Weiner Pleads for Leniency [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 Sep 2017 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Former congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NY) asked a Manhattan federal court to grant him leniency after his conviction for sending obscene emails and texts to an under-aged 15-year-old girl last year. Prosecutors are seeking a sentence of 21 to 27 months for a charge that carries a maximum of 10 years in prison.

Weiner's lawyers argued that "the girl was the instigator of the crime. She preyed upon the weaknesses of a man who was widely known as a sex pervert. Now she's written a book and will profit from the experience. So, to say that she was an innocent victim is false."

A second mitigating factor cited was "the fact is, Mr. Weiner's wife has already suffered enough. Her political career has been crushed. She's lost the confidence and affection of former Secretary of State, and the only person she truly loves, Hillary Clinton. Under the State of New York's community property law, her suffering ought to be credited against her husband's legal liability."

A third mitigating factor cited was that "given the narrow margin of her loss, it could be argued that the untimely revelation of Mr. Weiner's misdeeds tipped the scales against Mrs. Clinton in her run against Donald Trump for the presidency. Surely, the misery now being experienced by this dedicated public servant and her supporters is sufficient punishment without putting Mr. Weiner behind bars."

Lastly, Weiner's lawyers argued that "putting this man in jail will deprive his son of his father's presence. The boy's development would be stunted without the daily interaction and guidance his father would be able to provide if he is allowed to go free. Who will teach the boy how to be a man? Who will teach the boy the difference between right and wrong? For the sake of this young boy's future he needs his father."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=281331.0

[Celerity]

“Who will teach the boy how to be a man? “

We’ve been asking this question for 5 years.

[ImJustAnotherOkie]

I can see the headline now...
Judge goes Soft on Weiner!!

[Celerity]

Maybe Bill Clinton. He’s been raising other people’s kids for more than 2 decades.

[mastertex]

The big boys are going to love this little weiner ass......ha ha

[Rurudyne]

Put his little man on the block, proverbially speaking.

[Political Junkie Too]

To back up his plea for leniency, Weiner dropped his pants and asked the court, "Now be honest, is THIS really worth the maximum sentence?"

-PJ

[Bon mots]

[jobim]

Weiner sizzled in the courtroom, obviously taking relish in his role
as "top dog" in social media. Raked over the coals a number of times,
and falling behind in his excuses, he attempted to play catch-up, and
find links between his motives. The judge exclaimed that such was not
Kosher, and Weiner's appearance at that point was red hot.

[ptsal]

Anthony's next roommate will have some creative ideas.

[davandbar]

“How was I supposed to know she was only 13...she looked 15!” (Compliments of Cheech ‘n Chong’s Basketball Jones)