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DUmmie FUnnies 01-17-13 (Kucinich betrays DUmmies, joins Fox News!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 17, 2012 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 01/17/2013 1:16:33 PM PST by Charles Henrickson

As you can see above, at one time, the DUmmies had no greater hero than Dennis Kucinich. There was nobody they liked better. The former Boy Mayor of Cleveland, the former Wunderkind of the Cuyahoga, the truest, bluest progressive in Congress, the prog-preferred presidential aspirant in '04 and '08, and a moonbat as wacky as the DUmmies themselves--there was no one who could surpass Dennis Kucinich in the eyes of the DUmmies.

But all that has changed now. Due to Ohio losing a seat in Congress, Rep. Kucinich was forced into a primary against fellow congressperson Marcy Kaptur--and he lost! His own party betrayed him by voting for the other Democrat. Stung by his defeat, Kucinich found solace in his featured role in The Hobbit and in his hot young wife:

It's amazing, isn't it? It's kind of like if Gollum somehow managed to get Lady Galadriel to marry him:

But I digress. Where did we leave off? OK. . . . Having been betrayed by his party, the question became: What Would Kookie Do? Answer: He would betray THEM!

Lo and behold, Dennis Kucinich has signed up with FOX NEWS!! This jarring news has hit DUmmieland like a thunderbolt. The DUmmies are moving through Kübler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief, but they seem to be stuck on Anger. (BTW, would Kucinich qualify as a Kübler Elf?)

We will see the wrath of the DUmmies descend on Denny in these threads:

This THREAD, "Fox News Signs Dennis Kucinich As Contributor"; and
This THREAD, "What do you think of Dennis Kucinich joining Fox News?"; and
This THREAD, "Dennis Kucinich: It's 'Almost Silly' To Think I'd Be The Token Liberal On Fox"

So let us now watch the DUmmies DUmp on Dennis, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--not surprised that Kookie would join Fox, since he already MARRIED a fox--is in the [brackets]:

Fox News Signs Dennis Kucinich As Contributor

[Huh? Whaa--?? Surely there must be some sort of mistake here! Not our Dennis Kucinich! Oh, wait. Surely you must mean "MSNBC," not . . . not . . . ugh, FOX!!]

Fox News Channel has signed former Congressman Dennis Kucinich as a paid contributor to FNC and Fox Business network. Kucinich, who was for years a liberal stalwart in the House of Representatives, will provide analysis and commentary across all of FNC and FBN’s programs, beginning with Thursday’s edition of “The O’Reilly Factor.”

[NO! NO! IT CAN'T BE!!]

“I’ve always been impressed with Rep. Kucinich’s fearlessness and thoughtfulness about important issues,” said Fox News chairman and CEO Roger Ailes. . . .

[Ailes? I think Kucinich must have been abducted by ALIENS!]

“His willingness to take a stand from his point of view makes him a valuable voice in our country’s debate.”

[Translation: "I can use him as a token liberal punching bag. Plus, from time to time he'll bash Obama for not being liberal enough. Plus, he's an entertaining wacko. Plus, he's got a hot wife. It's all good."]

[The DUmmies react . . .]

That's JUST what Democrats need, somebody attacking them from the left on Faux Snooze.

[But isn't that exactly what you DUmmies do on DUmmieland, i.e., attack the Dems for not being proggy enough?]

Done. With. Kucinich.

[On. To. Grayson.]

What In the F***?!

[What In the FOX?!]

Dennis, Dennis, Dennis... WTF man?!

[Say it ain't so, Kookie!]

As long as he doesn't let himself be used as a punching bag it's ok.

[Uh, DUmmie, why do you think Fox signed him?]

he's a contributor, not an anchor.

[He's a contributor to your anger.]

Do you think he'll turn teabagger?

[I think he'll turn punchbagger.]

Please - Give Dennis A Chance. . . .

