First Lady Calls for More Stringent Food Regulations

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 1 March 2014 | John Semmens

[Little Bill]

Have you ever watched women food shop, stop, look, ponder, read the label, put it back, ponder, read the label again, hold in hand, ponder, buy or not buy. It is the quizzical look that all women have when pondering trying to derive mystical information from a box that I find amazing.

I go in with a menu buy what I need and get out.

[Ellendra]

You got me again. It’s just too hard to tell anymore!

[Ellendra]

Latest though is our quest to find sugar free peanut butter for my diet. I’m going to have to go to one of those hippy dippy health food stores like Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods.

Depending on how long your diet will last (3-week slimdown or permanant change?) you could make your own with a good sturdy food processor.

[Ellendra]

Whoops, I see I wasn't the first to say that. Sorry for the repetition!

[Ellendra]

I admit to doing that myself, but usually because some brand that I used to like decided to start adding something I’m allergic to. Since what I’m allergic to can go by many different names, it really can be confusing.

Eventually, I’m just going to have to grow everything I eat.

[Little Bill]

I see it mostly in younger women, the ones with 3 or 4 crumb crunchers, I think motherhood is coming back in style among younger white women in my area.

I cook from scratch and generally look for freshness. I found out many years ago that it takes about the same amount of time to cook from scratch than to open a can.

It is funny to watch people shop but then again I am old.

[thecodont]

Adams 100% Natural Peanut Butter (regular or crunchy, salted or unsalted) is 100% natural (just peanuts and maybe salt), and it is made by Smuckers. It is available at “regular” grocery stores (i.e. Safeway).

[jch10]

Speak for yourself, Michelle. We need no more food rules from you or Washington.

[Dick Bachert]

Who appointed Moochelle Dietary Czarina?

[NOVACPA]

Make it yourself at home in the food processor.

Peanuts, peanut oil, salt.

[Mercat]

Good idea except its below freezing outside and the streets are treacherous. In the meantime I’m eating and enjoying pecans and almonds. yum

[RobinOfKingston]

Small people who strut and push their chests out. “Look,” they say, “look at me. I will regulate you until you bleed.”

Evil people who know nothing else.

Small people who found themselves at the helm of something larger than they can ever understand. They can either crawl down and manipulate the levers and handles that make the machine move faster or slower, or they can climb up on the seat and hop higher to peer fleetingly out at the world.

Small people. Small in mind, small in heart, emotionally diminished, morally and ethically stunted, small people.

[MomwithHope]

Now those moms are the “knuckleheads” for not knowing how to shop.