Posted on 09/29/2009 9:44:08 AM PDT by LoonCreative
From Cloris Leachman to Evander Holyfield, Tatum O’Neal to Jerry Springer , Priscilla Presley to Steve-O. You’d think we’d seen it all on ABC TV’s “Dancing With The Stars.” But those crafty “Dancing With The Stars” producers just keep surprising us with something unusual each season. The contestant choices are designed to keep us on our toes, but more often I think they just keep our fingers on the remote. In the interest of better judgment, here are ten celebrities I hope we never, ever have to see as “Dancing With The Stars” contestants!
Britney Spears: Haven’t we had just about enough of Britney? Do we really need to see her prancing about in a sexy salsa outfit and gyrating to the strains of a Latin dance party number? (Come to think of it, isn’t that what she did on that MTV Awards show?) Sorry Britney, please stick to pop music.
Bill Clinton and/or Monica Lewinsky: I’d better not proclaim this one too loudly. The producers seem to have a penchant for coming up with the bizarre, and they might consider this a dream couple. Please, let’s leave this pair in that dark corner of the Oval office where we found them.
Janet Jackson: Hey ABC! Take some legal advice from CBS, don’t even think about it! Beyond the obvious possible wardrobe “malfunctions,” there’s the whole issue of the Jackson family legacy to deal with. When we think of dancing Jacksons, we’d rather remember Michael doing the Moonwalk.
Homer Simpson: I’m actually having second thoughts about this one. Perhaps it would be fun to see the lovable galoot paired up with the likes of Cheryl Burke. I’m imaging a freewheeling, donut-fueled swing number. Hmmm....
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When I saw Delay stumbling around and sneeringly mouth “Wild thing....”, I figure western culture hit rock bottom. It cannot get any worse than this.
I heard that he almost dropped Cheryl during their routine. I would have had to beat his a$$ if he had dropped her.
I’d love to see Cledus Judd...
I’d like to see Megan Fox. I don’t really care about the show, I just want to see Megan Fox.
Welcome to FR - why couldn’t you put the entire story here instead of making us go to your website?
At the end of his Tango, he did nearly drop his partner, mostly due to a pre-stress-fracture in one of his feet. I have to say, when I see him dancing, the one thing that comes to mind is “dad dancing with his daughter at her wedding”. Not really ballroom-quality, more of a “doing it because that’s what you’re supposed to do” thing. Given some of the other talent on this season’s show, he won’t last long (watching the MMA champion try to act graceful is a bit of a hoot; he tried for “smoldering” for his tango and only managed “psychotic”). Between that Adam kid and Donny Osmond, few of the men stand a chance.
Here is a list of people I’d like to see. I mean if we’re going to make a mockery of the American people’s intelligence.. let’s go whole hog.
1. O. J. Simpson
2. Aretha Franklin
3. Arnold
4. Diana Ross
5. Soupy Sales
6. Trini Lopez
7. Willie Nelson
8. Henry Kissinger
9. Paul Anka
10.Charo
Welcome to FR. Or maybe not.
Delay did a great job dancing. Nice of you to throw
all the other names in just to get the Delay haters
bitching again.
AYE MEN!
Might I add: New York.
I watch “the Soup” too much.
Come to think of it, that’s a pretty good standard: If you’re a regular character on “the Soup,” please stay off Dancing With the “Stars.”
(If you don’t know, “the Soup” (originally, “Talk Soup”) features a host comedian (Greg Kinnear, then Jon Henson, then Aisha Tyler, then Joel McHale) showing the depths of pop-culture depravity and then making fun of it.)
Others I hope never to see:
Wendy Williams
William Shatner
Anyone else from any “Star Trek” series, particularly William Riker, Luxwanna Troy (sp?), Data and Sulu.
Oprah
That day-time guy who calls everyone “Belly Rubber”
Al Roker
Any weatherman
Including David Letterman
but especially that guy who pitches Smuckers as he wishes people their 109th birthday
Katie Couric
Barrack Obama
Naw, take that back. I’d love it if he became such a B-list celebrity that he had to go on Dancing With the Stars to improve his relevancy.
No; he almost dropped her because he was bending over at the waist rather than keeping his back strait and bending his knees.
sniff...sniff...sniff
Hmmmm...
Welcome to FR. What about this particular article prompted you to sign up today?
I think he looked silly, but I don’t think he cared. He’s not in politics anymore, so why shouldn’t he go out there and have fun? I think it is an “in your face” to the ones that drove him out of office that wanted to see him rotting in a prison somewhere leading a miserable life.
Maxine Waters
Duh!
You forgot Charlie Manson.
GTF out of here... Let me guess, you get paid 2 cents for every sucker you get to click on your lame web site?
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