Posted on 04/23/2010 10:30:06 AM PDT by GeronL
At a hastily arranged press conference in Jerusalem this morning a teary-eyed self-proclaimed God announced his resignation.
"After the past few centuries I have come to realize that everything I thought I was doing was wrong. I thought I could bring civilization to barbarians, bit by bit. This has been proven to not be the case.
"I have come here to announce that I am stepping aside. I cannot any longer be responsible for the suicide bombers, the wars, the hatred, the brutalizations of women and children. None of these things should be happening.
"My people were supposed to evolve and become civilized through time. Now, I see that there were many flaws in my methods. For one I chose the wrong Prophet. I should have considered more candidates for that position but the barbarians respected stregnth and violence.
"I should have chosen a little girl, knowing what I know today. Not someone who would rape her and add her to a harm of slaves. Yes, Muhammad was an idiot and he made a big mess out of things.
"I will not take any questions, I realize that you want to ask about my possible replacements. There is a whole host of those, every idiot is starting a fake religion these days, L Ron Hubbard, Joseph Smith, Al Gore. I would advise you to look around for something a little substantive than those choices though.
"So, in closing, I would like to address those crazies who think they are doing my will. STOP IT!! YOU ARE FREAKING INSANE!! STOP!! Do you have a brain in your head you morons??"
/sarcasm
I should proofread
bump
You have mail.
It was a good start, hooking the reader. You could’ve gone in this direction:
Allah To Blow Himself Up For Islam’s Cause
or
Allah Blows Up Mohammed, Says Prophet Is Abysmal Failure
or something along those lines. And then again...what do I know. LOL!
That is true, he could have fired Mohammad and began the committee search for a new prophet.
Well done. There’s some good nuggets in there. Could even be further developed. Nice job.
Does that mean Muhammed is out of a job?
He'll probably be on next season's Dancing with the Stars.
Muhammed got most of them blame. I am sure his tenure is going to revoked and he will be fired after a lengthy review on paid administrative leave.
lol
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