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HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
March 3, 2012
Posted on 03/03/2012 8:11:47 PM PST by NKP_Vet
HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads ......
Bubba,
Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: security; southern; system
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1
posted on
03/03/2012 8:11:52 PM PST
by
NKP_Vet
To: NKP_Vet
A nice loyal German Shepherd works great.
They are wonderful dogs in every respect.
2
posted on
03/03/2012 8:15:30 PM PST
by
dragnet2
(Diversion and evasion are tools of deceit)
To: NKP_Vet
3
posted on
03/03/2012 8:16:06 PM PST
by
berdie
To: NKP_Vet
To: NKP_Vet
5
posted on
03/03/2012 8:22:24 PM PST
by
garjog
To: NKP_Vet
I know Cooter. He has a rib shack in a college town called Jacksonville, AL, where Jacksonville State University is. Small place. Good food. Gotta be the same Cooter. Not the one from Dukes.
6
posted on
03/03/2012 8:22:51 PM PST
by
RetiredArmy
(POLITICIANS: Promise the moon. Deliver the shaft.)
To: NKP_Vet
Ha. It's like when the wife and I went to the log and timber home show in Atlanta a couple of months ago - some sales lackey at a vendor booth asked if we had a home security system. I said, "Yeah, we do. It's got bullets in it, which go off when our two alarms start to bark."
"As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their hearts desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
--H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920
To: garjog
8
posted on
03/03/2012 8:24:13 PM PST
by
garjog
To: NKP_Vet
Sounds like my vehicle anti-theft system...
9
posted on
03/03/2012 8:25:37 PM PST
by
Joe 6-pack
(Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
To: NKP_Vet
I am a widow. I have never moved my husbands work boots from the back door for security reasons,and my comfort just seeing them there. I do live in the south.
10
posted on
03/03/2012 8:27:14 PM PST
by
Coldwater Creek
(He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty Psalm 91:)
To: RetiredArmy
Everybody in the South knows someone named Cooter. LOL!!!
11
posted on
03/03/2012 8:28:05 PM PST
by
Georgia Girl 2
(The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
To: NKP_Vet
The note assumes that the bad guys can read.
12
posted on
03/03/2012 8:28:42 PM PST
by
lurk
To: lurk
13
posted on
03/03/2012 8:34:15 PM PST
by
umgud
(No Rats, No Rino's)
To: lurk
"The note assumes that the bad guys can read."Crack an' jack pit den slit the pipe and split to da crib, yo.
Naaaa-mean?
14
posted on
03/03/2012 8:35:13 PM PST
by
NakedRampage
(Puttin' the "stud" in Bible study)
To: Coldwater Creek
Add a huge set of overalls next to the boots.
Ought to do.
To: Joe 6-pack
Is that their Kibble they’re protecting ?
Owner of two awesome chocolate labs and a St. Bernard.
My next pup will be an Alsatian.
16
posted on
03/03/2012 8:44:45 PM PST
by
onona
(Dicky Betts is one ramblin man !)
To: NKP_Vet
This sign works for me.....
To: NKP_Vet
I like the sign with a picture of a pistol that reads:
“We don’t call 911 - We use Smith & Wesson Security”
18
posted on
03/03/2012 9:02:31 PM PST
by
Windflier
(To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
To: baddog 219
Son has a sign on the drive into his farm that says “IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU ARE WITHIN RANGE”.
19
posted on
03/03/2012 9:07:48 PM PST
by
Reo
(the 4th Estate is a 5th Column)
To: NKP_Vet
How do know my neighbors?
20
posted on
03/03/2012 9:39:54 PM PST
by
ForAmerica
(Conservative Christian Black Man!)
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