Posted on 06/17/2008 10:28:06 AM PDT by mnehring
(full title) The GOP Mark On This Beast Gross Animal Abuse; PETA Notified; I Am Not A Republican!; And Am Having No July 4th Party…
The email message begins with an insulting slander — a strange way to solicit a donation. It is from Sue Gazdo, Director, RNC Membership Services, Republican National Committee. She even ends it “Sincerely” which, I fear, she, alas, is. The insulting, slanderous greeting? The email begins with these words:
“Dear Republican.”
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Say what?!
But, I am not a Republican!
I am a recovering Republican - meaning not that I am a Republican who’s “recovering” from something. No, no Mssssssssssss. Gazado. I am a recovering Republican meaning that I am recovering from having been, at one time, a Republican!! which, thank God (literally,) I no longer am!!
This email goes on to ask me to — just in time to celebrate our Nation’s independence - “meet Sam, the new member of the Republican National Committee” who is “embroidered with the official logo of the RNC.” Sam, it is said, is decked out in red, white and blue “and is sure to be the hit of your July Fourth party.”
Well, now. (A) I am having no July Fourth party because there are too many things I hate about what our once-great Christian country has become. And (B) if I were to have a July Fourth party, the last thing on God’s green earth I would display at this get-together would be a stuffed animal bear “embroidered with the official logo of the RNC.”!! In fact, I would rather be eaten by a bear, slowly, while still fully conscious, than have anything around me anywhere that would remind anybody of the Republican Party!
And yes, Mssssssssss. Gazado, you may take what I say here as a “NO!,” meaning that I will not be sending you at least $35 for “Sam,” as you say I must to get “Sam.” And if I am not sending you $35 for “Sam,” I am certainly NOT sending you $110 for other “Republican collectibles” you offer — Max, Maxine, and Patrick! Yes, I know, and am sure you are telling the truth, when you say these other different-colored stuffed elephants “are wonderful plush toys.” Fine.
But, it’s what you go on to say next that assures I will not even consider purchasing Max, Maxine, and Patrick. Bad enough that you viciously maligned me as “Dear Republican.” But then, right after mention Max, Maxine, and Patrick, you say - adding insult to the injury of your open greeting - that these three different-colored stuffed elephants would “make a perfect gift for your favorite Republicans.” And you conclude by thanking me for my “continuing support” of the GOP in “this critical presidential election year.”
T’is to laugh, Msssssssssssssss. Gazado. Then t’is to be outraged!
My “favorite Republicans?!,” Mssssssssss. Gazado!?
Certainly you jest.
I have no “favorite Republicans” - an oxymoron, if ever there was one. By definition, if one is a “Republican,” one is disqualified from being my “favorite” anything! As for my “continuing support” for the GOP, such an assertion demonstrates that you do, at the very least, have a sense of humor, sick though it may be - and is. My support for the Republican Party, moral and financial, is and always will be, zero, zip, zilch, nada, aught, a cipher, a goose egg, naught, nil, nix, none, nonexistent. Got it? I hope so.
As for “Sam,” I have notified the PETA people of his abuse — this abuse consisting of him being labeled (literally) a Republican. My recommendation: Liberate him or euthanize him. Better death than permanent association, in any way, with the Republican Party.
Of course, this comes from the same person who I read complained that congress ended a prayer with "In God's Name" instead of "In Jesus' Name".
Ping, thought you could use a laugh.
Is this writer on drugs? If not, perhaps his writing would be more lucid if he was on drugs.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go zoom in and out of the FR homepage just because I can.
LoL, that feature may actually make me switch from Opera to Firefox.
Hmmm, looks like the shrinks still haven’t gotten his meds right.
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