Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Kerry Issues Ultimatum to Russians
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 March 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/14/2014 7:26:00 PM PDT by John Semmens

US Secretary of State John Kerry chastised Russian President Vladimir Putin for his country’s “unwarranted interference in the internal affairs of Ukraine” and warned that “serious repercussions will be undertaken.”

“National sovereignty is a principle that you either respect or don’t,” Kerry lectured Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov in high level talks this past week. “Engaging in displays of military strength or actual incursions into a foreign country in order to influence or intimidate its government is not acceptable.”

Lavrov questioned Kerry’s sincerity and historical knowledge by alluding to US intervention in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya in recent years and the American Civil War. “Hypocrisy is not a coherent policy,” the Russian Foreign Minister countered. “Unless Mr. Kerry is ready to acknowledge his own country’s violations of the sovereignty of other states and offer to make amends why should we take his current objections seriously?”

Kerry gave the Russians until Monday to “reverse course or face the consequences.” Kerry declined to elaborate on what the “consequences” might entail on the grounds that “retaining the element of surprise is crucial to the success of any armed intervention.”

Not content to wait for decisive action from the Obama Administration, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) is reportedly on his way to Ukraine “to serve as a ‘human shield’ against any further Russian incursions. All we really need is for people of stature to face down these cowardly invaders. If FDR or Churchill had placed themselves in front of the German Army on the Polish border in 1939 Hitler would never have dared attack.”

In related news, Kerry called Israel’s insistence that it be recognized as a Jewish state a mistake. “Globally, there are only 12 million Jews compared to over a billion Muslims,” Kerry observed. “Allowing such a tiny minority to block the majority’s desire to assert a different philosophy of governance for the region now known as Israel would be profoundly undemocratic. Justice requires that the lesser number yield to the greater number. My Government cannot acquiesce in a protocol that would permit a minority to rule over a majority.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/03/15/president-admits-obamacare-will-block-access-to-many-doctors/


TOPICS: Government; History; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: deanwormer; israel; kerry; russians; satire
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-56 next last

1 posted on 03/14/2014 7:26:00 PM PDT by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 03/14/2014 7:26:38 PM PDT by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Come on, John! You don’t need to go all Hans Blix on Vlad!


3 posted on 03/14/2014 7:28:04 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Sure sounds like the sort of stuff Lurch would come up with...(the line grows ever thinner!)


4 posted on 03/14/2014 7:29:17 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

The reset button now activates the ICBMs?


5 posted on 03/14/2014 7:29:48 PM PDT by Olog-hai
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

John Kerry's gonna put down a red line.

6 posted on 03/14/2014 7:29:54 PM PDT by mountn man (The Pleasure You Get From Life Is Equal To The Attitude You Put Into It)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

I guess Kerry’s going to hit Lavrov or Putin with his “Purple Hearts” and say, “See, I’m one tough hombre”.

Maybe he’s hoping that they will die of laughter.

What a damned stupid putz and traitor. a bottle of Ketchup has more intelligence than he has.

Somebody put a dress on Kerry and send him to Cambodia on a slow boat. Please!!


7 posted on 03/14/2014 7:30:11 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
“serious repercussions will be undertaken.”

Vlad's security people probably came running into the room to see what all the commotion was about when he read that.

Had to pick him up off the floor and set him back on his chair - probably called medical.

8 posted on 03/14/2014 7:31:14 PM PDT by grobdriver (Where is Wilson Blair when you need him?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jack Hydrazine

Hoping to start a war to stimulate the economy (one that we will lose badly since 0 gayified it). Yep that’s how bad 0 has botched the economy.


9 posted on 03/14/2014 7:31:53 PM PDT by jsanders2001
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
Kerry Issues Ultimatum to Russians

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, oh my side hurts, hahahahahahaha!!!!!

10 posted on 03/14/2014 7:32:08 PM PDT by doc1019
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

With a Russian listening ship in Cuba, to boot.


11 posted on 03/14/2014 7:32:54 PM PDT by combat_boots (The Lion of Judah cometh. Hallelujah. Gloria Patri, Filio et Spiritui Sancto!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: mountn man

There are two colors of lines that represent Kerry:

1. Red - as in his support of the communists in Vietnam and Nicaragua

2. Yellow - as in his behavior on the Bay Hap River and in his general political conduct in the face of the enemy (Iran, Sandinistas, FLMN of El Salvador, Castro, Chavez, Morales, Correa, little “Kims” of No. Korea, and the Taliban).

They are known as a Kerry “rainbow”.


12 posted on 03/14/2014 7:33:46 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
“retaining the element of surprise is crucial to the success of any armed intervention.”