[All we are saying . . . is give Dennis a chance . . .]

just a little while ago - people here were bummed that he got screwed out of his Congressional seat.

[He was Kaptured by aliens!]

Oh my! Now they'll be watching Fox to dance to Kooch's toon.

[Do the Hoochie-Koochie!]

The world's oldest profession gains another employee. Walk with pride, Dennis.

[Dennis is a proud paid progstitute.]

Beyond astonished.

[Distraught. Dismayed. Disconsolate. Stepping out on the ledge.]

Now he can bash the President and get both laughs and applause.

[It's a beautiful thing.]

"Paid contributor" = blood money.

[Dennis Iscariot gets his dirty pieces of silver.]

Here is why I give Dennis no quarter. . . .

[Look, it takes a lot more than a quarter to buy off Dennis, my friend!]

Dennis is not naive enough to think he will be anything but a pawn. . . . You take money from the GOP you become their pawn. . . .

[But now he will be a pawn STAR! Heck, he and the lovely Miss Elizabeth might even get their own reality show! Let's see, what could they call it? "Say Yes to the Elf"? "Kook Boss"? "Here Comes Denny Koo Koo"? ("A dolla makes me holla, Denny Koo Koo!")]

What do you think of Dennis Kucinich joining Fox News?

[There's a poll on this for the DUmmies to answer. Right now the results look like this . . .]

57% Cha-Ching... He needs a war chest and it's a paycheck!
22% He thinks he can win over F***ed up Fox News watchers!
7% Fox News thinks they need him to keep up ratings!
14% Other reason. . . .

[Most of the DUmmies got this one mostly right--follow the dollar signs. But a "war chest"?? Do you really think Kookie is going to run for office again? Say, on second thought, you may be on to something! KUCINICH 2016! Go for it!]

They hired him to make Fox viewers think all left leaning people are extreme and far out of the mainstream.

[Which . . . they are.]

He is too marginal to marginalize. As to his credibility, he destroyed that with many people when he did not accept the primary was fair.

[Dennis the Minus.]

If he is that stupid, to hell with him. If he is not and still does this, I hope he goes straight to HELL!

[Feel the love!]

What do you think of Harpo as one of the Marx Brothers? They'll trot him out to honk a horn and then throw a pie in his face whenever the occasion warrants.

[Kookie is a combination of Harpo and Karlo Marx.]

They hired him because he's amusing. And he can tin foil with the best of them.

[Kookie is Comedy GOLD!]

You forgot... Meh! That's my response. Of course, if you had included "Meh!" I wouldn't have voted for it. Such is the Zen of Meh!

[Dennis the Meh-ness.]

Fox News wants him for ratings; he wants it for the moolah. He's also an extremist in some areas; Fox News likes to have on liberals who are either not effective communicators, almost Republican, or irritating extremists (to the Fox News viewer...validating the viewers' view that liberals are wackos). Note that these are not MY views of Kucinich...these are what Fox viewers would think.

[Yeah, right! Those ARE your views, you, you. . . LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

They obviously think they can make Kuch look ridiculous. . . .

[Not much of a stretch.]

I'm disappointed.

[Dennis tries to console the disappointed DUmmie . . .]

Apparently they need another "Hannity and Colmes"-style show.

[They can call this one "Insanity & Colmes" . . .]

Dennis Kucinich: It's “Almost Silly” To Think I'd Be The Token Liberal On Fox

[Dennis has spoken, and he's no token!]

he says it's "almost silly" to think that he'll be a kind of token. "I'm way past that in my life and career," Kucinich said. . . . "That's almost silly."

[That's one token over the line!]

yeah, it's just soo fookin' noble to be sucking off the Murdoch/Ailes teat.

[Dennis, someone ain't buyin' what you're sellin'.]

Ahh now the haters demand "purity". . . .

[Haters gonna hate.]

I have lost all respect for Kucinich. Sell Out is a much too kind description of him.

["Judas" is more like it! He made a Faustian, Fauxian deal with the devil!]

