Posted on 02/06/2014 7:28:51 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet
1. Coming to the door to pick someone up.
I think we’ve all had it with the incredibly unromantic “here” text, and meeting up always seems to be more casual and platonic than the alternative. Of course, meeting someone from online or any circumstance like that would probably be the exception to this rule, but generally: the 30 seconds it takes to get out of a car or cab and knock on the door makes a huge difference.
2. Trying to dress really nicely for a date.
“Nicely” means different things for different people, so I think it’s just a matter of putting effort into how you put yourself together to go out with someone. It’s not about wearing suits and petticoats again, but just realizing that, whether or not we like to accept it, appearance does count for something, and we should do our best to make sure that our appearance says something about us, in whatever way we’d like it to.
3. Bringing flowers or other tokens of affection to the first date.
Now, many lucky ladies (and some men) I know get this regularly, and in fact, I have myself as well, but only ever with people I’d been dating for a while. I think there’s something to be said for bringing flowers to the door on your first date. It’s become uncool because it’s forward and it’s a gesture that confirms their interest, but we should definitely get past that idea and worry more about how we’re going to let someone know we really do care and appreciate that they want to spend time with us.
4. Going dancing that’s not grinding on a grimy club floor.
Whatever happened to this? Dancing for the sake of dancing, like fun, not essentially sex on a dance floor dancing. What’s a better way to literally shake off nerves than seeing them bust a really dorky move on a dance floor? And the art of slow dancing has generally been lost, though I’ve been one to do it in my living room with my slightly coerced significant other, and I’ll tell you he’s said on numerous occasions it ended up being one of the most romantic nights we had together.
5. Straightforwardly asking someone out and not calling it “hanging out.”
Or, as is very popular these days, “talking.” “Oh, we’re just… talking.” As in, seeing one another and speaking frequently as to get to know each other? So… dating? We’ve found these really convenient ways to skirt around the issue of having to put our hearts on the line, but honestly, it just ends up being messy and confusing for all parties involved. There’s no need to go back to the idea of courting or anything, unless you want to, but simply being direct about whether or not you’d like to go on a date with someone is a truly lost art, one that really shouldn’t be.
6. Additionally, being clear about when you’re “going steady.”
Oh, the awkward, “so… are we… you know… what are we?” talk. Classic. We should go back to asking one another if the other person would like to “go steady” or something. There’s something about asking them if they’d like to rather than assuming that you are or aren’t anything that’s just very cute, in my opinion.
7. Romantic gestures like writing poems.
Writing poems may not be for you, I know mine would look something like “Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate poetry but I love you.” I literally just made that up thank you please quote me when you inevitably post that gem on Tumblr. But seriously, like a handwritten letter in the mail or just surprising them with something you made even if it looks like the macaroni necklace you made when you were 5 is cute just because you tried and were thinking of them.
8. Turning electronics off and just being with one another.
I’m not sure there is anything worse than the person who picks up their phone and starts staring at it in the middle of dinner, or at any point while you’re together and having a conversation. I’m not anti-technology here (hello, I work for the Internet) but I am saying that there comes a time to turn it off and disconnect and remember what actually matters. People.
9. The general concept of asking permission for things.
It used to be principle for people to say: oh, when can I see you? Or, when could I call you? Rather than just assuming they can at any point. But I think that old concept could be applied to our modern world by just assuming that, unless told otherwise, you should ask permission to you know, touch them anywhere, take them out, call them at a certain time, etc. Once you’re in a relationship these things usually don’t require asking anymore, but some do, especially when it comes to sexuality. I once knew a person who said that they asked permission before so much as touching a girl’s thigh, and that always stuck with me.
10. Not assuming sex is to be had at any point in time.
Now, I’m certainly not saying it should go back to being a taboo that’s unspoken of, but we certainly shouldn’t expect it from someone on the third date, on the first date, because they’re being flirty, because you know they’re into you, or even because they agreed to go out with you. A date does not have to be a precursor to sex, and you shouldn’t be disappointed if it isn’t because you should never assume that it will be. It depends on the person you’re with and what they want to do. TC Mark
Those are absolutely BRILLIANT! I guess I’m really fortunate that my girls have shown good taste in who they allow over.