John, I literally laughed so hard here that I couldn't breathe. Are you trying to kill me?

13 posted on 03/14/2014 7:38:01 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MadMax, the Grinning Reaper

How about a black line for treason at Winter Soldier and Paris?


14 posted on 03/14/2014 7:39:56 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

“Kerry Issues Ultimatum to Russians”

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!


15 posted on 03/14/2014 7:40:11 PM PDT by Castigar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

It could be much worse for the ukrainians. It could be Muslims taking over their country for example.


16 posted on 03/14/2014 7:40:33 PM PDT by RC one (Militarized law enforcement is just a nice way of saying martial law enforcement.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
Kerry will do for the Ukraine what he did for Vietnam and Cambodia.


17 posted on 03/14/2014 7:41:11 PM PDT by MuttTheHoople (Nothing is more savage and brutal than justifiably angry Americans. Don’t believe me? Ask the Germa)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Stop interfering or I shall taunt you a second time!


18 posted on 03/14/2014 7:43:03 PM PDT by unseelie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
Kerry Issues Ultimatum to Mexico

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 March 2014 | John Semineemilyimpossibly

Posted on ‎3‎/‎14‎/‎2014‎ ‎10‎:‎26‎:‎00‎ ‎PM by John etc,

US Secretary of State John Kerry chastised Mexico President Vladimacho Putinez for his country’s “unwarranted interference in the internal affairs of the USA” and warned that “serious repercussions will be undertaken.”

“National sovereignty is a principle that you either respect or don’t,” Kerry lectured Mexican Foreign Minister Sergeyleo Lavrovetvez in high level talks this past week. “Engaging in displays of illegal cross-border emigration or condoning and actual incursions into a foreign country as USA in order to influence or intimidate its government is not acceptable.”

Such serious repercussions include boycotting of all Taco Bell restaurants and banning of all tequila imports to the USA.

19 posted on 03/14/2014 7:44:48 PM PDT by bunkerhill7 ("The Second Amendment has no limits on firepower"-NY State Senator Kathleen A. Marchione.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
Kerry: I'm warning you; I'll sit here and pout/scream/stamp my feet..and issue a tersely written letter.

20 posted on 03/14/2014 7:46:30 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Caligula / 0'Reid / 0'Pelosi)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Kerry declined to elaborate on what the “consequences” might entail on the grounds that “retaining the element of surprise is crucial...

Kerry: You’d better read it to them Mr President.
Obama: Er.... Nobody...um....
Kerry: Expects...
Obama: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Obama...um...
Kerry: Consequences.
Obama: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Obama consequences. In fact, those who do expect -
Kerry: Our chief weapons are...
Obama: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Kerry: Surprise...
Obama: Surprise and —
Kerry: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah.


21 posted on 03/14/2014 7:55:43 PM PDT by mrsmith (Dumb sluts: Lifeblood of the Media, Backbone of the Democrat Party!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
booo...



22 posted on 03/14/2014 8:08:56 PM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -vvv- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: mrsmith
The world is watching a Plane disappear

Putin is planning for East Ukraine to disappear

23 posted on 03/14/2014 8:11:13 PM PDT by scooby321
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

And this time he really means it.

He’s putting Putin on double secret probation.


24 posted on 03/14/2014 8:15:10 PM PDT by Rocky (The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it. George Orwell)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

You go, John. Dare him to make you call your bluff.


25 posted on 03/14/2014 8:22:26 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

“serious repercussions will be undertaken.”

Another red line in the sand?


26 posted on 03/14/2014 8:24:43 PM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (What we need is to sucker the fedthugs into a "Tiananmen Square"-like incident on the National Mall!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Chode

John Cleese has signed to play the title role in “John Kerry - A triumphant life”


27 posted on 03/14/2014 8:28:44 PM PDT by Rembrandt (Part of the 51% who pay Federal taxes)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Rembrandt
LOL!!! gonna be a hard role to play since he's never played the part of a clown BIGGER than he is...
28 posted on 03/14/2014 8:34:47 PM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -vvv- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Or what?? He’d marry the richest woman in Russia???


29 posted on 03/14/2014 8:37:22 PM PDT by varmintman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
John pens another fine and timely column.

When I look at (actual) news quotes from Mister Obama, Kerry and the like, they almost seem to have come from Mad Magazine.

It must be difficult to satirize semi-believable, semi-true political statements as the truth could, indeed, be stranger than the satire.

.

30 posted on 03/14/2014 8:54:54 PM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

“Engaging in displays of military strength or actual incursions into a foreign country in order to influence or intimidate its government is not acceptable.”

