Posted on 01/04/2014 9:16:01 AM PST by John Semmens
Newly inaugurated New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio told those attending the ceremony that he would “put an end to inequality in this City. For too long we have tolerated a situation where some have had too much while others have had too little.”
The first step toward Blasio’s egalitarian utopia will be the elimination of Central Park horse-drawn carriage rides, which the Mayor labeled “frivolous and degrading. First of all, horses represent an inefficient form of transportation. Anything horses can do electric cars can do better. Carriages pulled by electric cars would enable people to tour Central Park more effectively and with less pollution.”
“Secondly, horse-drawn carriages convey an image of aristocracy,” de Blasio continued. “This is an image we should be extirpating from our consciousness. A person overpaying for these posh jaunts humiliates everyone who can’t afford to do the same. The excuse that it is ‘harmless recreation’ and that it provides jobs cannot override its negative impact on people’s psyches.”
The Mayor doesn’t have the last word on this. The City Council must approve the ban before it can take effect. If it does, 200 drivers will lose their jobs and 200 horses will likely be shipped off to slaughterhouses to be made into dog food.
In related news, New York City’s Department of Investigation conducted a test to ascertain the probability of success for vote fraud. In the test, undercover agents went to various polling places and made 61 attempts to fraudulently obtain a ballot. On 39 occasions they used the names of dead people, 14 times they used the names of incarcerated felons, and eight times used the names of non-residents. They were denied ballots only twice. De Blasio discounted the significance of the findings by maintaining that “to my knowledge, very few elections in this city have been decided by as few as 59 votes. So I’d have to say that the fears that fraud might play a decisive role in who gets elected are way overblown.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2014/01/04/difficulty-adding-newborns-to-obamacare-not-a-glitch-says-sebelius/
Agreed. Yours is the most obvious point: If this millionaire is so concerned about inequality, why not start by distributing his wealth (equally, of course) among NYC’s homeless?
New York City - Detroit on the Hudson........
Is he going to put Bloomberg’s and his own money where his mouth is?
“Crush inequality”?? No more affirmative action? No more quotas? No more PC?
Would love to see the NYSE move the hell out of New York to a Right to Work state like Indiana.
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