Dems May Look to "Transracials" to Boost Non-White Staff [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 March 2017 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Struggling to make the racial composition of staffers more closely resemble the general population, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) is urging more of the 93% who are Caucasian "to look deep into themselves to see if they may be Black, Latino, or Muslim."

"We have made great strides incorporating transsexuals into the workforce to help boost the female cohort of our staff," Schumer remarked. "This got me to thinking that there must be a contingent of transracials out there who could help us meet our non-white quota. Maybe Rachel Dolezal was out ahead of the curve on this. I mean, the people that mocked her for declaring herself to be Black may have missed the boat. Who's to say she is wrong? If a person with a penis can declare himself a woman, then why can't a person with pale skin declare himself Black? There's probably more physical evidence for a white person being biologically part Black than there is for a man being part woman."

Meanwhile, the woman formerly known as Rachel Dolezal has finalized her transition to Black by adopting the name Nkechi Amare Diallo—a West African name that means "gift of god." Perhaps if more of the Congressional staffers were to simply adopt African names the concerns of Sen. Schumer would be assuaged.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/213789-2017-03-03-semi-news-semi-satire-march-5-2017-edition.htm

[John Semmens]

ping

[laplata]

Democrats are really insane.

[KarlInOhio]

John, did you forget that they already have Senator "Spreading Bull" Warren?

[Mears]

They never. never look for Asians in their search for diversity.

Why ?

.

[FlingWingFlyer]

Homo Sapiens have gone full retard. Never go full retard.

[John Semmens]

Non-Muslim Asians are generally law-abiding and productive and, thus, not reliable Democrat constituencies.

[Mears]

“Non-Muslim Asians are generally law-abiding and productive and, thus, not reliable Democrat constituencies.

---

Except in Hawaii. :-)

.

[Bob434]

I think i wanna be transwealthy

[Chode]

[PGalt]

Racial Dolezal redux??

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=rachel+dolezal&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

LOL, John Semmens! GRRRRRREAT work BUMP!

WHO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYMD_W_r3Fg

[TChad]

I imagine that George Washington, brought forward in time, would be delighted to find that his nation was still intact in 2017.

But what if he asked, "Tell me, what are the great, important issues of our country in this era?"

[Neidermeyer]

[dynachrome]

At work, I intend to “present” as a 7 foot tall Chinese lesbian womyn named Wang Chung, assuming I wish to have sudden retirement syndrome.

[COBOL2Java]

Chuckie should offer free DNA test kits to staff so they can “discover” previously unknown non-white ancestors! LOL

[Yardstick]

LOL!

I can just picture some Dem congressman boasting of the racial diversity of his lily white staff.

It actually would be interesting to see some stats on racial makeup of congressional staffers, broken down by party. I’d bet you ten bucks the Democrats don’t even come close to “looking like America”.

[houeto]

Thanks for the ping.

[Seaplaner]

Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) took a similar stance. "The notion that Trump can make America great by reversing the policies of President Obama is ludicrous," she asserted. "Promising to put people back to work may serve the interests of the rednecks who voted for Trump, but it has got to be scary for the tens of millions relieved of this onus by the increased government benefits the Democratic Administration gave them. When the government gives you a place to live and food to eat do you still really want to be put to work at some soul-numbing job?"

Judging from the responses, none of the above seems remotely fictional.

Another fine column, John.