Posted on 12/14/2008 2:11:33 PM PST by pharmamom
He will not stop making biscuits on my belly. I shoo him away; back he comes. I smash him down flat on my lap; he pops back up and starts kneading. He is purring loudly enough to wake the dead, too. Maybe I smell bad or something. Cats are truly inscrutable. Which is probably why Jonah Goldberg doesn’t like them. You always do know where you stand with a dog. The Goldberg household is getting a feline inhabitant; Jonah is going to do a contrast and compare of Cosmo and the cat. Well, I can give him a few points right now:
Dogs are collectivists, with (unsurprisingly) the most important members of the collective getting the best stuff. Cats are individualists and entrepreneurs (Tiger is always out making his own way in the world).
Dogs are always hanging about, wanting to know what you are up to. Cats are libertarians; they don’t care what you do, so long as you don’t interfere with their business.
Dogs are populists; they like everyone and everything. Dogs want to share everything. Cats are particular and discriminating.
Dogs enjoy the welfare state. You have to wash them, feed them, clean up after them, pet them and constantly reassure them that they’re loved. Cats are frontiersmen, pioneers. They find their own food, bury their own poop, bathe themselves and enjoy their own company.
And the last word, and really, the only thing you need to know: Dogs eat cat poop.
“Given that dogs act like liberals, isn’t it odd that conservatives are such dog-lovers? I do love dogs, too.”
As Paul Harvey once observed: to your dog you are family, to your cat you are staff.
Which is line with Rush:
“Dogs have masters. Cats have servants.”
Love my kitty. Actually I have two, and there are two more begging to be part of my family...They are outside the front door, and they go in for shots tomorrow.
Cats are more like selfish, arrogant liberals. They have a boundless sense of superiority and entitlement. And they couldn’t care less about their owners except to the extent that they need some human to pamper them. Dogs are the proper pet choice for conservatives. They are loving and helpful, and they have the virtues of loyalty and gratitude (how very unlike cats). Sometimes dogs carry it too far and lick the hand that slaps them, but then, many of us conservative humans have been nothing but nice to the likes of John McCain and Bill Weld. Better a virtue carried too far than no virtue at all. Cats are elegant. So what? Katrina vanden Heuvel is, too. Also, Muslims love cats and despise dogs. I rest my case.
Cats, when they do anything actually useful, act as vermin control technicians. They do so for their own amusement and also possibly for rations or ration supplements.
Ditto here. The outside cats are in the garage at night. Both abandoned by former neighbors.
From an e-mail I received awhile ago
Excerpts from a Dog’s diary:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts from a Cat’s diary
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
another house plant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking
almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture.
This time however it included a burning foamy chemical
called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a
liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise. More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to
MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are
flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
got to be an informant, and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due
to his current placement in the metal room his safety
is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of
time......
A feral decided to bless me with herself and her kittens about four years ago. They are outside kitties. I insulted them by getting them fixed and shots. But as long as I bring food and pet them when I am allowed to, they hang around. They have a tough life. You know, mousing, taunting the dogs thru the window, coughing up fur balls on the hood of my truck and being alternately loving and disdainful.
My MaMa kittie moved out for a while. I am forced into subservience by feeding her tuna, chicken and sardines to keep her home.
My pups, on the other hand, just want to lick the containers.
I'm learning “cat”...but it isn't easy.
Ah, the joys to be found in dog v. cat talk. I love them both, as long as the dogs are large and the cats are short-haired.
And the dogs adore me...and the cats tolerate me just a little. :)
We were living in Georgia during the “storm of the century” (Mid-Nineties or so; got over two feet of snow. That’s like twelve feet to people in the South who are unaccustomed to such things.)
We lived way out in EMC-land, and knew that we’d be the last to get our power turned back on.
One of the neighbors had ordered a truckload of pulpwood and had it deposited in their backyard the year before, so it had had time to get properly seasoned.
And, neighbors being neighborly, they invited the entire neighborhood to come and take what they needed; however the “saw it to the proper length and split it yourself” rule was in effect.
And for nine days, we kept a fire going in our fireplace; we pulled the mattresses into the living room and pretty much stayed there.
And it was still COLD in the house. And, to ramble back onto topic, that was the only time that I can ever recall seeing the cats and dogs curl up together for warmth.
I’ve had dogs for 43 years. No way do they act like liberals. FREEDOM is #1 with my pups!
woof
Now I’m totally confused! I have two dogs, two cats and 50 chickens.
Just which political party am I supposed to belong to? ;)
*ping* to ancient arguement.
LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!
As for me, I’m happy to be loved by both a cat and 2 dogs. The difference is the cat thinks I should feel honored. :o)
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