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DUmmie FUnnies 09-22-09 (Fifth Anniversary Special Edition: Return to Rathergate)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | September 22, 2009 | DUmmies, Li'l Beaver, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 09/22/2009 10:33:51 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson


Li'l Beaver sez:
"Today is the DUmmie FUnnies' FIFTH ANNIVERSARY!
Ask me anything!"

Yes, boys and girls, it was five years ago TODAY that PJ-Comix started the DUmmie FUnnies as its own stand-alone feature on Free Republic! Since then, the DUFUs have grown to amass the LARGEST ping list on FR--1,037 pingees!--and have spawned a DUmmie FUnnies blog on Blogspot.

And what a FUn ride it's been! We started by satirizing just the DUmmies of Democratic Underground, but PJ has expanded our horizons to take in the KOmmies of Daily Kos and the HUffies of Huffington Post. The Looney Left provides a target-rich environment!

Let's take a little trip down memory lane, shall we? The mere mention of memorable DUFU terms should bring back loads of laffs: Perfect Rovian Storm, BBV Bev, "just $10 away", Pied Piper Pitt, Deconcession Chamber, "I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!", Crying DUmmie, LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!, Hopi Elders Prayer, Chimpus Khan, Head DUmmie Skinner, DUmmie stevenumbers, Not One D*mn Dime Day, MIHOP, Kewpie Doll, DUmmie Ant Farm, The Andy Stephenson Situation, Scamdy, foliage, sfexpat2000, goodboy, The Day When Everything Finally Changed, DUAC! DUAC!, Pitt in a ditch, fire ants, Lucy pulling away the football, Chimpeachment, Bukowski's, Ty the Bouncer, Peace Love & Tolerance, "Is that you, benburch?", Fitzmas, Freudenschade, Leopold & Lib, Sealed vs. Sealed, 24 business hours. . . . And that's just a small sampling from our first couple years! The list goes on and on.

Our DUFU today, appropriately, brings us back to the beginning. The DUmmie FUnnies began on this date in 2004, and the very first DUFU edition was titled, DUmmie FUnnies 09-22-04 PM Edition (Was Roger Stone Behind Memogate?). As the Fates would have it, today we make a Return to Rathergate, with this current DUmmieland THREAD, "CBS loses bid to dismiss Dan Rather lawsuit."

But before we get to the DUmmie comments, let's click the music link and sing along with Dan!

THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE DAN AWAY
Tune: "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-haaa!"

Remember when I broke the news
How Bush got in the Guard
And didn't have to leave
To go to Vietnam?
Well . . .

I pushed that story hard
Just weeks before Election Day
And so of course you know
The thoughts I had in my mind
Like . . .

They're going to give me a prize, Ha-ha!
They're going to give me a prize, Ho-ho, Hee-hee, Ha-ha!
For a journalist
Who helps the Democrats all the time
And I'll be happy to put
That nice award
In my trophy case
And they're going to give me a prize, Ha-haaa!

You thought it was a fake
And so you cringed
You cringed when people said
That superscript was not done at that time
Right . . .

The people laughed, I heard them laugh
They laughed, they laughed and laughed
You made me leave
But now you know I'm Rather upset!
So . . .

I'm going to take you to court, Ha-ha!
I'm going to take you to court, Ho-ho, Hee-hee, Ha-ha!
For a tidy sum
Like six--no, seventy million bucks
And put me back on the Evening News
And make all the viewers watch
And I'm going to take you to court, Ha-haaa!

I read your news
I gave my views
And this is how you pay me back
For all my years of bold unbiased news?!
Hah . . .

Well, you just wait
I'll find the proof
And when I do
They'll know that Dan is not some sort of old unbalanced nut!
'Cause . . .

