Wife cooked 2 pumpkins pies on a thin cheap pan...pan heated up and twisted in oven showering the over with mixed pumpkin paste...oh the smell of burning pumpkin!
This all occurring while we were getting a new double door installed - as the other one was basic and cheap in the house we bought new in 2006...they had to replace the floor back to the first floor joist... with plastic up, sawing going, and tile being chipped up...
Then I have to re-clean the entire kitchen - just in case of the thin dust floating in & out - before I start a layered punch bowl cake...family is showing up - I’m out getting supplies as is EVERYONE ELSE - and trying to pick up pizza...
Yeah - never schedule everything at once - and buy your supplies weeks before making them...
Woke up early - drinking some coffee (actually four espressos in 1 cup)...and trying to get over to grandma’s house for Thanksgiving....
I shot my first turkey the other day. Unfortunately it upset everybody in the frozen food section.
hosted family and friends a few years ago - lot of folks - total of three turkeys. I was going to fry one - first time ever. Had the thing all set up - one of those units with a grill propane tank connected - warming up the grease....but the day was extraordinarily windy for some reason.
While the fryer was warming up outside, we were inside. Glanced out, and the hose from the tank to the burner was ON FIRE. I didn’t know whether to duck for the explosion of the propane tank or try and stop it. Couple of us finally rushed out there and put out the fire. Who knows how close to disaster we were.
Wife never allowed me to try and fry one again.
I hope the jokes get batter as the thread goes on
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNh5W491l3M
Happy Thanksgiving - Turkey Drop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeCGURWzjwE&spfreload=10
WKRP “Turkey’s Away”
Back in the 90’s I actually had a ‘Planes, Trains and Automobiles’ day with a Del Griffith like Character. I REALLY wanted to bring him back home with me just so I could tell my wife this great quote:
“Honey,I’d like you to meet Del Griffith, he’s got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here’s a gun so you can blow your brains out. You’ll thank me for it.”
I shot my first turkey yesterday..........Every one else in frozen foods FREAKED OUT!
All time favorite. “I swear I thought Turkeys could fly.”
Saw this today...
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried tochange the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary...
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
When I was a college freshman, I couldn’t afford to go home for Thanksgiving. Being somewhat homesick, the few of us left in the frat house decided to prepare a home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner and we decided to go all-out and include homemade bread. I was appointed bread chef. Not having made bread before, I was pretty clueless and, of course, back in ‘69 there was no Internet to turn to for advice.
I whipped up the bread dough recipe after figuring out the “knead” part pretty well and popped it in the oven. Being a rube, I didn’t understand technical terms like “yeast,” “rise,” “rest,” and “punch-down.” After 30 minutes, we had platefuls of hot glop from the oven! I think we resorted to Wonder bread after that failure.
Oldie, but goodie.
Cousin Reginald catches the Thanksgiving Turkey
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dok1/9214761429/
My very elderly dad, while talking the other day about what would be on the ‘groaning board’ today, asked if we were having that “cheesy” dish. I was thinking about everything: stuffing, turkey, corn pudding, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, cranberry jello salad .... and could not think of anything with cheese and I told him as much. He kept trying to remember what it was called & was getting frustrated, then started laughing a little and said “mom used to make it - it had cheese and ... and ... (taking forefinger/thumb & holding them about an inch apart) little WORM things in it”. Oh dad, you mean macaroni & cheese .... and he was then smiling, yes that was it. So today, I am making “Little Worm Things & Cheese” with a saltine cracker topping for him, as close to what his mom used to make as I can remember. Happy Thanksgiving, all. :-)
Not wanting that worthless quadruped to choke on a small bone, dad reached down for the bird's remains, and the fight was on. Oh, the growling, and barking and snapping of teeth… dad's patented cussing… the suppressed amusement of the rest of us…
That was probably the most bizarre Thanksgiving incident any of us had (or ever would have), and human nature being what it is, it is also the one that gets brought up every year and laughed about.
Mr. niteowl77
The first effort I recall my mom ever making to roast a turkey as a child didn’t turn out too well. Cooking was not her forté but oh how she tried. Nobody told her about the packet inside the turkey, for the giblet gravy. She left it inside and the paper began to smolder.
We also suffered the ignominy once of having to call out the fire department on Christmas morning, due to breakfast catching fire on the stove while she was distracted. No damage but flames were reaching up into the vent hood. They came, inspected the attic, no fire. Had a great big fan to suck all the smoke out of the house.
It was a warm Christmas that year, thank goodness. Flip a coin here, whether we’ll be cold or warm on Christmas. Once a decade or so we have snow.
P.S. The daughter and son-in-law do the dishes.
Couple of Thanksgivings ago, the floor drain in our basement backed up. So while our houseful — and I mean FULL — of guests were enjoying themselves, I was downstairs shin-deep in all the things that no one was going to eat, trying unsuccessfully to snake out the drain.
Last year, a pipe burst and flooded my daughter’s bedroom, along with half the downstairs.
Thanksgiving is now known as Plumber’s Day around our house.
Happy Thanksgiving - thanks for a fun thread
My mother swore “No more dogs!” after my dad’s German Shepherd jumped up on the table, snatched a roast she had planned on cooking for a fancy dinner and ran outside to devour it.
My mother got her way after that dog died. She got an adult cat from one of her do-gooder friends. As was my mother’s custom, she put frozen turkey into a roasting pan on the kitchen table to thaw out the night before Thanksgiving. She awoke in the morning to find the fat cat was on top of the turkey eating it raw. To make matters worse, the cat decided the turkey was his and set up a defense of the bird and the roasting pan.
I had to drive to the store to pick up two medium birds to replace the large one. I had the foresight to pick up a stack of disposable, aluminum roasting pans because I knew the cat would not allow anyone to take the fancy enameled roasting pan since that would require moving the turkey.
My mother prepared the two smaller turkeys for our family and guests. She tried to keep everyone out of the kitchen because she didn’t want anyone to know the cat had established a defense perimeter on the kitchen table and would hassle anyone getting to close to his turkey.
After that Thanksgiving the cat was restricted to a closet from the night before until the morning after Thanksgiving.
The food turned out fine. But, while sitting in the living room, the guests heard gunfire outside. Yes, I'm serious - our street that day turned into a homicide crime scene. The police blocked off the street with yellow tape, and no one was allowed to leave. I had to call other friends who were running late and warn them not to come. Our guests spent the remainder of their Thanksgiving Day in our tiny living room debating how many shots were fired.
Needless to say, I am so thankful that we moved away from there, and my children never knew that environment. May God bless you all, and have a safe and happy Thanksgiving today.