White House Against GOP Attempts to Restrict How Iran Spends Released Funds [semi-satire]

Semi-New/Semi-Satire ^ | 9 May 2015 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

A component of the forthcoming agreement between the US and Iran on nuclear weapons development is the US release of Iranian funds that have been frozen in US banks. GOP critics of the agreement fear that these funds will be used to aid terrorist attacks in the Middle East and elsewhere.

Press Secretary Josh Earnest mocked these fears as “paranoid delusions. It would make no sense for the Iranians to besmirch the rapport our two countries have worked so hard to achieve by ‘stabbing us in the back’ with such a duplicitous response to our generosity.”

Earnest cited “the historic precedent set by President Franklin Roosevelt’s policy of giving Stalin everything he wanted while asking nothing in return as evidence that trusting Iran to do the right thing will work out over the long run. Stalin did everything we could have hoped for when FDR extended this trust in their intentions.”

Earnest brushed off Stalin’s initiation of the Iron Curtain and the Cold War as “a predictable reaction to Truman’s post-war anti-communist policies. It was Truman who sent aid to Europe under the Marshall Plan with the express purpose of helping these war-torn nations resist communist inroads. This direct challenge to the Soviet Union’s interests provoked Stalin’s hostility. Today’s GOP mistrust of Iran threatens to repeat Truman’s errors.”

Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei rejected the idea that any conditions could be attached to how his country spends the released funds. “We are a sovereign nation,” Khamenei said. “How we handle our funds is no one else’s business.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2015/05/09/state-department-declines-to-pursue-influence-peddling-allegations/

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