Posted on 03/24/2006 2:44:14 PM PST by John Semmens
The sleeping pill Ambien appears to unleash primitive desires to eat in some patients. It’s even been linked to unconscious food forays that cause these hapless souls to wolf down thousands of calories in the wee hours.
Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) asserts that he is one of those “hapless souls.” “For years I have been plagued by nightmares where I have this sensation of drowning,” said Kennedy. “I have taken Ambien to help me sleep. Over this same time period I have become grotesquely obese. Once I was a svelte heart-throb, able to establish close working relationships with my staff—especially the young campaign volunteers. Now I am bloated and repulsive. The manufacturers of Ambien have got to be made to take responsibility for this ugly turn of events.”
Kennedy says his lawyers haven’t yet put a dollar amount on the damages. “The loss to me and to the nation—I might’ve been president, you know—has been incalculable,” said Kennedy.
It is rumored that Kennedy is thinking of using his plight as a launching pad for a presidential bid. Political strategist Dick Morris, a former advisor to Bill Clinton, pointed out the possible leverage for Kennedy. “With the majority of Americans being overweight, Kennedy may tap into a potentially large sympathy vote,” said Morris. “A ‘we’re fat, but it’s not our fault’ campaign would exploit the Democrats’ basic vision of voters as victims. As an admitted fellow victim, Senator Kennedy would more effectively embody this ideal.”
“The important issue here is justice,” said Kennedy. “Should a company be permitted to simply walk away from the harm it has caused without having to bear any consequences?”
In related news, Kennedy relative Michael Skakel will appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court in a bid to overturn his conviction in the 1975 murder of his 15-year-old neighbor Martha Moxley. Skakel’s lawyers argued that his crime is no worse than some of those committed by members of the U.S. Senate. “If the high-and-mighty go free, so should the low-and-pathetic,” said Skakel’s attorney Howard Piffle. “A 1975 murder is ‘old news.’ We say forgive and forget.”
read more at...
http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm
Hey, I've also read that Ambien can cause sleep driving. THAT must have been what caused Chappaquiddick! Yeah, that's it!
A bullet would end your nightmares Teddy... if you had the guts. ;)
Don't blame it on the drugs, Teddy. That's your nagging conscience calling.
Anyone else remember that?
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