Posted on 07/03/2011 8:10:34 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
"Don't you DARE question my patriotism!" cry the DUmmies, lest they be accused of being anti-American. Vainly do they try to wrap themselves in the flag, in an effort to mask their radical leftist tendencies. And so when Independence Day rolls around, they feel they must take back the holiday from the domain of the Teabaggers--even though the Founding Fathers were the ORIGINAL Tea Party! Even though the DUmmies really HATE the Fourth of July and all it stands for, they must pretend otherwise.
How successful are they? Let's find out on this THREAD, "Time to ban the 4th of July?" and this THREAD, "Harvard Study: Kids who attend 4th of July parades more likely to vote Republican."
So let us watch the fireworks over the Fourth, in Red-White-and-DU, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:
Time to ban the 4th of July?
[Let's go straight from the 3rd to the 5th. Actually, a lot of the DUmmies would LIKE to go straight to a fifth. (Although not all of them would go straight.)]
According to the report, published by Harvard University, July 4th-themed festivities (defined by the study as fireworks, parades, political speeches, and barbecues) not only energize primarily Republicans, but also turn children into Republicans and increase GOP voter turnout.
[Turning kids into Rethugs? Child abuse!]
Nobody knows what it's about anyway anymore.
[Thank you, NEA!]
Just like all holidays we celebrate in this country...most are an excuse to drink beer.
[We hold these brews to be self-indulgent. . . .]
I've never voted for an R in a statewide or national election in my entire f***ing life, but you can best believe that after attending the local 4th of July Parade we'll be barbequing at my house, then going down to the marina to watch the fireworks show over the lake. . . . Fireworks... f*** yeah!
{Thank you for proving the point the above DUmmie was making: All the trappings, without the substance.]
I heard a local radio talk show discussing this. The Reps were saying that since Dems are not as enthusiastic about parades and fireworks, they are not patriotic. . . . I suppose it all comes down to how you define "patriotism".
[Oh, how about . . . love of country . . . valuing freedom from Big Government . . . being willing to use military might to protect our country . . . honoring the Founding Fathers. . . . Those things work for you? No? How come?]
As synonymous with "nationalism", obviously, but then most Americans think they're the same thing.
[Yeah, it's good to be patriotic about some OTHER nation, like France, or Canada, or Cuba. . . .]
I truly believe that they would hate the founding fathers that they think they love.
[Yes, the Founding Parents were really long-wigged hippies who LOVED high taxes--"investing in the Empire," they called it--the seizure of guns, and an all-powerful distant government. . . . No, wait! That's what they were fighting AGAINST! Darn, I always get those things mixed up!]
I don't see much to be proud of on the 4th....
[But don't question my patriotism!]
I love the fourth of July. . . .
[The Fourth is strong with this one.]
Why is that some in our party want to ban everything ... Ban smoking, ban salt, ban fast food restaurants, ban guns, ban fireworks, ban the Bible, ban Fox News, ban gas guzzlers, ban incandescent light bulbs, ban violent video games, ban the Fourth of July, ban Christmas, ban any mention of God, ban, ban, ban, ban.
[Ban, ban, ban, ban. . . . Ban, ban, ban, ban. . . . LOVELY BAN, WONDERFUL BAN!]
I personally love living in a free nation.
[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]
If I want to go to Burger King once a month and enjoy a hamburger and fries, smoke a cigar when someone has a baby or enjoy watching a parade on the Fourth of July I should be allowed to.
[HERESY!]
If we continue down this road we will lose a lot more voters than we will attract.
[Kewpie Doll.]
the fireworks people set off in my complex make the dogs go crazy.
[The Dogs Must Be Crazy: Winner of the 1981 Dyslexia Award at the Canines Film Festival.]
I hate all jingoistic bullsh*t like the 4th of July. All those stupid super-patriotic holidays like Veteran's Day, Memorial Day, etc. I refuse to wave a flag, to stand when the anthem is played, to say the Pledge. The hell with all that.
[NOW may we question your patriotism?]
Watching fireworks being set off by authorities makes you more fascist. Setting off fireworks yourself makes you more independent.
[Or left-handed.]
Watching officials and organizations in a parade makes you more fascist. Making your own parade float (especially without a guiding organization) makes you more independent.
[Making your own parade float without a parade makes you NUts.]
Sitting around all day eating junk food makes you more fascist. Packing a healthy picnic and going out into the boonies makes you more independent.
[Tofu salad with pine nuts, skim soy water--yeah, that says Fourth of July to me!]
You want to ban the 4th of July. My vote is to ban you instead.
[The Battle of the Bans!]
Harvard Study: Kids who attend 4th of July parades more likely to vote Republican.
[Henrickson Study: Young skulls full of mush who attend Harvard more likely to vote Democrat.]
Even a single July 4 celebration boosts the chance of turning a kid into a Republican. . . .
[It's like radiation poisoning from the fireworks or something.]
My Pop took us to air shos also. (excuse the typos as my double u is not orking on the keyboard. . . .
[This DUmmie banned the letter "W" from his keyboard, that's how progressive he is!]
I even have red, white and blue decorations up for the holiday.
[The Red Star, a white flag, and Democrat blue.]
Flag wavers generally are repukes.
[Ban the flag! Ban repukes!]
This spreads the ludicrous meme that Publicans are inherently more patriotic, and that "proper child rearing" will produce the "good kind" of 'Murkkkin."
[The Parenting and the Publican.]
This is dumb.
[This is DUmmieland.]
Maybe I can commission a study and conclude that attending Harvard makes you 50% more likely to be an elitist douchebag.
[LEAVE OBAMA ALONE!!]
The "Ban" most DUmmies should really be concerned with:
How do the dogs know they're fireworks people? Do they smell like Republicans?
[Thank you, NEA!]
It's sad to see DUmmies who have no clue what the 4th of July is really about. The NEA should be abolished.
[But don't question my patriotism!]
You can really tell which people in our neighborhood are Conservatives and which are DUmmies by the display of the U S Flag today.
bfl
May the 4th be with you....
[Let’s go straight from the 3rd to the 5th. Actually, a lot of the DUmmies would LIKE to go straight to a fifth. (Although not all of them would go straight.)]
More likely, straight to a third fifth.
Of course, YOU can. You're a DUmmie. It's the unenlightened masses who cannot.
Some pigs are more equal than others.
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