Isn’t that what we’re doing?


31 posted on 03/14/2014 8:57:43 PM PDT by VerySadAmerican (".....Barrack, and the horse Mohammed rode in on.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

so what’s he going to do, send the FBI to arrest Putin??


32 posted on 03/14/2014 8:58:49 PM PDT by 1st Division guy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Good one John. Thanks for the ping.


33 posted on 03/14/2014 9:03:38 PM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will. They ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: spel_grammer_an_punct_polise

THESE PEOPLE need some Statesman training and a class on real diplomacy. Unbelievable juvenile stuff, and dangerous.


34 posted on 03/14/2014 9:06:56 PM PDT by Kackikat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

:)


35 posted on 03/14/2014 9:07:04 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Double-secret repercussions.


36 posted on 03/14/2014 9:07:48 PM PDT by Rio (Proud resident of the State of Jefferson)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: varmintman

*chuckle*

Since Kerry has had two very wealthy wives, I’m beginning to wonder what “assets” he has the rest of us can’t see. (wink wink)


37 posted on 03/14/2014 9:24:25 PM PDT by berdie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

On this one Kerry really showed his low and backward level of reasoning. With the Muslims already in the USA his remarks can make an argument that the USA should not be a Nation because there are so many more Muslims in the world. Just perhaps this is what Obama is reaching to accomplish.


38 posted on 03/14/2014 9:33:20 PM PDT by noinfringers2 ( /*)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
 photo KerryHeinzHandsUp2_zpsc044b437.jpg
39 posted on 03/14/2014 9:53:59 PM PDT by HotHunt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
Not content to wait for decisive action from the Obama Administration, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) is reportedly on his way to Ukraine “to serve as a ‘human shield’ against any further Russian incursions. All we really need is for people of stature to face down these cowardly invaders. If FDR or Churchill had placed themselves in front of the German Army on the Polish border in 1939 Hitler would never have dared attack.”

***

Priceless. Could be the old fool may have finally found a useful purpose. LOL

Thanks again for the ping.

40 posted on 03/14/2014 10:47:01 PM PDT by fatnotlazy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/03/15/president-admits-obamacare-will-block-access-to-many-doctors/
And we keep posting this kind of crap why?

41 posted on 03/14/2014 10:52:42 PM PDT by ASouthernGrl (BHO sucks - literally or metaphorically, you decide.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

LOL @ McCain being a human shield.


42 posted on 03/15/2014 1:08:26 AM PDT by wastedyears (I'm a pessimist, I say plenty of negative things. Consider it a warning of sorts.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MadMax, the Grinning Reaper

Until I read your post I couldn’t figure out their strategy either, but it is brilliant. They expect the Russians to laugh themselves to death. How’s that working out so far?


43 posted on 03/15/2014 3:34:21 AM PDT by Former Proud Canadian (Cruz/Palin 2016)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Hey Kerry,
Hey obammy,
Puttie is kicking both your asses all over the place.
Youse guys aren’t even in the same game.


44 posted on 03/15/2014 3:39:22 AM PDT by Joe Boucher ((FUBO) obammy lied and lied and lied)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
“Allowing such a tiny minority to block the majority’s desire to assert a different philosophy of governance for the region now known as Israel would be profoundly undemocratic. Justice requires that the lesser number yield to the greater number. My Government cannot acquiesce in a protocol that would permit a minority to rule over a majority.”

I don't think that last part is satire. I think that's Kerry's actual policy, just stated differently. I think he, and 0bama really are that GD stupid.

Great work, as always.

45 posted on 03/15/2014 4:32:49 AM PDT by Hardastarboard (The question of our age is whether a majority of Americans can and will vote us all into slavery.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Kind of like a 6 year old girl threatening Rambo.


46 posted on 03/15/2014 5:18:28 AM PDT by ThePatriotsFlag ("There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide." - Thomas Jefferson)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ThePatriotsFlag
This is clearly a man who means business...


47 posted on 03/15/2014 5:26:32 AM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: ASouthernGrl; John Semmens

Perhaps because some of us enjoy it.


48 posted on 03/15/2014 6:07:27 AM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Cross this red line, the one behind this yellow line and I will hit you with a ketsup bottle, I swear!


49 posted on 03/15/2014 6:56:28 AM PDT by ronnie raygun (Zippy the a##clown sez..............)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

lybia, egypt, Vietnam, Bosnia, etc. (iraq doesn’t count: its leader was, first, attacking another country and, the second time, sabre rattling directly against us at the wrong time).

Pot, meet kettle.


50 posted on 03/15/2014 8:29:03 AM PDT by cuban leaf
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-56 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson