Posted on 12/22/2012 5:25:53 AM PST by Reaganite Republican
That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block but since it was a cab they waved it past- I arrived home safely without incident.
I would never drive drunk. I am usually the designated driver in our family. I do drink socially at home on occasions. Drunk driving itself is not a joke but I did think we can still laugh at obvious jokes. I thought it was funny.
. I love to drink while driving It was legal at one time to do so. I drive out of No dak into So dak and i always drive rhe speed limit and I know where the HPs hide. With my CDL i am subject to a .04 standard so I only drink one beer an hour and it takes me an hour to drink ir
I’m in AZ. I was out with all mine in the desert shooting one day. As I packed up to leave I was confronted by robed and bearded awarthy men who spoke in heavily accented tones. They took my guns and told me that if I contacted the authorities to report them missing/stolen, I would be behaded and my family killed before me..
Since I understand that it’s racist to associate Muslims with any crime, I was unable to properly report the incident. Besides, who would believe me? Islam is a Religion of peace.
every trite free republic cliche in one post!
The same thing happened to me, except I took a bus. It pretty much demolished my garage.
I was a fool, a lucky fool or God was watching over me, because nothing ever happened. No accidents, no DWI. Even went through several sobriety check roadblocks with no problems. I must not look or smell drunk or something, because I was. They can be sort of scary here, with the ominous, ambulance-like black mobile courtrooms, people call them the Batmobile. Convicted right then and there.
The one night friends were convinced I was too trashed to drive home, they called a “cab” for me, an expensive proposition since I live well north of town near the lakes, over twenty miles. It wasn't a legal cab, it was an older Lincoln Towncar, the driver was a black man, nice fellow, just making a little cash on the side. Diabetic though, as I later learned. Speaking of drive throughs, he wanted to go through the Krispy Kreme drive through on the way home, he was hungry he said. I wasn't paying so fine, I said. He bought a twelve pack and ate them all in short order.
Even before we got out of the city he began weaving. Too much sugar I guess, his speech became slurred. He smacked the curb with the wheels several times. I was starting to get scared, actually. We finally got pulled over right at the city limits. He didn't do too well on the field sobriety test. Never had seen one up close like that, then out came the breathalyzer. Passed that, obviously, he wasn't drunk. The officer let him go on with a warning because he was a disabled vet, I heard the conversation.
He did get me home, to make a long story short. Wanted to sleep in his car in my driveway. i invited him in, it was cold. He said no, he did it all the time, he'd be OK. I'd need a ride back to pick up my car anyway, he'd do it for the same fare, he said. So he slept in the car.
I got up, a little groggy, sure enough there he sat. Got showered and dressed, went out, knocked on the driver side window, he woke up, let me in and we went back into town to pick up my car. Uneventful trip this time, but I was still worried, lol.
You’re still leaving out the ‘creation v. evolution’ meme. Perhaps a word on how the pitbull and the pancake bunny came into being is in order... :-)
A couple of days ago, a fellow got on my elevator as the doors were closing. He said "thanks for saving my bacon" to the fellow who held it open for him. My immediate thought was "I know that guy's not Muslim", but waited to utter that remark to a friend in confidence.
He laughed and replied, "must not be Jewish, either."
God took care of my desire to drink alcohol. I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes two months ago. I see it as a blessing, as I've taken the bull by the horns.
My eating regimen has changed drastically (it's not a diet), following 90% of the guidance from "Eat to Live" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. Haven't had a soft drink in two months, beverages limited to water and tea.
More consistent on exercising, too, 3-4 days a week, 6-8 mile weekend walks on the Campion Trail in Irving, fitness center after work 2-3 days a week (depending on my son's Cub Scout/sports/religious ed schedule).
Results so far are promising: last two weeks blood glucose readings ranged between 86-100, weight now at 190 (from 220).
My NY's resolution is simple: stay focused and determined on following the regimen. Also, get to target weight of 175, my weight at graduation from Jump School 36 years ago.
Apologies for hijacking the thread.
I'll drive a cab to that. Very good story and true too {or is it two?}.
Let's not get two series.
Very funny! Thanks for the laugh this morning!
I would reply to your posts but my computer isn’t working....
Should I check and see if it’s turned on?
However, I’m concerned to press the on button, it may stun my beeber......
Maybe I could un-duct tape the angry Islamic midget stuck on my Holiday Tree and have him press the button.....
. I love to drink while driving It was legal at one time to do so. I drive out of No dak into So dak and i always drive rhe speed limit and I know where the HPs hide. With my CDL i am subject to a .04 standard so I only drink one beer an hour and it takes me an hour to drink it
Interesting thought. I wonder if there is an age factor at play here? I tend to find fewer people younger than me that are immune. Probably the schooling changes.
BTW, my laughing woke up the wife.
I think they’re probably anti-beer, burger and fries.
*chuckle*
Oh, you didn’t get the joke. Maybe someone will explain it to you.
I was in the left fast lane, passing a large slow moving dump truck in the right lane when I came up on a pickup truck in the left lane moving at about 10 MPH. I don’t usually pass a vehicle on the right side but I signaled and tried to pass the slow moving pickup truck. Then suddenly the pickup truck swerved into my lane, almost hitting me. Then the driver of the truck slammed on their brakes in front of me, causing me to go onto the shoulder. Then the pickup truck came to an almost complete stop and then suddenly accelerated and swerved back into the left lane and then across the double yellow line and into oncoming traffic forcing several cars off the road and almost into the steep embankment and then the pickup truck swerved back across the road again and into my lane very, nearly hitting me a second time, slowed down again and then speeded up, this happened several more times and the vehicle kept swerving back and forth across the road, speeding up and slowing down.
I managed to get a plate number and called 9-11 on my cell phone to report it and then managed to get past this driver as I wanted to get as far away from him or her as possible. As I passed, I saw a young woman hunching over the steering wheel of this large and late model pickup truck, laughing and either singing or talking to herself, waving her hands in the air, obviously drunk or stoned and completely out of her mind.
Oh, it was just so funny! I laughed myself silly for the rest of my drive to work. I also laughed when I got to work and realized I had to change my underpants. Drunk drivers are just so funny – not!
Dunno. But the fact that black/gallows humor is going the way of the Dodo ‘concerns’ me greatly.
I cannot imagine the hell Sam Kinneson would get hit with in today’s environment. But we sure as hell need him. Or someone very much like him.
Look at what PC BS did to Dice Clay and Lenny Bruce.
Thats cool. Its just that a pos drunk driver really changed my childhood years and apparently my knee-jerk reaction to reading a drunk driving joke on the Freeper is to get all pissy. heh!
But just so you don't think I have no sence of humor...
WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out.
HUSBAND: "So, where is the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."
----------------------------
A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway.
Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the old lady, was knitting while driving.
Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO', the old lady yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
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