Posted on 10/19/2010 11:18:07 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
It is now exactly two weeks until Election Day. The DUmmies are obviously feeling a lot of tension. The big question for them is "Do I have what it takes to be featured in the DUmmie FUnnies?" Yes, there is certain to be a lot of competition to make it into the DUFUs so I understand their worries. Even though I expect MANY DUFU editions on Election Day and in the days that follow, there will also be many juicy DUmmie threads full of comedy nuggets to choose from. Since I have a certain fondness for the critters in my DUmmie Ant Farm so I am here to give them helpful tips on how to successfully audition for a spot in the DUmmie FUnnies so here goes in no particular order:
1. Drama Queen Antics: The more the Drama Queen melodrama you project, the better your chances of making it into the DUFU selection process. Let the 2004 stand up and melodramatically announce your names to the world stand out as a great example of what you can achieve in the Drama Queen category.
2. Cry voter machine fraud: Yes, even though this charge seemed to have faded away in 2006 and 2008 when the Democrats won big, it is sure to be resurrected if the Republicans gain ground. Since there will be many such charges, please be very creative in how you cry fowl.
3. Attack Obama: Yes, I know you have been holding in your disgust with The One for fear of being Tombstoned by Skinner but I have a feeling the dam will break on election night. The upside is that so many DUmmies will be attacking how Obama is destroying the Democrats that the numbers will simply overwhelm Skinner unless he wants to ban 90% of DUmmieland.
4. Retreat to Mysticism: Demoralized DUmmies retreating to mysticism for comfort is a great way to make the DUFU cut. I am really fond of alternate universes in which America decides to go socialist. Finding solace in the wisdom of the Hopi Elders is another great way to make it into the DUFUs. Oh, and finding hope in astrology is also quite entertaining especially if the moon enters Uranus.
5. William Rivers Pitt gives his two bits: Pied Piper Pitt playing pundit is always great for laughs. How well I remember his many promises of an election reversal in 2004 because of unknown legal papers filed in obscure Ohio courtrooms. That was Pitt playing his classic "insider in the know" game.
6. Blame Karl Rove: Rovian conspiracy theories about fixing the election always goes to the top of any DUFU audition list.
7. Stop the World, I Wanna Get Off: This final tip is probably the easiest way to get inducted in the DUFUs. Just declare that you completely give up on this country in particular and life in general. Screech about planning to leave this country or even taking the Heaven's Gate solution.
I hope you DUmmies have found these tips helpful. Study them carefully and you will definitely have an edge on your fellow DUmmies. Good luck on making it into the DUFUs on Election Day and/or in the days that follow!
first?
top ten?
In!
PING!
That is a loooooooooooooong ping list!
For election day DU we want to see a double or triple-sized DUFU. I hope DUFU has access in case the place goes on lockdown, I’m pretty sure it will.
Oops! I accidentally posted the PING list in Reply #3. Hopefully the administrator soon takes it down. What happened is that while posting my wife irritated the hell out of me by calling me on the phone and asking for DETAILED street by street directions on how to get from one BCC campus to another despite the fact she’s already done it dozens of times. Thus my attention was diverted by the irritation.
“...especially if the moon enters Uranus.”
OUCH!
Did I get the last slot?
Also, don’t forget if YOU want to cruise over the DUmmieland and enjoy the freudenschade on election night, you MUST already have an account, and it may be a good idea to boost up your post count in the Lounge, or some other innocuous area of the DUmp, ‘lest Skinner give you the heave-ho that evening as a distruptor just on post-count alone. I do believe that some of the Mods over there might actually be “Lousy FReeper Trolls”, stirring up the ant-farm on occasion...
Now, now, filial responsibility and all...
What’s BCC? Big Cheap Coupons...?
Ping list taken down now. Thanx administrator. That’s what happens when my wife diverts my attention with ...OH MAN! She just called AGAIN for more instructions... Yes, you turn NORTH on Powerline from Atlantic. ...ring!... WHAT? North means you take a RIGHT TURN!!! Sheesh!
PJ, you forgot the “How Many New Meds Are You On?” threads.
Darn you, Aquila, you have forever dashed my hopes of ever making the DUmmie FUnnies top ten!
BCC...Broward Community College.
Good to be in early on a Pseudo-DuFu. Lets just call this a pre-Freudenshade post.
They might only let the donor members in on lockdown
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