Posted on 01/10/2009 10:56:34 AM PST by bloodmeridian
Dear Khaled Mashaal, Ismail Haniyah, Mahmoud Zahar, Ayman Taha, JamalAbu Hashim, Salah el-Bardawil, Mohamed Nasser, or Imad el-Alami (or whoever is in charge and receives this before getting extinguished by a smart bomb):
I extend personal greetings from the highest office of the United States (well, it will be mine in 10 days, but screw it, let’s just say I’m in charge now). I hope this letter finds you well (and with all of your limbs). I understand you may be hiding in a tunnel somewhere near the Egyptian border. If you need toilet paper, water, or Jew-eating rabbits, please let me know. I believe a merchant ship will be heading your way from Greece soon, and I’m sure they’ll be willing to drop off my package in Gaza before docking in Ashdod.
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