fails to do so then I am through with him as a national candidate and also through with the Democratic party as well.

[Goodbye Democrats. Hello Socialist Workers Party.]

Even the staunchest Kerr y supporters will let loose a flood of rage IF Kerry and the rest of the Dem party doesn't stand and fight on Jan. 6th! Kerry has NO CHANCE of winning anyones vote of confidence EVER again if he does not stand up for democracy. Keep in mind though, we should feel the same about EVERY Democratic Senator and Representative who does not do his/her duty on Jan. 6th! I still have some hope left in me that he will do his duty. He has always liked doing the dirty work behind the scenes. These are the thoughts I have included to EVERY Senator I have written or emailed since this mess began. I think many others are doing the same. America is a hugely populated country. Even if the "nutcases" like us only amount to 20% of the population, that is a HUGE number of people. The Dems can't possibly think that if this many people can believe election fraud occurred, in such a short period of time, with virtually NO media coverage whatsoever, this movement will not continue to grow to proportions enormous enough to cause a serious crisis in this country.

[A great moment of self-realization there when you described you and your cohorts as “nutcases.”]

It's almost as if Kerry is just doing enough to make those of us who feel there were legitimate result-changing problems think he's actually doing something when, in reality, there isn't a whole lot you can point to that shows Kerry is helping our cause.

[So when did you finally wake up from your coma?]

He didn't attempt to "preserve the crime scene." He didn't ask to confirm the accuracy of voting machines that produced multiple voter complaints on public records. He didn't establish a vigilant presence in the continuation of the vote count. He says nothing while Blackwell makes a sham out of the Democratic process with blatant criminal behavior. He didn't establish and re-establish his expectations about the process of counting (and Recounting) the votes. He didn't talk about the vote suppression and the long lines that were factually based. He hasn't responded to new information about voting problems since his premature concession.

[Maybe Kerry should have surrounded the state of Ohio with a yellow police tape. Or is that Chrysto’s shtick?]

All of you- think for a minute! Go back to Nov 2. Remember the feeling of that day! The momentum. The positivity. The upward shift. Kerry was even writing his acceptance speech. People were ebullient! And then..... the bottom fell out. It is inconceivable to me that Bush won in any way that was on the up and up. I just don't buy it.

[You forgot to mention that the DUmmies were gloating.]

I cried when Kerry conceded. I was depressed and upset and disgusted by *s so called "mandate". I was happy and excited to get a glimmer of hope upon finding out about the election fraud. And ecstatic in the realization that there was a distinct possibility that Kerry would claim victory after all. The past 7 weeks have been an emotional roller coaster and I've spent it waiting and watching for some good news, some great news, some fabulous news.

[Keep waiting...and waiting and…]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; flatearthers; johnkerry
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The DUmmie FUnnies have definitely become the #1 Humor Blog on the ENTIRE Web in a course of just 3 months. The proof of this statement lies in the fact that in that time, the DUFUs grew from ZERO to the BIGGEST PING List in the history of the FR. If you are a literary agent or book publisher, you can get in on the book form (with CD-ROM) of this Web phenomenom by contacting me at PJ-Comix.

It is easy to get regular updates of the DUFUs. Simply ask to be placed on the PING List.

1 posted on 12/28/2004 6:00:57 PM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


2 posted on 12/28/2004 6:02:03 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

"Because he is busy snuggling up with Teresa, his Love Bunny."


Oh man, does that conjure up a visual!

In the words of my 6 year old niece:

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!


Seriously, PJ, VERY well done--again!


3 posted on 12/28/2004 6:05:19 PM PST by fastattacksailor (The US without the UN is like not having your mother-in-law with you on your honeymoon)
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To: PJ-Comix

I'm praying that you get this book off the ground.
I would love to see it.


4 posted on 12/28/2004 6:05:57 PM PST by netmilsmom (God send you a Blessed 2005!)
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To: PJ-Comix
[Maxine Waters---Rumored to have cracked a smile in 1974.]

And has looked like she smells a pungent, perpetual fart ever since.


5 posted on 12/28/2004 6:07:35 PM PST by rdb3 (Can I join the Pajamahadeen even if I sleep in the nude?)
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To: PJ-Comix
Hold your horses It just could be that Kerry is waiting for positive fraud proof before going forward, collecting evidence quietly. This is the best way to do it otherwise the media would distort and destroy it. This is the same method any good lawyer or prosecutor uses. How would Kerry look to the majority of Americans if he was running around spouting off accusations that couldn't be proven?

Keep hope alive! BELIEVE! This lull is part of Kerry's brilliant strategy of lulling the Republicans into a false sense of security by permitting the Inauguration to go forth before asking the really hard-hitting questions.

The Truth Is Out There.

6 posted on 12/28/2004 6:08:52 PM PST by Petronski (Don't ask me about my pneumonia...it's making me very cranky.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Someone who doesn't view everything through a PR view finder. Someone who doesn't walk away from a fight- and a necessary one at that- because they dont want to f up their chances of future presidential runs…

I'll bet if I looked through Unfit for Command by the Swiftees I could find a quote to match that, almost word for word. Now, of course the Swiftees were talking about a real fight and these hosers are just babbling about their delusions, but...

HOW DOES IT FEEL, LOSERS? THE "EVIL" SWIFT BOAT VETERANS FOR TRUTH KNEW KERRY WAS A SELF-SERVING COWARD THIRTY YEARS AGO!!!

