DUmmie FUnnies 10-07-13 ("This Land's Not Your Land": DUmmies down with Obama's park shutdown)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 7, 2013 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

[Charles Henrickson]

"And you shall set limits for the people all around, saying, 'Take care not to go up into the mountain or touch the edge of it. Whoever touches the mountain shall be put to death.'" (Exodus 19:12)

Mount Rushmore has become Mount Sinai. Lord Obama has declared it. Even though the partial "government shutdown" affects only a small percentage of federal spending, and the Chief Executive has the discretion to manage and adjust and prioritize accordingly, the Offended One is determined to make the "shutown" as visible and as miserable as possible, so that he can blame the eeevil Rethuglicans. And so King Obama has chosen to close public access to our National Parks and National Monuments. This may backfire in his face, but Boy President is throwing a little temper tantrum, and he wants ordinary Americans to suffer.

The DUmmies are down with what Our President is doing, as per usual. They too want to blame the Rethugs, and they don't care who it inconveniences--as long as they themselves are not inconvenienced. Just witness this THREAD, "Anyone know...can you still GET IN to National Parks?"

But before we get to the DUmmies, it's time to have King Obama sing us a song! Click the music link and sing along:

THIS LAND'S NOT YOUR LAND
Tune: "This Land Is Your Land"
As sung by King Obama

This land's not your land, this land is my land
Shut down or open, it comes from my hand
From Barack Obama to the bitter clingers:
This land's not made for you to see

If you go driving an interstate highway
And see an orange cone, you'll do it my way
You will obey me and not go forward
This land's not made for you to see

This land's not your land, this land is my land
Shut down or open, it comes from my hand
From Barack Obama to the bitter clingers:
This land's not made for you to see

You'll want to travel and go to Mount Rushmore
But at Rapid City, you won't go much more
Guards will surround you, their voices sounding:
This land's not made for you to see

This land's not your land, this land is my land
Shut down or open, it comes from my hand
From Barack Obama to the bitter clingers:
This land's not made for you to see

If you oppose me, I'll make you suffer
Come near memorials, I'll put up a buffer
I am Obama, I am your land lord
This land's not made for you to see

This land's not your land, this land is my land
Shut down or open, it comes from my hand
From Barack Obama to the bitter clingers:
This land's not made for you to see

If you go looking, you'll see a sign there
And on the sign it says: "There's No Trespassing"
And on the other side: "No Looking or Nothing!"
Both sides were made for you to see

This land's not your land, this land is my land
Shut down or open, it comes from my hand
From Barack Obama to the bitter clingers:
This land's not made for you to see

At the Redwood Forest, in the land of the Canyons
By the Gulfstream Waters, you'll see my minions
As they stand there guarding, you'll stand there wond'ring:
Is this land safe for me to see?

This land's not your land, this land is my land
Shut down or open, it comes from my hand
From Barack Obama to the bitter clingers:
This land's not made for you to see

No one can stop me, my mind is made up
As I go putting my Barrycades up
Nobody living can make me give your land back
This land's not made for you to see

New voices:

But King Obama, this land is our land
So shut your piehole, you can go pound sand
From the bitter clingers to Barack Obama:
This land was founded to be free

This land ain't your land, this land is our land
So shut your piehole, you can go pound sand
From the bitter clingers to Barack Obama:
This land was founded to be free

So with that, let us now go to the DUmmies. Fortunately for us, DUmmieland National Park is NOT closed. Their comments are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, the wag tailoring the doggerel, is in the [Barackets]:

Anyone know...can you still GET IN to National Parks?

[Just because you can get in doesn't mean you'll get out.]

I mean, will they block off the roads?

[Yes. It's all for your safety, though. Lord Obama will protect you from those eeevil Rethuglicans who are to blame for everything bad in the world.]

Thinking of taking a drive to Bryce Canyon this weekend. . . .

[Bryce yourself for a shock.]

Trailheads are always open. . . .

[The feds need their target practice.]

No: Day use visitors will be instructed to leave the park immediately as part of Phase 1 closures.

[Phasers will be set on "Stun."]

we are not permitted to be there. . . .

[King Obama says so. But one day, perhaps, Dear Leader will be gracious and let us back in.]

gates will be closed and people arriving turned away. If you're already there, you get 48 hours to leave.

[Or 24 business hours, whichever comes first.]

I do wonder if they're going to scour the backcountry as well. . . .

[Release the hounds!]

What about roads through parks?

[Landmines.]

The Arizona memorial in Pearl Harbor is closed. . . .

[By a dolt who will live in infamy.]

Yellowstone is blocked. . . .

[And Yogi Bear has been evicted from Jellystone.]

Mt. Rushmore is closed.

[This poor woman tried to get in, and they chased her halfway up to the mountain:]

Here in Philly, people are still walking past Hall and the Bell, but can't get in.

[Philadelphia Freedom.]

What You Can and Can't Do During the Government Shutdown

[What you can do: Blame Rethuglicans. What you can't do: Criticize Dear Leader.]

Of course, all of the park facilities along the road will be closed, but they CAN NOT stop you from parking your car on the shoulder, hopping out, or taking in the view while stretching your legs.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! You know, the Hope and Change Mental Rehabilitation Centers are still OPEN.]

Anyone near Rocky Mountain National Park?

[Not anymore!]

some of the longer trails in Bryce begin outside the park entrance...I wonder if people would be found getting in that way...and I wonder how well staffed the place is to be able to patrol that.

[Well staffed. Don't try it. There is no staff to keep the park open. All of the staff is being used to keep people out. Go figure.]

You can go in, but if you fall and break your ankle, it'll be a long, lonely crawl.

[And if a ranger finds you, he'll kneecap you, just to teach you a lesson.]

Nonsense. I'm sure there would be a wolf or bear to stave off the loneliness.

[WEAR THE BEAR!]

Parks Closed, Moose out front should have told you.

"No you can't!"

Avert you eyes, no unauthorized wildlife viewing allowed !

[And then there was this guy, who tried to get a glimpse of Mount Rushmore:]

"I TOLD you: Do NOT look at the mountain!"

[Elsie]

I've seen reports that the govvies are doing just that around places like Mt. Rushmore - telling drivers they can't stop on the roadside.

Didn't that happen iun the Devil's Tower movie - Close Encounters of the Federal Kind?