Now they'll attack Obama from the right and the left.

[Happy Inauguration Day, Mr. President! Four more years!]

Currently, Fox attacks him from the right. DUers attack him from the left. Fair. and Balanced.

[Hee! Hee!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: denniskucinich; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; fox; foxnews; kucinich

Now he's a TELEvisionary! w00t!


1 posted on 01/17/2013 1:16:36 PM PST by Charles Henrickson
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

PING!


2 posted on 01/17/2013 1:19:33 PM PST by Charles Henrickson ("A dolla makes me holla, Denny Koo Koo!")
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

PING!


3 posted on 01/17/2013 1:20:26 PM PST by Charles Henrickson ("A dolla makes me holla, Denny Koo Koo!")
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To: Charles Henrickson
Now they'll attack Obama from the right and the left.

Wait till they figure out that Obama's photo op with his little human shields was a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing.
4 posted on 01/17/2013 1:23:34 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Read the whole thing.

Top 10


5 posted on 01/17/2013 1:28:37 PM PST by NeoCaveman (Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn)
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To: Charles Henrickson
DUmmie FUnnies | January 17, 2012 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Oops!

6 posted on 01/17/2013 1:30:49 PM PST by Charles Henrickson ("A dolla makes me holla, Denny Koo Koo!")
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To: Charles Henrickson

FNC doesn’t want to be seen as conservative anymore


7 posted on 01/17/2013 1:35:07 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Charles Henrickson

KooKucinich is our new token! hahaha


8 posted on 01/17/2013 1:43:46 PM PST by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: rockrr

Say what you will about Dennis, but he has never tried to hide who he is or what he believes (unlike just about any Republican I could mention).


9 posted on 01/17/2013 1:46:20 PM PST by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Buckeye McFrog

10


10 posted on 01/17/2013 1:56:28 PM PST by Mercat (To love another person is to see the face of God.)
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To: Buckeye McFrog
Say what you will about Dennis, but he has never tried to hide who he is or what he believes

I'll tell you something else. Ask a Republican a question, and you'll get a Republican talking point as an answer. Ask a Democrat a question, and you'll get a Democrat talking point as an answer.

Ask Kucinich a question, and you'll get his actual opinion (as goofy as it might be). You don't get just the party line from him. I respect that.

11 posted on 01/17/2013 1:56:32 PM PST by Leaning Right
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To: GeronL

Many years ago when I was young and in college I read a lot of WF Buckley. Now I cannot remember his exact quote, or what book it is from, but I will try to paraphrase.

He said, don’t let the enemy in your house, but if you do, only let him in so you can spit on him.

I would appreciate the exact quote if someone would provide it.

bobo


12 posted on 01/17/2013 1:57:38 PM PST by bobo1 (the KDE plasma desktop is awesome!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Dennis is not naive enough to think he will be anything but a pawn. . . . You take money from the GOP you become their pawn. . . .

Dennis got PaWNED!

13 posted on 01/17/2013 2:03:36 PM PST by mikrofon (Latest Pawn Star)
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To: Charles Henrickson; Ravnagora

In other news, Al Jazeera has signed me—Honorary Serb—as a Contributor for their new U.S. channel!!!!!


14 posted on 01/17/2013 2:14:06 PM PST by Honorary Serb (Kosovo is Serbia! Free Srpska! Abolish ICTY!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’ll watch if they put his wife on too!


15 posted on 01/17/2013 2:18:33 PM PST by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Incorrigible; PJ-Comix
I’ll watch if they put his wife on too!

I mean, this is truly amazing:

How did he manage THIS?


16 posted on 01/17/2013 2:42:34 PM PST by Charles Henrickson ("A dolla makes me holla, Denny Koo Koo!")
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To: Charles Henrickson

Just amazing. She is quite stunning.
Can’t imagine why he’d ever want to leave home to
go hang out in the Fox Green Room.