7 posted on 12/28/2004 6:09:09 PM PST by timpad (The Wizard Tim - Keeper of the Holy Hand Grenade, Finder of Obscurata)
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To: PJ-Comix

Hope sure seems to spring eternal over there, doesn't it?


8 posted on 12/28/2004 6:10:45 PM PST by NRA1995 ("Yew jes' go and lay yore hand on a Pittsburgh Steelers fan & Ah think yer gonna fin'lly understand")
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To: PJ-Comix
You find it in every one of these articles you post: The point where the DUmmies are disappominted because they FELT Kerry won. No facts, just...they FELT it.

Does it occur to any of them that Kerry maybe, just maybe, is smarter about the situation than they? That just maybe he knows that he didn't win?

Also, it's funny to see how betrayed they feel when all along they've known Kerry pocketed so much cash for next time. I mean, this guy could have won it all if he just sunk some of that $15 mil into Ohio. (Of course, then the DUmmies would say he's not the real winner because he didn't win the popular vote...right? Suuuuure. That's DUmmie integrity for ya.)

P.S. If you want an agent, you gotta work up a proposal and query letters. They ain't comin' to you--and you may have trouble getting an agent with material that's mostly other people's comments on a website. I am really enjoying your posts, though, so thanks.

9 posted on 12/28/2004 6:10:54 PM PST by Darkwolf377 (Atheist against Chrsitian-bashing)
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To: fastattacksailor

"Because he is busy snuggling up with Teresa, his Love Bunny."


"Oh man, does that conjure up a visual!"


Almost conjured up a bit of vomit as well.


10 posted on 12/28/2004 6:12:00 PM PST by cripplecreek (I come swinging the olive branch of peace.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Brings a smile to my face watching them admit to what Kerry is and what we have known all along.

I sure hope they follow through on their threat to vote green,etc or not at all but I suppose they won`t.

11 posted on 12/28/2004 6:12:32 PM PST by carlr
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To: PJ-Comix

"OH, I Do believe in election fraud! I do! I do! I do!...but Kerry doesn't, so Kerry is SLIME!! I can't think about election fraud existing only in the twiddled minds of DUer's! I can't! I can't! I can't! Kerry is SLIME!"

-a preview of tomorrow's FUnnies.


12 posted on 12/28/2004 6:12:49 PM PST by whereasandsoforth
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To: PJ-Comix
[Hillary?]


13 posted on 12/28/2004 6:13:05 PM PST by b4its2late (Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Hillary's from hell. Deal with it.)
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To: PJ-Comix

'Maybe Kerry should have surrounded the state of Ohio with a yellow police tape. Or is that Chrysto’s shtick?'

good one! Long ago, you told us you were encouraged by a movie theater manager to shout out your fresh retorts during the movies...did you get free popcorn, at least?


14 posted on 12/28/2004 6:14:36 PM PST by bitt (what a maroon.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Fool me once.....

And once again, and one more time, and yet again, and once more, and another once, and one more time, and once again, and once more...but ya won't fool him twice, by golly.

I still have some hope left in me ....

And that's what keeps the FU in DUFU.

It's almost as if Kerry is just doing enough to make those of us who feel there were legitimate result-changing problems think he's actually doing something when, in reality, there isn't a whole lot you can point to that shows Kerry is helping our cause.

Nooooooooo! Don't start being rational! It's your neverending delusion and utterly nonsensical belief in the Pied Piper Pitt that create such merriment and mirth on this side of the aisle!

15 posted on 12/28/2004 6:15:20 PM PST by shezza
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To: PJ-Comix
I hope someone with genuine integrity, conviction, spunk, maturity and common sense runs in 2008. Someone who isn't soley interested in being big man on campus. Someone who doesn't view everything through a PR view finder. Someone who doesn't walk away from a fight- and a necessary one at that- because they dont want to f up their chances of future presidential runs…

ROFLOL If they would just take a look around this person is describing Bush.

16 posted on 12/28/2004 6:16:17 PM PST by notpoliticallycorewrecked (God Bless our military)
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To: PJ-Comix
The following continues to drive me stark raving mad: Since 85% of the DUmmies can easily provide testimony on how they voted twice or know someone who voted twice, why the heck do they continue to swim around trying to claim that Bush committed fraud?

What? They cheated so they should have won? The self-blindness has got to be the hallmark of the DUmmies. Besides, they always tick me off - Democracy shall never be forced underground.
17 posted on 12/28/2004 6:16:27 PM PST by kingu (Which would you bet on? Iraq and Afghanistan? Or Haiti and Kosovo?)
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To: PJ-Comix

Weren't they supposed to hold a vigil outside Kerry's Boston home? How'd that work out? Did Lurch have his manservant release the hounds on them?


18 posted on 12/28/2004 6:17:56 PM PST by Welsh Rabbit
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To: PJ-Comix

I love the Dummies, they are all legal experts. A few of them have finally figured out in order to file a lawsuit based on fraud, you must actually point out what the fraud was. Many of them are scratching their heads wondering why Kerry hasn't been declared President yet, afterall they filed a lawsuit.


19 posted on 12/28/2004 6:18:05 PM PST by Always Right
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To: PJ-Comix
[Because he is busy snuggling up with Teresa, his Love Bunny.]


20 posted on 12/28/2004 6:19:56 PM PST by Always Right
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