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Zombies Want Recognition as 'Undocumented Dead' (argh... satire)
DotPenn.com ^
| 06-02-2010
| Sven Waring
Posted on 06/02/2010 3:06:48 PM PDT by SvenWaring
After years of divisively being called Zombies and the Living Dead, flesh-eating creatures are now demanding respect.
Residents of the netherworld between life and death are now being asked to be called, "Undocumented Dead," to better describe their citizenship status.
Glrrp Grrp, who once went by the name John Rogers before he became undead, said that the more common referrences for his status are hurtful.
"Errr. Me no like Zombie. Very dehumanizing," said Grrp. "Argh. Me eat humanizing."
Grrp is hoping his efforts will pave the way for a new acceptance of Undocumented Dead among Americans.
"Me have dream. Errr. MMM." Grrp said. "Human one day known for taste of flesh, not content of character."
(Excerpt) Read more at dotpenn.com ...
TOPICS: Food; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: aliens; residents; undocumented; zombies
To: CholeraJoe; Delta 21; Nikas777; NoAmnesty; Yorlik803; TheOldLady; The Comedian; OB1kNOb; ...
2
posted on
06/02/2010 3:07:46 PM PDT
by
RandallFlagg
(30-year smoker, E-Cigs helped me quit, and O wants me back smoking again?)
To: SvenWaring
3
posted on
06/02/2010 3:13:12 PM PDT
by
Chasaway
(Tonto: "What do you mean "We", White Man?")
To: SvenWaring
4
posted on
06/02/2010 3:24:55 PM PDT
by
dynachrome
(Barack Hussein Obama yunikku khinaaziir!)
To: RandallFlagg
Checking for a room-temperature thermal reading, a shambling gate, otherwise-fatal wounds, and observing cannibalism would be
profiling, and I won't stand for it...
Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.
5
posted on
06/02/2010 3:35:31 PM PDT
by
The Comedian
(Evil can only succeed if good men don't point at it and laugh.)
To: SvenWaring
Those damn Zombies already have the vote and have had it for a while. Why do you think ACORN listed so many cemetary addresses. They will not stop. I understand Arizona is working on anti-Zombie legislation that DC has promised to take to the supreme court.
To: SvenWaring
They are just eating the brains Americans refuse to eat.
7
posted on
06/02/2010 3:53:33 PM PDT
by
nhoward14
(A mind is a terrible thing to waste. That is why Obama gave his away.)
To: SvenWaring
They’re already accepted at Chicago polling places.
8
posted on
06/02/2010 6:50:07 PM PDT
by
tweeb
To: The Comedian
Checking for a room-temperature thermal reading, a shambling gate, otherwise-fatal wounds, and observing cannibalism would be profiling, and I won't stand for it... You're a saint. When do we start marching?
To: TheOldLady
You're a saint. When do we start marching? I believe the more appropriate phrase here is "shambling". ;-)
10
posted on
06/03/2010 3:41:25 AM PDT
by
Jonah Hex
("Never underestimate the hungover side of the Force.")
To: Jonah Hex
Hey! I’m old, but I ain’t undead yet! ;-D
To: TheOldLady; RandallFlagg
You're a saint. When do we start marching? Shambling. Marching is deadist.
Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.
12
posted on
06/03/2010 4:27:36 AM PDT
by
The Comedian
(Evil can only succeed if good men don't point at it and laugh.)
To: The Comedian
LOL! Ewwwww! LOL!
Shamblin’ ‘R’ Us
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