Posted on 01/03/2015 7:44:18 AM PST by John Semmens
Citing reports that troops fighting for the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) may have come down with Ebola, US President Obama called for a halt in all military action against them.
"For us to continue the fight while our opponent is ailing would violate a basic sense of fairness," the President maintained. "If there's one thing I think all Americans can agree on it's that we shouldn't kick a foe when he's down. True sportsmanship mandates that we at least pause our attacks until ISIL troops are restored to health."
In a bid to help speed ISIL's recovery, President Obama offered to transport its ill soldiers to the US for treatment. "We have seen the contrast in cure rates for those left in the field compared to those brought to America for treatment," Obama said. "More than half of Ebola victims treated in Africa have died. All but one treated in America recovered."
The President held out hope that this gesture of compassion might soften ISIL's enmity toward us. "By taking this figurative thorn out of the lion's paw, so to speak, we extend a hand of friendship that could open the door to a more meaningful and peaceful future between our two peoples," Obama speculated.
World Health Organization (WHO) spokesman Christy Feig praised Obama's offer calling it "very Jesus-like. By turning the other cheek, President Obama has seized the moral high ground. Regardless of how ISIL responds he has vindicated the Nobel Peace Prize he was awarded six years ago."
For its part, ISIL has reportedly been executing Iraqi doctors who have failed to restore its fighters to full health.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/169005-2015-01-02-semi-news-semi-satire-january-4-2015-edition.htm
Hehe. Have to wonder if in real life the isis scum took in jihadists from an ebola country and are paying the price.
I hear an embassy is in the works.
Right on the mark.
Perhaps Guantanamo could be turned over to ISIS so the fighters and their families could have a place to have Caribbean vacation breaks.
"Semi-Satire?"
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