They're coming to take me away, Ha-ha!
They're coming to take me away, Ho-ho, Hee-hee, Ha-ha!
To the Kinko's store
Where fake but accurate faxes fly
And I'll be happy to see
Those daring scoops
Come across my desk
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

To the anchor desk
With lights and cameras and breaking news
And four producers who sit and smile
And tell me that I'm the best
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

To the Kinko's store
Where fake but accurate faxes fly
And I'll be happy to see
Those daring scoops
Come across my desk
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

And now, without further aDU, we go to the DUmmies, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, aka the Wag Tailoring the Doggerel, filling in for the Big Guy, PJ--who is probably celebrating the DUFU anniversary even as we speak by feasting on Jamaican jerk chicken and Flor de Caña rum with Li'l Beaver at DUFU Mansion--is in the [brackets]:

CBS loses bid to dismiss Dan Rather lawsuit

[So now . . . now . . . the truth will finally come out . . . and we can finally impeach Bush--and Cheney! . . . and, and . . . TO THE HAGUE WITH THEM!!! WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!]

A New York judge on Monday rejected CBS Corp's bid to dismiss former TV news anchor Dan Rather's $70 million lawsuit claiming he was fired over a controversial election-year report on former President George W. Bush's Vietnam War-era military service. New York State Supreme Court Justice Ira Gammerman set a December 22 hearing in the case and directed that testimony be taken from witnesses, including Sumner Redstone, the chairman of Viacom Inc, which controlled CBS at the time. "Let's get this case moving," Gammerman said. "I would really like to get this case ready for trial."

[Oh please. Oh PLEASE!! OHPLEASE OHPLEASE OH PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!!!!!!]

Unfortunately, they will not be individually held responsible... They probably have it written into their contracts that they are indeminified.

[DEMIN!]

Tell that to Kenny Lay. Or Bernie Maddow. Or lots of others.

[Did Rachel Maddow finally get the operation?]

Great news!

[Get out the champagne!]

Go get 'em Dan-o!

[Break 'em, Dan-o!]

I hope Dan wins big time. Also the truth comes out about bu$h's missing 2 years. . . . I know that and you know that, but the real world is still in denial.

[DUmmieland is the Reality-Based Community®.]

This could be interesting!

[This could be HUGH! Keep telling yourself that, as you wait for the Great Pumpkin to appear.]

Good, now they get started.

["Started"?? Why, Rather has already won the case! The verdict has just been sealed for now.]

Money is not the issue here. . . .

[That's why Dan is only asking for a paltry $70 mil.]

I want to know who set up Rather and Mapes (the producer).

[Karl Rove, of course.]

YAY!

[WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Excellent. I am SO rooting for Dan Rather in this case.

[Freudenschade, baby!]

Will Rather ever get tired of this lawsuit? Never ending.

[Just hold on another 24 business hours.]

Bizarre post.

[Me like bizarre post! Bizarre post am good!]

Yup, very bizarre. There's a lot of bizarre going around on DU.

[One kewpie doll, on the way!]

The freepers all still think Rather tried to frame Bush with fake docs. . . .

[Fake but accurate. Just ask Mary Tyler Mapes, Girl Journalist.]

Discovery should be AWESOME.

[Did Dan get a job at the Discovery Channel?]

Dan, the man, is on a mission.

[Gunga Dan is on the move!]

I love you, Dan Rather!

[Is that you, Mary Mapes/Dan Rather/benburch?]

I think someone planted the computer generated version.

[A Perfect Rovian Form.]

GO DAN! . . . IT'S ABOUT TIME!

[Pop those champagne corks, people!!!]

As witnessed by Katie Couric's interview with Glenn Beck. Why would CBS lend credence to a raving lunatic?

[Good question. Katie is a bit of a nut, isn't she? Why are they lending her credence?]

Oh, Danny Boy . . .

[The Mapes, the Mapes, are bawling. . . .]

Go go to trial!

[BEEP! BEEP!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; fifthanniversary; lilbeaver; pjcomix; rathergate
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To: Charles Henrickson

I really like that picture of the two DUmmies protesting the election results you posted in reply #22. That gal (I guess) is crying her eyes out for nothing.


41 posted on 09/22/2009 11:54:55 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Jimmy Carter - now the second worst POTUS ever. BHO [the LIAR] has #1 spot in his sights.)
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To: LUV W
Our great leader, Chimpus Khan. . . .

