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Jewish Birthrate Called Impediment to Peace in Palestine
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 6 June 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/09/2009 11:24:23 AM PDT by John Semmens

Citing what she called an “abnormally high birthrate for Jews,” U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton bemoaned its impact on the Middle East “peace process.”

“If Israeli Jews reproduced at rates similar to American Jews, demographics alone would resolve the issue in a couple of generations,” Clinton asserted. “At current Jewish birthrates, though, we’ll see Jewish control of the Israeli government stretching out for centuries to come.”

Clinton suggested that “stepped up birth control measures among the Jews and opening the borders to Palestinian immigrants would help expedite a peaceful political settlement of the issue. It is the Jewishness of the Israeli state that is an anomaly and an offense to the dominant Muslim culture of the entire region. Once this is ended, Jews could live peaceably as a minority as they do in other Middle Eastern nations.”

Muslim birthrates in Israel still exceed those of Jews by 3.31 children per Muslim woman to 2.77 per Jewish woman. Since Israeli Muslims do have the right to vote, it is only a matter of time before they will constitute a majority in that country’s elections.

In related news, President Obama blamed the continued construction of Jewish homes in disputed areas of Israel for heightening tensions. “If the Jews would stop building these settlements Hamas and Hezbolah wouldn’t have to keep launching rockets to try to destroy or deter them,” Obama contended.

(Excerpt) Read more at azconserv1.wordpress.com ...


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Religion
KEYWORDS: gaza; israel; israelibirthrate; jewishbirthrate; jooooooooooooooooos; judea; palestine; peace; samaria; satire; waronterror
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1 posted on 06/09/2009 11:24:23 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Jewish Control of the Israeli Government! Gee Hillary, we can’t let that happen can we?


2 posted on 06/09/2009 11:26:21 AM PDT by dblshot
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To: John Semmens

Fire/Remove the Witchy Woman with the Forked Tongue already!

Lulz to her assertion though.
Two words for her: “Deus Vult!”


3 posted on 06/09/2009 11:26:49 AM PDT by cranked
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To: John Semmens

That statement is flat out disgusting. She is not God and has no right to tell them how many children they should have.


4 posted on 06/09/2009 11:27:03 AM PDT by Islaminaction
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To: John Semmens

Obama and Clintoon - two ignorant , malevolent anti-Jewish bigots.


5 posted on 06/09/2009 11:27:29 AM PDT by beethovenfan (If Islam is the solution, the "problem" must be freedom.)
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To: John Semmens
Muslims want a birth rate of zero and a death rate of six million
6 posted on 06/09/2009 11:27:33 AM PDT by handy old one (It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. Aristote)
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To: John Semmens

The woman’s mentally ill.


7 posted on 06/09/2009 11:30:42 AM PDT by varmintman
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This is either appalling or abysmal satire.


8 posted on 06/09/2009 11:32:10 AM PDT by villagerjoel (1. Implement socialist policies 2. ??? 3. Heaven on earth)
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To: John Semmens

Satire, although it’s getting more difficult to sort fact from fiction with this bunch.


9 posted on 06/09/2009 11:33:36 AM PDT by CASchack
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I thought violent and crazy people were an impediment to peace.


10 posted on 06/09/2009 11:33:45 AM PDT by isom35
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To: John Semmens
“If Israeli Jews reproduced at rates similar to American Jews, demographics alone would resolve the issue in a couple of generations,” Clinton asserted. “At current Jewish birthrates, though, we’ll see Jewish control of the Israeli government stretching out for centuries to come.”

There's nothing like making clear which way the Obama Administration's policies are leaning -- as if the speech in Cairo didn't make it crystal clear.

11 posted on 06/09/2009 11:36:38 AM PDT by FourPeas (Why does Professor Presbury's wolfhound, Roy, endeavour to bite him?)
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To: John Semmens
In related news, President Obama blamed the continued construction of Jewish homes in disputed areas of Israel for heightening tensions. “If the Jews would stop building these settlements Hamas and Hezbolah wouldn’t have to keep launching rockets to try to destroy or deter them,” Obama contended.

Riiiiiiight. Land for peace has worked so well thus far. </sarc>

12 posted on 06/09/2009 11:37:57 AM PDT by FourPeas (Why does Professor Presbury's wolfhound, Roy, endeavour to bite him?)
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To: John Semmens

Hildebeeste’s idea of “normal” number of children is one. That’s a recipe for social suicide.


13 posted on 06/09/2009 11:39:27 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: John Semmens

Be fruitful and multiply.


14 posted on 06/09/2009 11:45:17 AM PDT by rbbeachkid (The ONLY ones able to fix the economy - Small Business Owners!)
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To: John Semmens
"It is the Jewishness of the Israeli state that is an anomaly and an offense to the dominant Muslim culture of the entire region. Once this is ended, Jews could live peaceably as a minority as they do in other Middle Eastern nations.”

What can we expect the I-Am-God Liberals?

She thinks that an Idiocracy has now firmly supplanted the Democratic Republic in the U.S., so no one will bat an eye if she sounds like a complete imbecile regarding Israel.

15 posted on 06/09/2009 11:56:07 AM PDT by TheClintons-STILLAnti-American
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To: Islaminaction
"She is not God and has no right to tell them how many children they should have."

She dare not make similar remarks about Muslims, many of whom are fathering children by the dozens to multiple women.

What a disgrace this administration and the Democratic Party in general are.

16 posted on 06/09/2009 11:58:45 AM PDT by TheClintons-STILLAnti-American
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To: John Semmens
"Clinton suggested that “stepped up birth control measures among the Jews and opening the borders to Palestinian immigrants would help expedite a peaceful political settlement of the issue. It is the Jewishness of the Israeli state that is an anomaly and an offense to the dominant Muslim culture of the entire region. Once this is ended, Jews could live peaceably as a minority as they do in other Middle Eastern nations.”

This used to be called "Knowing your place" when applied to Blacks in the Jim Crow South.

Jews should just reconcile themselves to being a persecuted minority as they do in other Middle Eastern nations IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY!

17 posted on 06/09/2009 12:01:54 PM PDT by TheClintons-STILLAnti-American
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To: John Semmens

Good one.


18 posted on 06/09/2009 12:13:37 PM PDT by writer33 (Rush Limbaugh Is "The Passion" of Conservatism And Pretty Good At That Radio Thingy)
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To: John Semmens

Warning SATIRE Alert! At the top of the post it says “A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative”. So this is satire. At first I was a bit apalled to think that Clinton would be so honestly outspoken with what are probably her true views on the situation. Then I suspected something was wrong because it did not quite make sense. So I looked again and found at the top of the post it labelled it as Satire. Satire is not funny because it is too close to what we suspect to be true.


19 posted on 06/09/2009 12:48:16 PM PDT by This I Wonder32460
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To: writer33

satire, everybody.
see source: “semi-news/semi-satire”


20 posted on 06/09/2009 12:50:30 PM PDT by married21
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