Posted on 07/01/2012 2:17:08 PM PDT by John Semmens
The Department of Homeland Security has unilaterally revoked an agreement with Arizona and refused to initiate one with Virginia to cooperate in enforcing the country’s immigration laws.
“We were never very enthusiastic about these agreements,” Secretary Janet Napolitano admitted. “Communicating the Administration’s nuanced policy to the local governments has always been a problem. At the same time, we felt it was important to convey an impression that we could work together. After all, the President was telling everyone that he had no choice under existing law.”
“Now the situation has completely changed,” Napolitano boasted. “The President’s Executive Order has wiped out the previous law and established a new policy for how we treat those who are in the country illegally. Since we’re no longer going to be enforcing the old laws it would be a waste of time for us to simulate cooperation between us and the local governments on enforcement issues.”
Napolitano didn’t totally rule out possible cooperation between her agency and local governments. “If states want to help us issue work permits to these people I’m sure we could figure out a division of labor amenable to both sides,” she said. “The faster we can get new IDs into as many hands as possible the happier the President will be. Ideally, we’d like to have 800,000 new IDs in place within the next four months.”
In related news, the Department of Justice has set up a new “hotline” illegal aliens can use to complain about local government harassment. The hotline phone number is 1-855-353-1010. “We wanted to let this oppressed minority know that we’ve got their backs,” Attorney General Holder explained. “If any local cops even look at them crooked we want to know. There’s a new law now. Locals who won’t conform will be sanctioned.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2012/06/30/president-says-obamacare-decision-a-victory-for-freedom/
Nuance schmuance, this is blatant illegale Hispandering.
“We won’t give your state a place to send you if they catch you.”
Well states CAN constitutionally wage war on invaders. Will Arizona be the first one with the stones to do it?
When do the impeachment proceding start?
Come on down terrorists and get your work permits !!!
It gets really confusing when the satire is actually easier to believe than the real thing.
I fail to understand what all the hullaboo is about. We all know that the illegals are only here to take the jobs that Americans won’t do. Here in my town they only do dry wall, concrete, electrical, plumbing, roofing, framing, finish carpenter, painting, and etc. They will also work 60 hours per week for $10/hour while doing so. How how can anyone get upset about this?
Roberts’ fault.
Yeah. That's it. It was too......"nuuuuuuuuanced". Those rubes in flyover country just didn't get it.
Actually, "nuanced" translates directly into "not doing a f**king thing". Try that one at work some time.
So when can close down ICE....since they’re obviously not doing anything?
The Pubbies need to defund them
The states could really light a fire under the feds by, once they had arrested illegals, do a complete biometric set on them: photos, finger and hand prints, DNA, retinal scan, facial recognition. Then create a shared information database for just the states. Not available to the feds.
Then turn them over to ICE.
This means that when ICE lets them go, fine, but if they go to one of the states in the agreement, when ID’ed as illegals, no work, no nothing. If they want to go to “blue” states and sponge off them, again fine.
Oddly enough, it would be legal to do this.
It is time to quit wasting money on border patrol agents. Bring them all home.
Per Napolitano, “The President’s Executive Order has wiped out the previous law and established a new policy for how we treat those who are in the country illegally.”
Inquiring minds want to know: Where in the Constitution does the President have the power to “wipe out” a law and replace it with his own “policy”? Why isn’t the House of Representatives instituting impeachment proceedings? Will Barack formally declare himself supreme ruler before or after the election?
This is satire, not real news; however, the line between them is becoming almost non-existent. I’m not sure whether this makes the job easier or more difficult for the Onion. This article, while satire, shows a pretty good result of the President’s Executive order.
This is satire, not real news; however, the line between them is becoming almost non-existent.
***My name john Semens. I no ken write. So I steal hedlines, real storries end slap my title on dem & call it satire. Itz mucho eazier than write my own stuff for humur.
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