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Kerry Issues Ultimatum to Russians
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 March 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/14/2014 7:26:00 PM PDT by John Semmens

US Secretary of State John Kerry chastised Russian President Vladimir Putin for his country’s “unwarranted interference in the internal affairs of Ukraine” and warned that “serious repercussions will be undertaken.”

“National sovereignty is a principle that you either respect or don’t,” Kerry lectured Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov in high level talks this past week. “Engaging in displays of military strength or actual incursions into a foreign country in order to influence or intimidate its government is not acceptable.”

Lavrov questioned Kerry’s sincerity and historical knowledge by alluding to US intervention in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya in recent years and the American Civil War. “Hypocrisy is not a coherent policy,” the Russian Foreign Minister countered. “Unless Mr. Kerry is ready to acknowledge his own country’s violations of the sovereignty of other states and offer to make amends why should we take his current objections seriously?”

Kerry gave the Russians until Monday to “reverse course or face the consequences.” Kerry declined to elaborate on what the “consequences” might entail on the grounds that “retaining the element of surprise is crucial to the success of any armed intervention.”

Not content to wait for decisive action from the Obama Administration, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) is reportedly on his way to Ukraine “to serve as a ‘human shield’ against any further Russian incursions. All we really need is for people of stature to face down these cowardly invaders. If FDR or Churchill had placed themselves in front of the German Army on the Polish border in 1939 Hitler would never have dared attack.”

In related news, Kerry called Israel’s insistence that it be recognized as a Jewish state a mistake. “Globally, there are only 12 million Jews compared to over a billion Muslims,” Kerry observed. “Allowing such a tiny minority to block the majority’s desire to assert a different philosophy of governance for the region now known as Israel would be profoundly undemocratic. Justice requires that the lesser number yield to the greater number. My Government cannot acquiesce in a protocol that would permit a minority to rule over a majority.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/03/15/president-admits-obamacare-will-block-access-to-many-doctors/


TOPICS: Government; History; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: deanwormer; israel; kerry; russians; satire
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1 posted on 03/14/2014 7:26:00 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 03/14/2014 7:26:38 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Come on, John! You don’t need to go all Hans Blix on Vlad!


3 posted on 03/14/2014 7:28:04 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
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To: John Semmens

Sure sounds like the sort of stuff Lurch would come up with...(the line grows ever thinner!)


4 posted on 03/14/2014 7:29:17 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: John Semmens

The reset button now activates the ICBMs?


5 posted on 03/14/2014 7:29:48 PM PDT by Olog-hai
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To: John Semmens

John Kerry's gonna put down a red line.

6 posted on 03/14/2014 7:29:54 PM PDT by mountn man (The Pleasure You Get From Life Is Equal To The Attitude You Put Into It)
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To: John Semmens

I guess Kerry’s going to hit Lavrov or Putin with his “Purple Hearts” and say, “See, I’m one tough hombre”.

Maybe he’s hoping that they will die of laughter.

What a damned stupid putz and traitor. a bottle of Ketchup has more intelligence than he has.

Somebody put a dress on Kerry and send him to Cambodia on a slow boat. Please!!


7 posted on 03/14/2014 7:30:11 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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To: John Semmens
“serious repercussions will be undertaken.”

Vlad's security people probably came running into the room to see what all the commotion was about when he read that.

Had to pick him up off the floor and set him back on his chair - probably called medical.

8 posted on 03/14/2014 7:31:14 PM PDT by grobdriver (Where is Wilson Blair when you need him?)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Hoping to start a war to stimulate the economy (one that we will lose badly since 0 gayified it). Yep that’s how bad 0 has botched the economy.


9 posted on 03/14/2014 7:31:53 PM PDT by jsanders2001
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To: John Semmens
Kerry Issues Ultimatum to Russians

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, oh my side hurts, hahahahahahaha!!!!!

10 posted on 03/14/2014 7:32:08 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: John Semmens

With a Russian listening ship in Cuba, to boot.


11 posted on 03/14/2014 7:32:54 PM PDT by combat_boots (The Lion of Judah cometh. Hallelujah. Gloria Patri, Filio et Spiritui Sancto!)
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To: mountn man

There are two colors of lines that represent Kerry:

1. Red - as in his support of the communists in Vietnam and Nicaragua

2. Yellow - as in his behavior on the Bay Hap River and in his general political conduct in the face of the enemy (Iran, Sandinistas, FLMN of El Salvador, Castro, Chavez, Morales, Correa, little “Kims” of No. Korea, and the Taliban).

They are known as a Kerry “rainbow”.


12 posted on 03/14/2014 7:33:46 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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To: John Semmens
“retaining the element of surprise is crucial to the success of any armed intervention.”

John, I literally laughed so hard here that I couldn't breathe. Are you trying to kill me?

13 posted on 03/14/2014 7:38:01 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
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To: MadMax, the Grinning Reaper

How about a black line for treason at Winter Soldier and Paris?


14 posted on 03/14/2014 7:39:56 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
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To: John Semmens

“Kerry Issues Ultimatum to Russians”

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!


15 posted on 03/14/2014 7:40:11 PM PDT by Castigar
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To: John Semmens

It could be much worse for the ukrainians. It could be Muslims taking over their country for example.


16 posted on 03/14/2014 7:40:33 PM PDT by RC one (Militarized law enforcement is just a nice way of saying martial law enforcement.)
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To: John Semmens
Kerry will do for the Ukraine what he did for Vietnam and Cambodia.


17 posted on 03/14/2014 7:41:11 PM PDT by MuttTheHoople (Nothing is more savage and brutal than justifiably angry Americans. Don’t believe me? Ask the Germa)
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To: John Semmens

Stop interfering or I shall taunt you a second time!


18 posted on 03/14/2014 7:43:03 PM PDT by unseelie
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To: John Semmens
Kerry Issues Ultimatum to Mexico

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 March 2014 | John Semineemilyimpossibly

Posted on ‎3‎/‎14‎/‎2014‎ ‎10‎:‎26‎:‎00‎ ‎PM by John etc,

US Secretary of State John Kerry chastised Mexico President Vladimacho Putinez for his country’s “unwarranted interference in the internal affairs of the USA” and warned that “serious repercussions will be undertaken.”

“National sovereignty is a principle that you either respect or don’t,” Kerry lectured Mexican Foreign Minister Sergeyleo Lavrovetvez in high level talks this past week. “Engaging in displays of illegal cross-border emigration or condoning and actual incursions into a foreign country as USA in order to influence or intimidate its government is not acceptable.”

Such serious repercussions include boycotting of all Taco Bell restaurants and banning of all tequila imports to the USA.

19 posted on 03/14/2014 7:44:48 PM PDT by bunkerhill7 ("The Second Amendment has no limits on firepower"-NY State Senator Kathleen A. Marchione.")
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To: John Semmens
Kerry: I'm warning you; I'll sit here and pout/scream/stamp my feet..and issue a tersely written letter.

20 posted on 03/14/2014 7:46:30 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Caligula / 0'Reid / 0'Pelosi)
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