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Prisoner Says He Is Being Starved
AZCONSERVATIVE | 3 May 2008 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/08/2008 3:10:21 PM PDT by John Semmens

A man awaiting trial on a murder charge is suing Benton County, Arkansas, complaining that the “skimpy rations” he has been fed in the county jail caused him to lose more than 100 pounds during eight months in jail.

“I used to be a sturdy 400-plus pounds,” Laswell boasted. “Now, I’m practically skin and bones. It’s cruel and unusual punishment.”

Laswell is being assisted in his suit by the ACLU. “This is but another sorry example of the pattern of torture and abuse that has overtaken the U.S. penal system under the Bush Administration,” said ACLU spokesman, Bertram Petty. “Starving prisoners is the kind of thing you expect in a Nazi concentration camp, not in America. It’s a clear a violation of the 5th Amendment.”

Jailhouse meals provide an average of 3,000 calories a day, according to jailer, Capt. Hunter Petray. A typical American diet consists of 2,000 to 3,000 calories a day.

Laswell has been charged along with a co-defendant for fatally beating and stabbing a man, then setting his home on fire.


TOPICS: Food; Government; Health/Medicine; Humor
KEYWORDS: bushsfault; euphoria; jail; obesity; satire; torture

1 posted on 05/08/2008 3:10:23 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

link...

http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm


2 posted on 05/08/2008 3:11:46 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

LOL

BTTT


3 posted on 05/08/2008 3:13:25 PM PDT by indcons
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To: John Semmens

Let’s see, he’s suing Benton County, Arkansas, so I’m guessing it’s a county jail. Then his ACLU snake blames President Bush for the penal system. Hmmmm.


4 posted on 05/08/2008 3:15:37 PM PDT by Andyman (The truth shall make you freep.)
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To: John Semmens

He used to be over 400 lbs. He’s lost about 100 lbs. Somehow, I doubt the remaining 300+ qualifies as “skin and bones.” He’s probably just panicking because he can see his feet for the first time in years.


5 posted on 05/08/2008 3:16:08 PM PDT by Hoffer Rand (0bambi: the audacity of hype)
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To: John Semmens

It’s not right!

Prisoners are fed 3,000 calories a day? What? So they can be strong enough to pump iron and lift weights and gain muscle mass so they can eventually be released only to be able to better beat people up?

Prisoner diets should be restricted to 1750 calories.

Yours truly,
The Woim


6 posted on 05/08/2008 3:16:59 PM PDT by The Woim (Agitate for social change: Abolish gun laws! Abolish the Dept of Education! Encourage succession!)
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To: John Semmens
“I used to be a sturdy 400-plus pounds,” Laswell boasted. “Now, I’m practically skin and bones. It’s cruel and unusual punishment.”

If he's 7' 5"...I might shed a tear.

7 posted on 05/08/2008 3:17:43 PM PDT by Osage Orange (Hillary's heart is darker than the devil's riding boots.................)
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To: John Semmens

Onion? ;)


8 posted on 05/08/2008 3:17:52 PM PDT by Fundamentally Fair (There was once consensus that the world was flat.)
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To: John Semmens
Laswell has been charged along with a co-defendant for fatally beating and stabbing a man, then setting his home on fire.

IF guilty....he's lucky he's not swinging from a very sturdy rope.

9 posted on 05/08/2008 3:18:58 PM PDT by Osage Orange (Hillary's heart is darker than the devil's riding boots.................)
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To: John Semmens

Is this by Scott Ott???


10 posted on 05/08/2008 3:21:48 PM PDT by pillut48 (CJ in TX --Soccer Mom and proud Rush Conservative with no dog in the presidential race now *sigh*)
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To: John Semmens

11 posted on 05/08/2008 3:23:23 PM PDT by iowamark
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To: 8mmMauser

Euphoria ping... ;-)


12 posted on 05/08/2008 3:23:40 PM PDT by TheSarce (Why is John McCain running as a Republican? Just to torture us?)
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To: pillut48

I’m surprised when people ask this question on John’s threads. John Semmens is a fellow FReeper who writes exquisite satire. I’m a big fan (and have been for some time now).

