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DUmmie FUnnies 08-16-06 (DUmmies Fantasize About A President Al Gore Paradise)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 16, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 08/16/2006 1:38:41 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

Remember the movie, It's A Wonderful Life?. In it the James Stewart character was allowed to see how miserable things would have been for his home town if he had never been alive. The DUmmies are now doing just the opposite. They are fantasizing about what a WONDERFUL paradise we would now be living in if only Al Gore had become President in 2001 as you can see in this DUmmie FANTASY titled, "Finish the following sentence... If Al Gore were president..." In the REAL reality, it is like Paradise Lost for the DUmmies. All their frustrations can be traced back to Al Gore LOSING back in 2000 and it has been downhill for them ever since. So let us now indulge their fantasies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if he would have been on Karenna's dance ticket at the 2000 Gore Inaugural Ball, is in the [brackets]:

Finish the following sentence... If Al Gore were president...

[I'll give it a try as soon as I quit laughing.]

If Al Gore were president, all the US soldiers and Iraqis killed in Bush's Iraq adventure would be alive today. Mind-blowing to think about it, isn't it?

[If Al Gore were president, we would still be debating whether to institute economic sanctions on the Taliban. Mind-blowing to think about it, isn't it?]

911 would not have happened.

[Yeah. The terrorists would have been so humbled by the awesome presence of President Al Gore that the thought of perpetrating 911 would never have occured to them.]

9/11 would NOT have happened.

[Another DUmmie chimes in with the same fantasy.]

No 9-11 scale attack would have happened.

[When it rains DUmmie fantasies, it POURS.]

we would either be driving electric high-breads or Smart cars, ...the nation would be building an intra and interstate mass transit system based on magnetic levitation trains, cold fusion electrical generation would be a reality, the federal debt would be two thirds paid off, America's standard of living would have advanced to almost total elimination of poverty and hunger, America would have a national health care insurance program for everyone and the republican party would have all but disappeared.

[Everybody would be driving around in clean energy hovercraft and the EVIL Republicans would have voluntarily jumped into a giant quicksand pit.]

nothing of the last 5 and 1/2 years would have happened. gutting of or social programs, tax cuts wouldn't have happened, at least until the debt was paid off and it would have under the policies of an Al Gore Administration. the only problem with all this is I have to come back to reality and face the music of now.

[Tax cuts wouldn't have happened. Taxes would have been RAISED. Isn't that just wuuuunderful!!!]

Life would be wonderful!!! I wouldn't have to apologize to my grandkids for the horrid world I'm leaving them, and we wouldn't be banging our heads against the wall at all the incredible events that we have before us, today. Just think of all the citizens of the world who would still be living.

[Life would be wuuuuunnnnnderful!!! Even our doo-doo wouldn't stink!]

. . . . the Kyoto Accord would be seen as the first step . . . toward a solution to global warning.

[The Kyoto Accord would have limited the hot air emissions from Al Gore's mouth.]

I would be looking into earning a Bachelor's Degree after I get my Associate's Degree. I would have the confidence that I could possibly get a damn job after graduating AND continue my education.

[I wouldn't be drooling like a moronic loser blaming his personal failures on Bush.]

If Al Gore was president, I would be able to use the Pell Grant and probably other educational incentives to become a teacher (community college, not K-12) or anything else I wanted to become. As it stands now, I'll be lucky to get a 2 year degree at all, much less try for a 4 year degree. And I'll be lucky if I can find a damn job at all.

[As it is now, you'll be lucky to cross a street without drenching yourself in self-pitying drool.]

My House Wouldn't Be So Filthy

[And your body odor would be tolerable.]

The angels would not be weeping.

[The Jason Leopolds would not be leaping.]

...I would be sleeping better at night.

[Your constipation would be cured.]

Many of my friends and fellow citizens would still be alive in New Orleans

[Katrina would have swerved away from the Gulf Coast under a President Al Gore.]

The whole world would be a better place!

[The WHOLE UNIVERSE would be just hunky-dory!]

Social Security would be in a lock box safe from the pork stained hands of the Bushites.

[Would prosthetic crotch enhancers also be in that lock box?]

the after affects of the whore Katrina wouldnt have existed. Period.

[Katrina wouldn't have even existed. Period.]

California and the rest of the west wouldn't keep burning every year. We would have had systems installed to contain the fires or strips of land converted to be used as fire breaks or both.

[There would have been automatic sprinkler systems in the middle of the wilderness and FREE gumdrops for all!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: algore; dummies; gore2008; manbearpig
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WOO! HOO! Thanx to info forwarded to me, I have found out that I CAN use DUmmieFUnnies.Com in a URL and still use the services of Blogger.Com. I should have known about this before but, hey, live and learn. This will enable me to print up DUmmieFUnnies.Com stuff including Li'l Beaver T-Shirts.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 08/16/2006 1:38:47 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


2 posted on 08/16/2006 1:41:12 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
Finish the following sentence... If Al Gore were president...

