Posted on 04/08/2017 8:54:24 AM PDT by John Semmens
Former First Daughter Chelsea Clinton touted herself as "a working model of what a young woman needs to do to succeed in today's world. I know that a lot of women in my generation are pretty bummed about my Mom's loss to Donald Trump. But they need to get off their duffs and get going. Just do what I did."
"One thing that I highly recommend for others is to get a job with a major television news outlet," she suggested. "These jobs are very rewarding. My starting salary at NBC News was $600,000. This type of salary will enable any young woman to make a major dent in her student-loan debt."
"Another good way to get ahead is to serve on corporate boards," Chelsea recommended. "I'm on two. Expedia pays me $40,000 per year plus $250,000 in stock options. Inter Active Corporation pays me a $300,000 annual retainer. The work is not arduous and doesn't take much time—just a couple of meetings a year. You don't even have to say anything at the meetings. You just have to be there. Nod a few times to show interest in what's being said. It's a great gig."
"And don't overlook the opportunity in doing books," she added. "Find someone who will write what you tell them to write. The publisher will pay for you to go on a book tour, so you get free travel. You get to go on TV and sit in book stores for a few hours signing autographs in a bunch of different cities. It's great."
"Now people are encouraging me to run for president," Chelsea boasted. "Naturally, I wouldn't expect everyone to rise as rapidly as I have. Not everyone is blessed with the same set of skills I have. But everyone can try a little harder. If you want money, ask for money. If you want more time for yourself, take it. Men have monopolized these tactics for too long. It's time women get their fair share. I've shown them how to do it."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/215913-2017-04-08-semi-news-semi-satire-april-9-2017-edition.htm
ping
I think you forgot:
Always demand a Cash Bribe for everything you do and accept the Bribe with a Smile.
Chelsea would be waiting tables third shift at the Waffle House if she weren’t Webb Hubbell’s and PIAPS’ “love” child.
If her parents weren’t who they are, young Chelsea would be just another burger flipper down on the corner. If she truly believes all that bullshit, I feel sorry for her.
Make sure your parents set up a slush fund for you. Tell everyone it’s for homeless Haitians and they’ll donate crazy amounts of money. It’s so easy it should be illegal.
Also it helps a lot to marry a rich guy. It’s great because you don’t even have to think about money.
Chelsea would be waiting tables third shift at the Waffle House if she weren’t Webb Hubbell’s and PIAPS’ “love” child.
Maybe. Good jobs are hard to find.
But she has pretty good genes. She is likely fairly smart.
More likely she would be working as an low level attorney.
Priceless. Thanks John!
She would be a public defender boinking all the black dudes in her charge
She would be a public defender boinking all the black dudes in her charge
That is so... Politically Correct!!
LOL! Well done.
Ha ha ha haaaaaaa
Let us not forget the biggy: Create a non profit slush fund and rape all of the donated money.
Fake-satire in the title? Does that make it true? haha.
LOL - - You captured her John...
Great, John, just great. I think you’ve got it!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.