Posted on 02/05/2010 8:32:38 PM PST by When do we get liberated?
I want to remove a useless letter of the alphabet. Why is there a "Q"? Why does it have an unearned spot in the alphabet? The most useful letters of the alphabet are all front loaded. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP the slackers of the crowd are all stuck in the back as an afterthought, i.e. WXYZ. Where does the self rightous, 10 point Scrabble letter "Q" get off slipping into line before RSTUV? Did they know the bouncer? Notice Q's accomplice U garnered a cheap 1 point role in Scrabble to facilitate Q's infiltration into the language. If I have my way we will slam U with RICO charges for that. I will get to that lazy U later, he isn't pulling his weight and hides from the spotlight by shadowing Q and not doing any work, remaining silent, voting present if you will, in the lexicon. As my goal is to eliminate the vestigial letter lets forget for a moment its place. Why is it there? Many letters in the English language have differing pronunciation depending on how they are used. Why not Q's oh so willing accomplice U? The letter A has to cover a few pronunciation bases, as do many others. Why is U exempt from pulling it's weight? Quiznos, Queen, soliloquoy and any number of other words would sound the same in the written word, and cost less to produce in the printed word, without that loser the Q. Want proof Q is on thin ice? Look at the VIN number on any auto. Never there. NADA and SAE knew that guy was weak. U was the only guy that ever stood behind him and you never heard a word out of that dude. Lets speed the English language education of our young by 1/26th, lets free up millions of tons of printer ink in the next decade, let's simplify our language and get rid of this 17th alphabetic place poser for good.
You need to lay off the sauce.
I want to know when we can get rid of ‘O’
We need “Q” because it’s less fun to call Barney Frank a “Ueer”.
I live at the bottom of a slight hill in the south. We have had a couple hours of sleet and it has turned to ice with snow on top. My street never sees a snowplow until it melts. This is our 3rd weekend in a row with snow. Sauce sounds like a good answer at this point.
Whadja lose at Scrabble to yer nine year old niece?
Maybe we really do need the metric alphabet. 10 letters.
I caught a big EFISH.
EF are joined. I think all the letters from J on down were lumped together.
That's a good Question.
"I beg your pardon!"
http://www.procrastination.org/crap/q/ Q is the first letter on a computer keyboard (and therefore the first letter of the alphabet), and the most bizarre and ridiculous letter of the English language. It serves as comic relief in the stage performances of duo Q&A. Its shape and sound are embarrassing at best and patently obscene at worst. One who is cursed with a given name beginning with this vile pernicious letter is often justifiably ridiculed for life. Quentin Tarantino, for instance, was ridiculed so badly at Kindergarten that he took to directing as an escape. However, if your name happens to consist entirely of the letter Q, you will almost certanly become an omnipotent and omniscient being who is destined for great things, such as wandering around bothering bald starship captains, or handing out cool secret agent gadgets that are then destroyed or argue with the Continuum over the qualities of Qness. Many intelligent people believe the letter "Q" or letters "QU" or letteri "QUE" can be replaced by a simple "kw" instead of creating a useless character. Q is also an image of when the letter 'I' beats his wife 'O'. This can be shown as I stabbing O. Q, who enjoys taunting Mark Gottlieb and starship captains. Fortunately, Q is almost always buffered from contact with other letters by U, a little-used vowel of ill repute. This is a sure sign that the letter Q is a useless, co-dependent letter that is utterly incapable of doing anything on its own. The extremely rare "naked Q" (that is, without its protective U) is the ultimate lexigraphical abomination, and is for the most part limited to foreign pagan languages, and names of weird unchristian countries, like Qatar which no Godfearing red-blooded patriotic American would be caught dead in. Q is thought, by some people, to be a deformed relative of O. Others believe, for obvious reasons, that O is female and Q is male. Most people, however, believe that these people are either idiots or Time Lords, and should be burned at the stake while being forced to eat their own guts. Q is the reason for the Bush Administration entering Iraq, as it is the connection between Iraq and Al Qaeda.
You’ll need to ask ‘Q’ why we cant get rid of Q
Thats a good Uestion..
Hmmm...that would screw up the address where I work...Baghdad, Ira_.
Nope...doesn’t work for me.