Our GLORIOUS EMPEROR, Chimpus Khan! All hail King Chimpy!

42 posted on 09/22/2009 11:55:58 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUmmie FUnnies, established September 22, 2004 . . . Fifth anniversary TODAY!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

LOL! I thought it was a grapefruit at first! My bad!


43 posted on 09/22/2009 12:01:54 PM PDT by luvie (2010 is Conservatives' to win....or lose. So....LET'S WIN!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Dang! How quickly we forget....GLORIOUS EMPEROR! Sheesh!

LOL!


44 posted on 09/22/2009 12:03:23 PM PDT by luvie (2010 is Conservatives' to win....or lose. So....LET'S WIN!!)
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To: LUV W; PJ-Comix
when the DUmmies are REALLY stirred up!

THAT'S A DUMMIE
Tune: "That's Amore"

When the Moonbats go wild
With the sh*t that they've piled,
That's a DUmmie.
When they've plain lost their heads
Like they've gone off their meds,
That's a DUmmie.

Hopes will fly,
Soaring to the sky, rising way up high
Like a giant sequoia.
Hands will wring--
What a ding-a-ling, what a ding-a-ling--
And you'll think, "Paranoia."

When the "F" words flow free
Just like on MTV,
That's a DUmmie.
When they march in the street
Without leaving their seat,
You're in luck:

Those aren't Rovian plants,
They're just Ants in their rants,
And they're FUnnie!
For a laugh and a half
Reading each paragraph--
That's a DUmmie!

45 posted on 09/22/2009 12:04:17 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUmmie FUnnies, established September 22, 2004 . . . Fifth anniversary TODAY!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

When the Moonbats go wild
With the sh*t that they've piled,
That's a DUmmie.

46 posted on 09/22/2009 12:07:22 PM PDT by luvie (2010 is Conservatives' to win....or lose. So....LET'S WIN!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Actual DUmmie post, from that great time:

It so perfectly sums up their misplaced superiority complex, their unfailing trust in the state-run media, and their overall stupidity.

47 posted on 09/22/2009 12:10:15 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: dead

Two words to that DUmmie poster....Dan Rather.


48 posted on 09/22/2009 12:11:28 PM PDT by LuvFreeRepublic (CAN YOU HEAR US NOW!!!)
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To: dead

Such class!

Makes my hair hurt to read it! LOL!

Thanks for the memories! :D


49 posted on 09/22/2009 12:13:36 PM PDT by luvie (2010 is Conservatives' to win....or lose. So....LET'S WIN!!)
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To: LUV W

#50?


50 posted on 09/22/2009 12:14:10 PM PDT by luvie (2010 is Conservatives' to win....or lose. So....LET'S WIN!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I remember the time Pitt speculated about how he would have made a great founding father.


51 posted on 09/22/2009 12:19:55 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: dead
William Pitt the Elder, William Pitt the Younger, William Pitt the Drunker.

BTW, dead, when I was mentioning our great graphics contributors, I could well have mentioned you, too. Thanx!

52 posted on 09/22/2009 12:23:42 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUmmie FUnnies, established September 22, 2004 . . . Fifth anniversary TODAY!)
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To: PJ-Comix; LUV W
Another blast from the past!

DUMMIE, DUMMIE, DUMMIE (by Ohio Suppress)
Tune: "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy" (by Ohio Express)

DUmmie, DUmmie, DUmmie,
You're so dumb that it's funny
On the Ant Farm called DU;
Freepers read your ravings,
That's what we are craving
On the threads that we call DUFU.

DUFU, I read ya!
DUFU, I need ya!
DUFU, I laugh out lou-ou-ou-oud!
DUmmies, you're loony,
Loonier than Clooney!
Moonbats, fear the Rovian Clou-ou-ou-oud!

DUmmie, DUmmie, DUmmie,
You're so dumb that it's funny
And I laugh when I read DUFU!
In before the pinging!
PJ is the Ping King!
Sign a book deal with him soon!

