Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Oscars: An American Embarrassment!!!
Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 2-25-2013 | MOTUS

Posted on 02/27/2013 6:12:21 AM PST by NOBO2012

I wasn’t going to do a review of the Oscars today, because really: what’s the point? I was planning to skip my commentary and just link you to this guy, who seems to know more about Hollywood than anyone could possibly wish to know.

Then, it happened: Lady M decided to butt in, so now I’ve got to say something about the Academy Awards. So here goes: Worst. Oscars. Ever.

o om

Seriously bad. Worse than a bad migraine bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. And not just because our First Lady decided her presence would add something to the most egregious showcase of self-love ever invented.

Harvey Weinstein (who’s been to the Big White nearly as often as George Clooney and Ben Affleck) was the brain behind Lady M’s surprise appearance as the presenter of the BEST PICTURE of the year. For Harvey the biggest surprise was that neither of his movies (Django and Silver Linings) won. That honor went to Ben Affleck’s Argo. Welcome to our world, Harvey. In politics if your opponent is willing and able to buy more votes than you are, he WINs, you lose! Pretty simple. So while you were busy buying the wrapping for your present, Mr. Affleck was still negotiating with the delivery agents. I hope you learned something there.

(snip)And for the cynics who said Lady M wouldn’t pay a bit of attention to the military once she had re-upped for four more years, please note that she chose members of the military as her props backdrop escorts for the Oscars.

mo twinkle lights best picture

Although frankly, I thought the whole “beam me up” Scotty meme was just a little tacky. I kept expecting either Captain Kirk or Lady M to offer me a special on a round-trip, Price Line, all expenses included vacation package.

 william shatner

Now, as long as I’m here covering the Oscars against my will, I might as well announce my awards too:

Most drop-dead gorgeous, despite the pixie hair: Charlize! Hands down.

25oscars-arrivals2charlize theron

Best cosmetic surgeon in Hollywood: Hanoi Jane – you would never guess she was ninety five.

jane fonda 44

Runner up: Babs. She never looked better. Really, never.

babs

Strangest bodice treatment on her gown: Reese Witherspoon

161313049PH00232_85th_Annua

Although this 1950 super-bra construction seems to making a strong comeback on the fashion runway:

gala-oscar-34-640x640x80Nora Jones makes retro fashion classy

Neither of the above examples were as original as Jennifer Lawrence’s boob bra dress with wing cups at the “Golden Globes” though.

561x401

Speaking of Jennifer Lawrence: she looked gorgeous last night! Butt seriously – I think I’d consider getting another stylist next year. One who doesn’t hate me.

whoops jennifer too much dressjen lawrence malfunction

Whoops! too much dress. Whoops! Not enough dress.

Either that, or stop winning: those stairs are not your friend, honey.

The real winners last night were all the singers: Jennifer Hudson, Adele, Nora, etc.. I predicted the return of musicals shortly after Big Guy’s First Immaculation when it became clear we were headed for a deep and long recession. In the past, Hollywood has always produced musicals for our diversion during hard times. My prediction turned out to be 4 years premature, probably because Hollywood believed BO and Joe’s line about “our summer of recovery.” Plus it’s harder to find people who can sing and dance than it is to find actors to play vampires and zombies.

(snip)Well, that’s all I’ve got time for. If you’re still suffering from an Oscar hangover, here’s my prescription:

Jim-Beam-Black-Manhattan Jim Beam Black: Take two and call me in the morning

I hope that’s not racist.


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: obama; oscar

1 posted on 02/27/2013 6:12:24 AM PST by NOBO2012
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: NOBO2012
I don't think those are military behind Michelle....More like Oscar ushers...and/or security in drag.

Pay attention....The show was all about "gay".

2 posted on 02/27/2013 6:23:02 AM PST by Sacajaweau
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Comment #3 Removed by Moderator

To: Sacajaweau

The gays aren’t happy with just having The Tony Awards.


4 posted on 02/27/2013 6:25:27 AM PST by dfwgator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: dfwgator

Read about Seth MacFarlane at wiki....


5 posted on 02/27/2013 6:29:39 AM PST by Sacajaweau
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Sacajaweau
Whoever staged Bangs thought that military dress uniforms were fancier than plain tuxedos. It's the medals you know.
And the sleeve rank braid. Oooh, shiny.

And to think she could have had that Shabazz guy and his soldiers from the New Black Panthers, whose uniforms have even more medals and shiny stuff.

At least our US military props didn't have to carry Bangs in on a litter and wave ostrich feather fans as she spoke. Cleopatra style, (she gots the hair). Now THAT would have been Cecil B. DeMille-style Hollywood!

Bangs is not the first WH grifter to use the military as props. Hillary Clinton's staff once ordered WH military er aides (decorated officers) to help serve drinks at a WH receptions because their uniforms were more impressive that the WH waiters.

Seriously

6 posted on 02/27/2013 6:53:42 AM PST by silverleaf (Age Takes a Toll: Please Have Exact Change)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: All
AN EVITA WANNABE--POWER'S GONE TO HER KOOKY BANGED-UP HEAD

--- tweeted Walter Kirn, who writes for the liberal journal The New Republic----"seeing Obama lavishly gowned, replete with jewels, and, of all things, military guards, was a 'Creepy South American totalitarian-lite vibe....'"

NY Post opined: "Even President Ronald Reagan never busted in live on the Oscars, and Reagan was an actual movie star, academy member, and former president of the Screen Actors Guild. (Reagan taped a non-self-aggrandizing “enjoy the show” welcome for the March 30, 1981, Oscars — which had to be delayed because he was shot that very day.)" (EXCERPT--NYP Oscar Review 2/26)

7 posted on 02/27/2013 6:56:21 AM PST by Liz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: NOBO2012

The last time I watched the Oscars was back about 1976 or 1977.

I began to loose interest in such shows back in the early 1960s when as a young kid we were watching out Black and White Zenith TV, on edge to see who would win!

Then my dad flipped on the radio and they already had the winner an hour before we saw who won.

It was never the same after that.


8 posted on 02/27/2013 7:18:59 AM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar (THE SOUND OF MUSIC at the POTEET THEATRE in OKC! See our murals before they are painted over!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

Surprised to hear about them ~ after they’d happened this time. Usually don’t catch much of ‘em ~ but the pictures here are interesting ~ every single one of these women has a part of her upper lip that is thicker than the rest and it looks crooked. Were they all born with hairlips perhaps? You know they abort the hairlip babies these days.


9 posted on 02/27/2013 7:35:30 AM PST by muawiyah
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: NOBO2012

They lost me (actually, they never had me) after the “joke” about John Wilkes Booth getting into Lincoln’s head.


10 posted on 02/27/2013 7:48:01 AM PST by anoldafvet
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: muawiyah

***Were they all born with hairlips perhaps?***

Nah, they just got mad at at their boyfriends and hit them in the fist with their lips.


11 posted on 02/27/2013 7:57:36 AM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar (THE SOUND OF MUSIC at the POTEET THEATRE in OKC! See our murals before they are painted over!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: silverleaf
We went to the "Palace Theatre" when I was young....say 60 years ago.

All the theatre personnel wore those outfits...with rank and all. It was a time when you were ushered to your seats which were leather and velvet. My dad knew the owner so we always had passes.

12 posted on 02/27/2013 8:30:44 AM PST by Sacajaweau
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: muawiyah
"You know they abort the hairlip babies these days.>

They do what?!?

13 posted on 02/27/2013 9:30:59 AM PST by Boogieman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson