Semi-News: Chavez Planning to Blow up Oil Fields

AZCONSERVATIVE ^ | 22 Apr 2006 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez says that his government is considering blowing up his country's oil fields. Speaking to other South American leaders, Chavez pointed out that by blowing up Venezuela's oil fields supply would be further reduced putting upward pressure on prices.

"We will accomplish two goals," said Chavez. "First, by raising the price of oil we strike a blow at the U.S. imperialists and their running dogs. Second, the oil in the ground will become more valuable increasing the wealth of our country."

Chavez's political opponents have called this idea "idiotic." "The blow Chavez intends to strike against the United States will be much more harmful to Venezuelans," said Hermano del Calle. "Our people are poor. Oil revenues help ease the pain of poverty. Destroying these revenues to spite the Americans is idiotic."

Calle admitted that Chavez's plan might make political sense since many Venezuelan voters are also idiots. "This moron is an elected moron," said Calle. "Idiots are his political base. Unfortunately, there are too many of them in our country."

Venezuela is the world's fifth-largest oil exporter and one of the biggest suppliers to the U.S. market.

[MJY1288]

LOL, Why don't he assassinate himself, so we won't have to do it? :-)

[Dallas59]

GOOD! Maybe he can ask for our help?.......WHOOPS! You mean that wasn't an oil refinery we blew up but the Presidential Palace...Whoops!

[rawcatslyentist]

He actually got the idea when Seditious Cindy Shehadi was working on his oil rig!

[Awestruck]

""First, by raising the price of oil we strike a blow at the U.S. imperialists and their running dogs."

wait.. I thought the US imperialists WERE running dogs.. dang commie slang, I can't keep up!

[M. Espinola]

"LOL, Why don't he assassinate himself, so we won't have to do it? :-)"

Capitol idea!

[nopardons]

He's insane!