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Will you get these 20 jokes meant for really brainy people?
The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-12-14 | The Looking Spoon

Posted on 03/12/2014 9:46:13 AM PDT by The Looking Spoon

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To: Woodman

In my case, as a programmer (most of the time), I would ask what they meant and make them state it. Likely, the ones who write for me would never write that. However, the tester interpretation is always open for discussion.


151 posted on 03/12/2014 4:07:23 PM PDT by Ingtar (The NSA - "We're the only part of government who actually listens to the people.")
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To: The Looking Spoon; All

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where his skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had
obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor,
saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding
result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?”

The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart
perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine
back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.”

After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because
you did it all through the muffler, which I’ve never seen done in my
entire career”.


152 posted on 03/12/2014 4:30:17 PM PDT by musicman (Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
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To: ShadowAce

It’s a typo. Oct 31 = 3*8 +1

I typed a 2 by mistake the math is correct


153 posted on 03/12/2014 5:36:18 PM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: JusPasenThru

Nice


154 posted on 03/12/2014 5:36:52 PM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: Loud Mime

The one about the programmer and loaves of bread was very good.

It was for me also. I worked with a programmer years ago who would have brought home the 12 loaves.


155 posted on 03/12/2014 7:05:40 PM PDT by Joan Kerrey (The larger the government, the smaller the people)
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To: Billthedrill

See and I thought entropy was an eye condition.


156 posted on 03/12/2014 7:12:37 PM PDT by JouleZ (You are the company you keep.)
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To: JusPasenThru
There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

That reminded me of a joke ascribed to humorist Robert Benchley (famous during 20s-40s): There are two types of people in this world. Those who divide people into two types and those who don't.

I really enjoyed this thread and thankful to all who contributed but especially to those who explained the ones I did not get. As corny as some of them were, it was a laugh out loud experience.

157 posted on 03/12/2014 8:05:55 PM PDT by Robwin
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To: musicman
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where his skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?” The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.” After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career”.

Can I borrow that one? I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, thanks!
158 posted on 03/12/2014 8:25:38 PM PDT by Oceander
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To: Oceander

Glad you liked it!! (Feel free to use it!!!)


159 posted on 03/12/2014 8:52:12 PM PDT by musicman (Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
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To: SoothingDave

13. I didnt at first either but I think it just means any person of the left who claims socialism or communism wasn’t “ done right.”


160 posted on 03/16/2014 3:52:43 PM PDT by crazycatlady
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To: musicman

God one. Obstetrician, but good one.


161 posted on 03/16/2014 4:14:11 PM PDT by crazycatlady
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To: All

When I was in 8th grade, teachers may have been a little more sadistic than now. One day we got an assignment the teacher said was about following instructions and it was to be done in class. At the top of the page it stated that we were to read ALL of the instructions before beginning anything. Then there were instructions to do a bunch of silly, embarrassing stuff, jumping jacks, writing stuff on the blackboard, etc. I was dreading it. One by one, kids were getting up and beginning the tasks. But I kept reading. At the end it said something to the effect we were to disregard everything that went before, not do any of it.
It was one of the most memorable lessons I had in school, but it’s important to remember that it was a lesson about following instructions, not how smart you are. I think that most of the people who did it wrong are making more money than I am today and the girls(a lot of the ones who did it wrong were girls) married better than me.


162 posted on 03/16/2014 4:46:48 PM PDT by crazycatlady
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To: The Looking Spoon
Don't do it as much as I once did but... When calling someone on phone and receptionist/operator/etc asks "May I ask who is calling?"

My answer is "Of course"

Pregnant pause...."May I ask who is calling?" "Oh, I thought you were asking if you could ask"....

....EVERYONE PLEASES EVERYONE ELSE....

SOME BY ENTERING A ROOM, OTHERS BY LEAVING.

163 posted on 03/16/2014 4:53:06 PM PDT by xrmusn (6/98 --"I would agree with you BUT that would make both of us wrong".)
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