Congresswoman Says State a Better Mate for Women

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 June 2012 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

In a speech at a conference organized by the National Council for Research and Women Representative Gwen Moore (D-Wis) urged women to “shake off the shackles of male hegemony” and use their superior numbers to effect a “social-sexual realignment of power.”

“Women are the major beneficiaries of the government’s social welfare programs,” Moore pointed out. “Women receive the majority of the payments made for food, clothing, and shelter. Women use health care benefits to a much greater extent. Considering that women live longer they take down two-thirds to 85% of the benefits distributed via Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.”

In light of these statistics, Moore argued that “Republican resistance to expanded government is a sexist ploy to deny women the full fruits of our electoral superiority. We have the votes to take what we want. There is no longer any need for us to put up with a repugnant spouse in order to survive. The government can take care of us and we won’t have to cook for them, pick up after them, or sleep with them.”

“The key will be to get women to vote as a block,” Moore said. “If we can do that we can’t be stopped.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2012/06/23/press-secretary-parries-questions-on-fast-furious-scandal/

[se_ohio_young_conservative]

this kind of shit is scary as well.. whats happening to our country ?

[se_ohio_young_conservative]

fake but true ! LOL

[DMG2FUN]

She needs to take a midol, and mellow out!

[DMG2FUN]

She needs to take a midol, and mellow out!

[damncat]

What an embarrassmen!

[punditwannabe]

She does speak the truth.....but isn’t government “the MAN”? She’ll still be under some MAN’s thumb, errr or whatever else.............

[central_va]

Dammit, you got me!

[Huskrrrr]

Ha! Good riddance, take yourself out of the gene pool, toots!

[RichInOC]

“Hi, I’m from the government, and I’m here to...”

[niteowl77]

"The government can take care of us and we won’t have to cook for them, pick up after them, or sleep with them."

IIRC, this is the same wom... uh, "female" whose son* was given a slap on the wrist for slashing tires that dared to be Republican on election day or some such thing.

Mr. niteowl77

*This indicates that she has apparently slept with somebody, and I suspect the act required shaking off more than just the shackles of male hegemony.

[SuziQ]

There is no longer any need for us to put up with a repugnant spouse in order to survive. The government can take care of us and we won’t have to cook for them, pick up after them, or sleep with them.”

ROTFL! I'm sure there are quite a few women who feel this way!

[EGPWS]

[afraidfortherepublic]

ROTFLOL! I’d ping my Wisconsin list, but at least half of them might believe this! You do satire very well.

Ah, heck! I’ll ping them anyway. This is too funny!

Wisconsin ping. Semmons has captured the essense of Ms Moore perfectly.

[Still Thinking]

In light of these statistics, Moore argued that “Republican resistance to expanded government is a sexist ploy to deny women the full fruits of our electoral superiority. We have the votes to take what we want. There is no longer any need for us to put up with a repugnant spouse in order to survive. The government can take care of us and we won’t have to cook for them, pick up after them, or sleep with them.”

Uh, maam, what if all us useless male tax generators take note of your attitude and decide to go Galt? Is there a contingency plan for that?

[rockinqsranch]

Good one John.

[ExCTCitizen]

In light of these statistics, Moore argued that “Republican resistance to expanded government is a sexist ploy to deny women the full fruits of our electoral superiority. We have the votes to take what we want. There is no longer any need for us to put up with a repugnant spouse in order to survive. The government can take care of us and we won’t have to cook for them, pick up after them, or sleep with them.”

Gwen Moore sounds like an ANGRY LESBIAN.

Lady (and I use the term very lightly, since you aren't a lady, ms. moore), the government can take care of you?? Jeez, without guys, who would pay the TAXES so you can be lazy??

Conservative ladies, I hope I didn't offend you. I know you working moms (even stay at home moms) pay too much in taxes. Gwen Moore needs to go back to her village -- its missing the idiot.

[Talisker]

In light of these statistics, Moore argued that “Republican resistance to expanded government is a sexist ploy to deny women the full fruits of our electoral superiority. We have the votes to take what we want. There is no longer any need for us to put up with a repugnant spouse in order to survive. The government can take care of us and we won’t have to cook for them, pick up after them, or sleep with them. The key will be to get women to vote as a block,” Moore said. “If we can do that we can’t be stopped.”

Another great one, John, good job.

You know, if men could just beam up and fly away on the Starship Enterprise, time warp a hundred years, and then come back to the planet of socialized women, you know what they'd find?

Bones.

With teeth marks in the bones, and signs of warfare so savage, that even a hundred years wouldn't have dimmed the ferocity of the attacks women unleashed on each other, having turned into mere "females."

Women as the fairer sex?

:: spit ::

Look around.

[CORedneck]

Making full circles back to the days of Nazi Germany. Hitler encouraged women to get pregnant without marriage and the state became the substitute husband and father. Scary indeed !

[UCANSEE2]

The fact that you identify this as SATIRE, not just once, but several times, and that so many fall for it, is a lesson in human psychology.