...it would be super cereal.
3 posted on 08/16/2006 1:41:37 PM PDT by cripplecreek (If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?)
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To: cripplecreek
Manbearpig would know his days are numbered.
4 posted on 08/16/2006 1:43:18 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (The man who said "there's no such thing as a stupid question" has never talked to Helen Thomas.)
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To: PJ-Comix
we would either be driving electric high-breads or Smart cars

Can I have my high-bread with butter and honey?

5 posted on 08/16/2006 1:46:29 PM PDT by mnehring (When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will soon follow.)
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To: PJ-Comix
911 would not have happened.

LOL! What a joke, absolute joke.

In fact the truth is Algore was president:

...we would all be on a prayer rug five times a day.

6 posted on 08/16/2006 1:47:15 PM PDT by KC_Conspirator
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To: PJ-Comix

Top Ten?


7 posted on 08/16/2006 1:49:15 PM PDT by AxelPaulsenJr (Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.)
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To: PJ-Comix

tOP 10?


8 posted on 08/16/2006 1:49:57 PM PDT by OSHA (Lose money FAST playing penny stocks. Ask me how!)
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To: PJ-Comix
California and the rest of the west wouldn't keep burning every year. We would have had systems installed to contain the fires or strips of land converted to be used as fire breaks or both.

WHAT?!

9 posted on 08/16/2006 1:50:34 PM PDT by Not A Snowbird (Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
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To: PJ-Comix

10


10 posted on 08/16/2006 1:51:54 PM PDT by NeoCaveman (The biggest blog of the Ohio governor race http://blackwellvstrickland.blogspot.com)
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To: PJ-Comix

Better not show the DUmmies this:

http://www.thredgold.com/tealeaf/060816.pdf

Truth about how great our country is will melt their fragile neurons.


11 posted on 08/16/2006 1:52:29 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Why does our government "of the people" do things the people don't want--overtax & overregulate us?)
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To: PJ-Comix
Finish the following sentence... If Al Gore were president...

the DUmmies would still be blaming Bush for everything.

12 posted on 08/16/2006 1:52:37 PM PDT by Argus
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To: SandyInSeattle

10?


13 posted on 08/16/2006 1:53:18 PM PDT by rightinthemiddle (Without the Media, the Left and Islamofacists are Nothing.)
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To: SandyInSeattle

I would like to see what kind of magic they intend to create these "fire breaks" with. Keep in mind these are DUmmies who are against disturbing the tiniest grain of sand.


14 posted on 08/16/2006 1:53:54 PM PDT by cripplecreek (If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?)
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To: PJ-Comix
. . . . the Kyoto Accord would be seen as the first step . . . toward a solution to global warning socialism.
15 posted on 08/16/2006 1:54:24 PM PDT by proud_yank (Socialism - An Answer In Search Of A Question For Over 100 Years)
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To: PJ-Comix
electric high-breads

Electric high-breads? Is that what you get when you fire up the bread machine with some dough, some yeast, and just a pinch of The Demon Weed With Roots In Hell?

16 posted on 08/16/2006 1:54:47 PM PDT by steve-b ("Creation Science" is to the religous right what "Global Warming" is to the socialist left.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Katrina would have swerved away from the Gulf Coast under a President Al Gore.

No, I think the DUmmie Fantasyland thinking is: Gore would have solved and eliminated global warming by now. Global warming causes all hurricanes, you know. So, with no more global warming, Katrina never would have even formed! Kumbaya, my Gaia, kumbaya.

17 posted on 08/16/2006 1:55:25 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Why does our government "of the people" do things the people don't want--overtax & overregulate us?)
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To: PJ-Comix

I think the stupidest person in that thread was the one saying Bore would have convinced the UN to occupy Iraq. Yeah, I see that happening. Except they ran away when one guy was killed.


18 posted on 08/16/2006 1:55:42 PM PDT by Democratshavenobrains
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To: PJ-Comix

California and the rest of the west wouldn't keep burning every year. We would have had systems installed to contain the fires or strips of land converted to be used as fire breaks or both.




In fact, it is the envirowhackos who have prevented proper
forest management, like removing dead wood that creates massive fires.


19 posted on 08/16/2006 1:57:35 PM PDT by doug from upland (Stopping Hillary should be a FreeRepublic Manhattan Project)
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To: PJ-Comix
Another gem:

Gore would have done right by us and the countries overseas. Therefore we would have less terrorism. Gore wasn't threatening to other countries.

20 posted on 08/16/2006 2:00:00 PM PDT by steve-b ("Creation Science" is to the religous right what "Global Warming" is to the socialist left.)
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