17 posted on 01/17/2013 2:47:44 PM PST by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Charles Henrickson

It looks like this will be a Double DUFU day since WILLIAM RIVERS PITT wants to know what is happening here at the Free Republic. Are you sure you really want to know, Pitt? Somehow I think he will highly regret wondering that aloud. Hee! Hee!


18 posted on 01/17/2013 2:51:12 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Currently, Fox attacks him from the right. DUers attack him from the left. Fair. and Balanced.

[Hee! Hee!]

Was that you, Charles? :P

19 posted on 01/17/2013 3:08:08 PM PST by LUV W (All my heroes wear camos!)
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To: franksolich; Ballygrl; gardencatz; PJ-Comix
Oh my!

Is that you, franksolich?

20 posted on 01/17/2013 3:15:31 PM PST by Charles Henrickson ("A dolla makes me holla, Denny Koo Koo!")
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To: PJ-Comix

Waiting.........waiting.........


21 posted on 01/17/2013 3:24:48 PM PST by LUV W (All my heroes wear camos!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Let's see, what could they call it?

(Kucinich actual size)

22 posted on 01/17/2013 3:39:48 PM PST by Libloather (The epitome of civility.)
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To: Leaning Right
Ask Kucinich a question, and you'll get his actual opinion (as goofy as it might be)

Sort of like "our" own kook, Ron Paul! :)

23 posted on 01/17/2013 3:48:22 PM PST by LUV W (All my heroes wear camos!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
How did he manage THIS?

Is he a free climber or does he use ropes?

24 posted on 01/17/2013 3:54:08 PM PST by Stentor (Shhhh!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I fully approve of the decision of FOX News to hire Dennis the Menace....AS LONG AS HE’S ALWAYS ACCOMPANIED BY HIS WIFE!!! VA VA VOOM!!!!!!!


25 posted on 01/17/2013 4:02:12 PM PST by driftless2
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To: Charles Henrickson
"how did he manage"

Trolls with money and/or power can always get the hot women. Let's just say if Dennis worked at the public library, we would not be seeing him with a woman who looked like that.

26 posted on 01/17/2013 4:05:42 PM PST by driftless2
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To: driftless2

Money and power, that’s it. I don’t have much of either, so I rely on my charm and my looks.


27 posted on 01/17/2013 4:16:02 PM PST by Charles Henrickson ("A dolla makes me holla, Denny Koo Koo!")
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To: Charles Henrickson

Conspiracy Theory 1: Faux Snooze needed someone kookier than Bob Beckel to keep his foul mouth in line

Conspiracy Theory 2: They need someone shorter than Greg Gutfeld to helm Red Eye should Greg decide to move on.

Conspiracy Theory 3: The whole thing is just a contact peyote hallucination I’m having while watching Young Guns and it is actually still 1988.


28 posted on 01/17/2013 5:27:13 PM PST by Duke Nukum (I know writers who use subtext and they're all cowards.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Maybe he’s the Doctor and she is Amy Pond and Doctor Who is based on his life?


29 posted on 01/17/2013 5:33:02 PM PST by Duke Nukum (I know writers who use subtext and they're all cowards.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Speaking of betrayals, WILLIAM RIVERS PITT betrayed Dennis Kucinich while acting as his press secretary. Yes, Pitt pretended to be helping Kucinich while handing insider campaign documents to the Kerry campaign in 2004. Kucinich presented no threat to Kerry but Pitt wanted to earn brownie points from Kerry by leaking the documents to him. When Kucinich found out, he promptly FIRED Pitt.

Gotta post this on the other thread since I know Pitt & Co. will be reading it.

30 posted on 01/17/2013 7:27:53 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’ll watch if they put his wife on too!


Think with your brain, man. She must be a total mental case, not to mention something very defective about her. I would like to talk to other men she stalked and made miserable their lives before she settled for this little troll.


31 posted on 01/19/2013 9:14:01 AM PST by submarinerswife (Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results~Einstein)
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