DUFU, I read ya!
DUFU, I need ya!
DUFU, I laugh out lou-ou-ou-oud!
DUmmies, you're loony,
Loonier than Clooney!
Moonbats, fear the Rovian Clou-ou-ou-oud!

53 posted on 09/22/2009 12:59:19 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUmmie FUnnies, established September 22, 2004 . . . Fifth anniversary TODAY!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Five business years?


54 posted on 09/22/2009 1:25:12 PM PDT by JRios1968 (The real first rule of Fight Club: don't invite Chuck Norris...EVER)
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To: PJ-Comix; LUV W
ONE DIM DUMMIE
Tune: "One Tin Soldier" Original

In the basement of his parents
Lives a DUmmie underground--
He is only there these decades
Till he can get settled down.

In his basement inner sanctum,
Buried deep beneath the pants,
Is his coffee-stained computer
Where he posts his hate-filled rants.

Go ahead and hate Repukesters,
Go ahead and reprehend,
Do it in a name that's hidden,
You can multiply it when you send.
There won't be any FReepers watching,
Laughing all the way,
On the DUmmie FUnnies after . . .
One dim DUmmie types away.

55 posted on 09/22/2009 1:25:50 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUmmie FUnnies, established September 22, 2004 . . . Fifth anniversary TODAY!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
We started by satirizing just the DUmmies of Democratic Underground, but PJ has expanded our horizons to take in the KOmmies of Daily Kos and the HUffies of Huffington Post.

And PJ also got a DUFU mention in the WALL STREET JOURNAL back in January of this year. That really cracked me up. To see the "DUmmie FUnnies" named in that exalted periodical.

56 posted on 09/22/2009 2:07:52 PM PDT by PJ-Comix ("They spent a trillion dollars on a guess?" ---Astute DUmmie observation)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Let's take a little trip down memory lane, shall we?

Channeling Ralph Edwards?

57 posted on 09/22/2009 2:09:35 PM PDT by PJ-Comix ("They spent a trillion dollars on a guess?" ---Astute DUmmie observation)
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To: PJ-Comix

TOP 60 and proud to be a DUFURER.


58 posted on 09/22/2009 2:11:47 PM PDT by Mercat (Reluctant glenbeckian)
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To: Charles Henrickson
BTW, that Dan Rather pic was from a comix story I wrote that was illustrated by Brian Chin. I worked with Brian on my own hard copy publication called "Scandal Sheet." I was interviewing lots of cartoonists and was not pleased with what I found. And what I found was STUPIDITY on a massive scale. One cartoonist never heard of Ted Kennedy. Another cartoonist whom I interviewed in a hotel lobby almost got both of us killed when we crashed an adjoining wedding and the cartoonist stuck half his arm into a giant vat of decorative jello and we had to run from the enraged wedding party.

Anyway, when I got to Brian I was starting to think I would never find an intelligent cartoonist. Turned out that Brian was one of the best read people I ever met. He even read the lengthy and difficult "Japan's Imperial Conspiracy" and almost no one has ever read that book. Okay, I did but I'm weird. Anyway, that impressed me. Plus his other cartoons have incredible degree of historical research behind it. Like a whole series about the Moro war in the early 20th century and another series about a stateside army officer during WWII.

Okay, returning to topic now...

59 posted on 09/22/2009 2:23:06 PM PDT by PJ-Comix ("They spent a trillion dollars on a guess?" ---Astute DUmmie observation)
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To: Charles Henrickson
PJ--who is probably celebrating the DUFU anniversary even as we speak by feasting on Jamaican jerk chicken and Flor de Caña rum with Li'l Beaver at DUFU Mansion

Actually I'm feasting on my FREE TGI Fridays eggrolls that I got for nothing last week with my coupons. Actually my freezer is/was crammed full of those FREE dinners. (Love the buffalo wings).

60 posted on 09/22/2009 2:26:06 PM PDT by PJ-Comix ("They spent a trillion dollars on a guess?" ---Astute DUmmie observation)
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