Posted on 08/28/2010 9:21:27 AM PDT by Mobile Vulgus
Youssef Al-Ahmed, a Saudi cleric, issued a fatwa against the supermarket chain Panda for daring to hire women who mingle with male customers and employees alike.
But Grand Mufti Sheik Abdul-Aziz Al Sheik has issued a fatwa against the fatwa issued by Youssef Al-Ahmed because Al-Ahmed is not of sufficient status to issue fatwas.
In reply Al-Ahmed issued a fatwaette against any of his junior clerics from talking about the rescinded fatwa.
Grand Mufti Sheik Abdul-Aziz Al Sheik then issued a fatwa against fatwaettes saying you can't have smaller fatwas. "A fatwa is a fatwa is a fatwa," the Mufti said.
Al-Ahmed sent a holy text on his i-Phone to the Grand Mufti asking if he might issue lite-twas, instead?
The Grand Mufti texted back saying that Al-Ahmed could issue lite-twas but only once a month and only against fast food places and not supermarkets.
Al-Ahmed countered with asking permission to issue lite-twas against gas station lunch counters and fast food places.
The Grand Mufti agreed but told him that he couldn't issue lite-twas against Taco Bell because the Mufti loved their goat meat tacos.
Al-Ahmed agreed and issued his first lite-twa against Burger King because they forgot to add extra pickles the last time he drove his limo through the drive thu.
And God approved.
As-Salamu 'Alaykum, everybody...
Read the rest at Publiusforum.com...
Who’s on first? ;-)
A curse on you mustache and a pebble in your camel.
Piss be upon all of them.
They are all dogs with no teeth, may their bowels fill with worms!
My sincere apologies to the canine set.
Thanks for the laugh! Fatwaettes indeed!
I only listen to Fatwas from Imam Zer0.
I’m going to declare myself an Imam.
That’s all it takes, and of course, for others to call me “Imam.”
Then I will be able to go on CNN as an expert on Islam.
Ah, dueling fatwas. H’mmm, will the to imans meet a noon on the street in front of the moske and face each other down?
or perhaps a
Jumbo Fat Wa....
In any case too much WAAAAAaaaaaaaaa
No—midnight, truck bombs, blow each other and lots of others up.
Do not bother to reply in the Infidel way. I am an American Moderate Muslim. Muhammed, May Peace Be Upon Him, actually teaches the faithful that there is no need to kill Infidels unless they are really super annoying, because Dead Infidels Pay No Dhimmi, Dummie. We Muslims really need that money. Have you seen the price of vest dynamite lately? (Muhammed, May Peace Be Upon Him, also cautions the faithful to fully support another believer's jihad, which may involve killing you. Sorry.)
Frankly, whether you infidels are alive or dead, it's win-win for us Muslims. Alive, we collect Dhimmi, AND dead, you and your Infidel family, particularly those in nubile condition, will be my slaves for all eternity in Firdous.
So it is written by Muhammed, May Peace Be Upon Him, the only Big Time Prophet directly franchised by Allah The All Knowing, and the American Board of Moderate Imams.
There's an app for that.
?
Here a fatwa, there a fatwa, everywhere a fat-wa.
This old cleric was a schmuck, ee-i-ee-i-oh.
Couldn’t agree more.
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