Check out his previous threads - it’s worth the effort.


13 posted on 05/08/2008 3:24:03 PM PDT by indcons
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To: John Semmens

Well, in Arkansas, I suppose he would be considered skinny!

Funny stuff.


14 posted on 05/08/2008 3:25:40 PM PDT by HankArcher ("When freedom expands to mean freedom of instinct and social destruction, then freedom is dead")
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To: Osage Orange
IF guilty....he's lucky he's not swinging from a very sturdy rope.

Even at a Milan runway 300 pounds, his neck might still snap.
15 posted on 05/08/2008 3:26:08 PM PDT by ZX12R
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To: indcons

So is the story for real, if he writes satire? :-)

I’ll try to check out previous posts by Mr. Semmens when I get a chance! :-)


16 posted on 05/08/2008 3:29:32 PM PDT by pillut48 (CJ in TX --Soccer Mom and proud Rush Conservative with no dog in the presidential race now *sigh*)
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To: iowamark

Dude oughta be paying the jail for helping him lose the weight instead of complaining!! His health is surely improving as well!! Some of those ‘fat farms’ out there charge an arm and a leg for what he’s getting for ‘free’! :-)


17 posted on 05/08/2008 3:30:38 PM PDT by pillut48 (CJ in TX --Soccer Mom and proud Rush Conservative with no dog in the presidential race now *sigh*)
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To: pillut48

Unfortunately, unless he gets the death penalty, he’s going to be eating on the taxpayers’ dime for many, many years.


18 posted on 05/08/2008 3:34:19 PM PDT by iowamark
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To: John Semmens

People pay a lot of money to go to fat camps to lose weight like that! Arkansas should rent out cells in their jails to fat people who want to lose weight!.


19 posted on 05/08/2008 3:39:46 PM PDT by passionfruit (When illegals become legal, even they won't do work American's won't do)
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To: pillut48

The story is semi-real/semi-satire.


20 posted on 05/08/2008 3:49:35 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Maybe being so fat his heart will give out first .... then his family can sue for NOT putting him on a diet ....


21 posted on 05/08/2008 3:59:52 PM PDT by SkyDancer ("I Believe In The Law Until It Interferes With Justice")
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To: passionfruit
Or this could be another reality series that I would not watch.......
22 posted on 05/08/2008 4:03:02 PM PDT by Kimmers
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To: John Semmens; TheSarce
Pinged from Terri Dailies

8mm


23 posted on 05/08/2008 4:26:06 PM PDT by 8mmMauser (Jezu ufam tobie...Jesus I trust in Thee)
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To: John Semmens

Once upon a time, it was common for a ‘jail-house lawyer’ to file endless petitions about all sorts of grievances just to occupy his time and annoy his jailers. Now we have the great ACLU joining them, gee, what a step forward for justice!


24 posted on 05/08/2008 4:28:19 PM PDT by SES1066 (Cycling to conserve, Conservative to save, Saving to Retire, will Retire to Cycle.)
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To: indcons

(Shhhhhhh....you’ll spoil the surprise)

~</;o)


25 posted on 05/08/2008 4:37:56 PM PDT by EggsAckley
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To: ValerieTexas

:’D Low-carbine diets can be tricky.


26 posted on 05/08/2008 5:40:55 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/_______________________Profile updated Monday, April 28, 2008)
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To: AdmSmith; Berosus; Convert from ECUSA; dervish; Ernest_at_the_Beach; Fred Nerks; george76; ...

[burp!]


27 posted on 05/08/2008 10:14:58 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/_______________________Profile updated Monday, April 28, 2008)
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To: SunkenCiv

In another time and place, he could be competing with Jared to appear in Subway ads.


28 posted on 05/09/2008 2:55:50 AM PDT by Berosus (Supports the troops, bring them home -- from the Balkans.)
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To: Berosus

Hey, if the guy hadn’t been 400 pounds to begin with, he’d have made a clean getaway, and wouldn’t be in prison. He’s probably mad that he’s lost all that weight and isn’t eligible for a spot on a reality TV show.


29 posted on 05/09/2008 9:39:05 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/_______________________Profile updated Monday, April 28, 2008)
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