Maybe you should ask Dan Quayle. Or Quagmire of Quahog on “Family Guy.”
without “Q” ..... no one would be named Tamiqua
Announcer: And now, Mr. Joseph Franklin of the U.S. Council of Standards and Measures. Joseph Franklin: Thank you. Tonight I'd like to talk to you about how the new metric system of conversion will affect you. This is one in a series of public reeducation programs designed to make Americans aware of the metric conversion to take place in the next ten years. Most Americans already know that the measurement of miles will be discarded in favor of kilometers - a systme of measurement based on the unit of tens and already in use in most of the world. Few people, however, know about the new metric alphabet: the "Decibet"; "deci" from the Greek "ten", and "bet" from our own "alphabet". Let's take a look, shall we? [ holds up large poster of the Decibet ] Now, isn't that simple? Only ten letters. Twn fingers.. ten letters. [ holds flip cards ] Now, let's take a look at some specifics. [ shows Card 1 ] A, B, C, and D: our first and most popular letters will remain the same. [ shows Card 2 ] E and F, however, will be combined and graphically simplified to make one character. [ shows Card 3 ] The groupings GHI, and.. [ shows Card 4 ] LMNO will be condensed to single letters. Incidentally, a boon to those who always had trouble pronouncing LMNO correctly. [ shows Card 5 ] And finally, the so-called "trash letters", or P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z, will be condensed to this easily recognizable dark character. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten! Now, let's take a look at how this change will affect our daily speech habits. [ shows card ] In the EF grouping addition, the word "eagle" would remain basically the same in character, but would be pronounced "efaglef". However, certain words previously beginning with the letter F, like.. [ shows xard ] .."fish", would be pronounced with an additional E sound: this, "efish". "I caught a big efish." [ shows card ] "Goat" would remain "goat". [ shows card ] "Hotel" will carry the G letter addition, but as in many words beginning with the GH sound, such as "Ghana", the G would remain silent; thus, "hotel". However, words beginning wih I.. [ shows card ] .. as in "industry", will be pronounced "gindustry". The meaning will remain the same. LMNO's grouping is similar. [ shows card ] "Mucus" will be LMNOucus". [ shows card ] "Light" would remain "light". [ shows card ] And "open" would then ne "LMNOpen", as in, "Honey, would you LMNOpen the door?" Finally, the "trash letters", or the letters from P to Z, would then make a stop sign appear like this: [ holds up stop sign with unintelligble blotch on it ] So there you have it. We hope to eventually establish the Universal Metric Alphabet in America by 1979. Join me next time, when we explore the changes you'll be seeing in alphabet soup and spelling bee contest rules. But now, let's sing the old favorite, the childhood "Alphabet Song", as we will hear it in the future.. [ singing ] "A, B, C, D, EF.. GHI.. J, K, LMNO.. [ blotch ]" [ fade out ]
Joseph Franklin: Thank you. Tonight I'd like to talk to you about how the new metric system of conversion will affect
you. This is one in a series of public reeducation programs designed to make Americans aware of the metric conversion to take place in the next ten years. Most Americans already know that the measurement of miles will be discarded in favor of kilometers - a systme of measurement based on the unit of tens and already in use in most of the world. Few people, however, know about the new metric alphabet: the "Decibet"; "deci" from the Greek "ten", and "bet" from our own "alphabet". Let's take a look, shall we? [ holds up large poster of the Decibet ] Now, isn't that simple? Only ten letters. Twn fingers.. ten letters.
[ holds flip cards ] Now, let's take a look at some specifics.
[ shows Card 1 ] A, B, C, and D: our first and most popular letters will remain the same. [ shows Card 2 ] E and F, however, will be combined and graphically simplified to make one character. [ shows Card 3 ] The groupings GHI, and.. [ shows Card 4 ] LMNO will be condensed to single letters. Incidentally, a boon to those who always had trouble pronouncing LMNO correctly. [ shows Card 5 ] And finally, the so-called "trash letters", or P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z, will be condensed to this easily recognizable dark character. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten! Now, let's take a look at how this change will affect our daily speech habits. [ shows card ] In the EF grouping addition, the word "eagle" would remain basically the same in character, but would be pronounced "efaglef". However, certain words previously beginning with the letter F, like.. [ shows xard ] .."fish", would be pronounced with an additional E sound: this, "efish". "I caught a big efish." [ shows card ] "Goat" would remain "goat". [ shows card ] "Hotel" will carry the G letter addition, but as in many words beginning with the GH sound, such as "Ghana", the G would remain silent; thus, "hotel". However, words beginning wih I.. [ shows card ] .. as in "industry", will be pronounced "gindustry". The meaning will remain the same. LMNO's grouping is similar. [ shows card ] "Mucus" will be LMNOucus". [ shows card ] "Light" would remain "light". [ shows card ] And "open" would then ne "LMNOpen", as in, "Honey, would you LMNOpen the door?" Finally, the "trash letters", or the letters from P to Z, would then make a stop sign appear like this: [ holds up stop sign with unintelligble blotch on it ] So there you have it. We hope to eventually establish the Universal Metric Alphabet in America by 1979. Join me next time, when we explore the changes you'll be seeing in alphabet soup and spelling bee contest rules. But now, let's sing the old favorite, the childhood "Alphabet Song", as we will hear it in the future.. [ singing ] "A, B, C, D, EF.. GHI.. J, K, LMNO.. [ blotch ]" [ fade out ]
How about a Qualude
Ouch!
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