Hmm, let’s see:
“1. Coming to the door to pick someone up.”
I always do this. I might give a call ahead to let them know I’ll be there in a few minutes, but not going to the door just seems rude to me.
“2. Trying to dress really nicely for a date.”
Again, this is something I always seem to do. Dressing sharp for a date is never a bad thing, and it doesn’t have to be suit and tie.
“3. Bringing flowers or other tokens of affection to the first date.”
Okay, that one’s not happening. First dates are first dates for a reason, and I’d feel like a dork bringing a corsage or something to someone I don’t know that well yet.
“4. Going dancing that’s not grinding on a grimy club floor.”
Not an issue for me. I hate dancing, and the only dance I *do* know is the straight white guy “left foot, right foot, left foot again.”
“5. Straightforwardly asking someone out and not calling it “hanging out.””
Generally agree, though I have known women who were in that gray area where we kinda hung out as friends and kinda liked each other, too.
“6. Additionally, being clear about when you’re “going steady.””
Yeah, I think that’s a fair point.
“7. Romantic gestures like writing poems.”
LOL, NO!!! That is just not happening, darlin’.
“8. Turning electronics off and just being with one another.”
Seems a no brainer, unless you’re dating an on-call surgeon. Any woman who took a non-emergency call during dinner or whatever would be a woman I would not ask out again.
“9. The general concept of asking permission for things.”
Especially if it involves the use of an eggbeater, or nitrous oxide. /jk
“10. Not assuming sex is to be had at any point in time.”
Um, I’m a GUY. It’s kind of in my genetic makeup to at least *hope* for that outcome. :-)
God bless you dear. And your family.
You’d be surprised. I managed to get two daughters through their teens and into their twenties. I’ve seen most of these at one time or another. The best one was when the newly minted 2lt looked me in the eye, shook my hand and said, “nice to meet you sir.”
My heart melted just a little. I like being called sir.
I wouldn’t
Then you have no idea what the moseys were 200 years ago. You think they were the same as when you grew up.
Oh, I see how it is, the grandchildren aren't outstanding… must be part of that useless millennial generation. *shakes cane* Bah!
(Just messing with you. [;)])
When did you grow up 1st Division guy? Maybe they were the same.
*duck and run*
There was probably a ten year period in the 100,000 year history of humans where young swains jumped out of the car, ran around and opened the door for their date.
But we are less human because boys don’t do that anymore.
Consider yourselves lucky, or God was in the mix. I wonder how many “blind dates” work out well.
I was 45 when I realized that I was never going to be "cool."
I think that some of the customs 200 years ago were charming. They’d all flip out if they saw how people conduct themselves nowadays.
It is common sense to watch out for others and see they get into the house, no matter who it is. A book on good manners could be a valuable teaching tool for many.
For those of us who were "plopped down" many years ago, we've lived to see incredible insanity. If we haven't gone over the cliff yet, we're standing right on the edge.
Did you really bring her flowers on your first date? LOL
That should be on the list, too. For a while, I dated a man who did just that - opened the car door for me. He also strictly adhered to numbers 3, 5, 6, 8, and 9 on the list. He seemed to be such a gentleman, but eventually I found out that he didn't believe in #10. ;-) So much for being a gentleman. I'm a church-going woman, so ended the dating.
I think I should show my sons the whole list for when they start dating.
Nah - if I don’t see 1-3 at a minimum I won’t let the girls out the door... course the rest I’ve coached em on and they can hold their own with ‘the boys’ in a fight.
Having been an Ensign (2nd LT better :) I can state unequivocally that he had you in one line... have your blade at the ready always you can’t assume based on the nice words :)
I still open the car door for my wife of 20 years and sometimes it annoys her... but it’s the right thing to do.
“Tomorrow is our 55th anniversary, and all that Kate lists was understood at the time.”
Cool, you’ve got us beat by 10 years...
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